Now for Another Mental Health Announcement
After carrying on a fairly extensive conversation with Beth Gale before class in french, (which i wouldn't have had the confidence to do without the practice of me and katherine's new weekly french phone conversations. Thanks Katherine!), i got really frustrated in class, gave up, and started speaking english, and felt supremely stupid. I finally said a sentence towards the end of class to redeem myself, which makes for possibly my most active day participating ever, but i can't get over feeling so pathetic for breaking my good performance with that english outburst. Even my fairly consistent lack of participation is this semester's bi-weekly kick to my confidence. I walk out of that class everyday feeling like a beaten dog and vowing to be only an english major, but then realize that i am too far along to quit and that being monolingual would make me a very lazy american citizen of the world. will i ever speak this language? i don't know if i'll ever have the confidence and i really hope i'm not wasting my time. GOD WHY AM I SO DUMB.