Team Knight- Round 2- Fic: Insanity Is Not A Diagnosis (Part 1/?)
Title: Insanity Is Not A Diagnosis (1/?)
Author: whreflections
Prompt: Crossover ( Batman(nolanverse) / House M.D.)
Word count: 1, 431
Disclaimer: Nope, I don’t own them
Rating: PG, right now. This will change.
Warnings: …none that I can think of at the moment.
Summary: Something’s wrong with Joker…well, more than usual. Bruce goes to the best to try and find out what it is…
A/N: Crossover with one of my favorite shows...had this idea and just couldn't resist the urge to see Joker's interactions with House, especially. Hopefully, this comes out as entertaining as my head seems to think it could be...
“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””
Bruce Wayne leaned across the counter, absently watching the latest report on the news. Nothing too major, though at the moment they were showing follow up stories on those involved in a fire the week before, courtesy of the Joker. Most of the people in the restaurant had survived.
He was still tired from his activites as Batman the night before, and he had already started to run the day ahead of his Bruce Wayne through his thoughts. I have to make the meeting at 1….after that, I could probably get out of there if I wanted…
He jerked in shock as strong, thin arms wrapped around his waist, a familiar lean body pressing itself fully against him from behind. “Morning, sunshine.” The voice was even more familiar and his muscles relaxed, body twisted to let him lean back against the counter and wrap his own arms around the other man.
“Where the hell have you been?” His voice was far more angry, more annoyed than he felt. Even if he felt guilty for it, his predominant emotion at having his lover back in his arms was utter relief. No matter what the psychopath did, they were as tied together as he had tried to tell Bruce from the beginning. He had been slow and reluctant on the uptake, but they were as together now as they ever could be, and even Bruce had to admit his life was better for it. No matter how insane that was.
Joker grinned, shrugged his shoulders lightly as he slid his hands up to rest on Bruce’s shoulders. “Around. Here and there.” He licked his lips, leaned in until their foreheads rested against each other. “You’ve seen me.” He cocked his head, feigning thought. “Ah, last night I believe. On 15th, wasn’t it? I can’t remember…”
Bruce growled, eyes narrowing. “14th, when you blew up that old woman’s car. Yes, I remember that vividly, but you haven’t been here in at least a week.”
“What can I say, Brucey, I’m a free spirit…room to run, all that.” He jerked forward and crushed their lips together in a kiss that was somehow rough and tender all at once. “You missed me.”
Bruce’s heart thumped hard in his chest, warmth he had long ago stopped telling himself he didn’t feel spreading through his veins. “Just wondering what you were up to, that’s all.”
“Mmhm. You know, you’re really not a very good liar, Bats.” He left another swift, wet kiss against Bruce’s lips before pulling away, almost skipping toward the fridge. “What’s for breakfast?”
“It’s practically lunch. And get anything you want, I have to go to work.” He turned around to switch off the TV, anticipating Joker’s arguments. When he didn’t get one, he turned around slowly, eyebrows raised. “What, no ‘you have obligations to me you haven’t- Joker!” One hand was pressed against the refrigerator door, his body almost doubled over, an arm around his waist. Bruce was at his side in an instant, leaning against the door beside him. “Hey. Hey look at me, what’s going on?”
The clown didn’t look up, merely shook his head jerkily. “I…this…don’t feel so…” His knees gave out and fell shakily to the floor, vomiting onto the tile. He still held one hand pressed to the door and it shook a little, nails scraping against the surface.
“Alfred!” Bruce knelt beside him, swept green hair back to press a hand to his paint covered forehead. “It’s ok, come on, let’s go upstairs…”
Joker was already waving him off, though the skin that did show through the paint looked unnaturally pale. “No, it’s fine, I’m fine.”
“Like hell you are. Come on.” Bruce tugged him against his side, sliding an arm under his shoulder.
Alfred appeared in the doorway then and Bruce flashed him a look laced with worry. “He’s sick. I’m going to get him to lie down.”
“No, I’m-“
“Shut up, or I’ll handcuff you and you won’t have a choice.” He was silent the rest of the way upstairs and for that Bruce was grateful. It was probably nothing, whatever was wrong, but secretly, Bruce had been afraid of…well not this exactly but something like it. They both led extremely dangerous lives, but Joker’s was even more of a mystery than his. It seemed a certainty of probability that the man was going to run out of boundless luck one of these days.
Once he had him in bed Bruce muttered at him to stay there and disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a cold cloth for his forehead. Of course, that was a lost cause. Joker’s hand shot out to catch his wrist, glaring. “You want me to sit down for a minute, fine. But I don’t feel like taking this off right now.”
Bruce sighed heavily, glaring. Rather than yell, he resisted the urge, softened his voice instead. “Jack, I’m just worried about you.”
“I wonder what would happen to alllll that extra room in your head if you just stopped worrying, hm?” Those entrancing green eyes were glinting almost dangerously, and he knew better than to push him too far.
Bruce let the cloth fall to the floor, tried for a moment to find something to do with his hands before letting one of them fall to Joker’s shoulder. “Is there anything else that-“
“Nope, all better now, thanks.” He sat up quickly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and preparing to push himself all the way up. He never made it. His arms gave out on him, body twisting as the seizure overtook him.
“Shit.” Bruce’s hands shot out, grabbing Joker’s arms and holding him down. “Alfred! Get up here!”
“”””””””””””””””””””
The sound of the file hitting the desk was just loud enough to penetrate through the sounds of Stairway To Heaven in his ears but he ignored it, not even cracking an eye. That is, until his headphones were yanked roughly out of his ears by the cord. House opened his eyes wide enough to glare at his boss, reaching out to snatch the cord back from her. “That’s so rude, you know.”
“Yeah, well, I learned from the best. Got a case for you.”
House shoved at the corner of the file, twirling slightly in his chair. “Just got off a case. My brain needs time to recharge, otherwise I’ll be just as worthless as every other doctor that’s seen…” His head twisted to look at the name on the file but her hand fell just in time, covering it. “Mr. What’s His Name.”
Cuddy leaned over his desk to stare him down, eyes narrowing. “You’ve had a day to recharge. That’s plenty. And this case isn’t an option, House, you’re taking it.”
Without taking his eyes off of her he slide one hand into his blazer, pulling out his bottle of Vicodin and shaking it once before unscrewing the lid and tossing one back. He toyed with the cap a moment before screwing back on, letting it drop to the desk top. “You’re only ever this insistent if it’s personal, which means this is another kid you feel like you’re a mission from God to save.”
Her glare deepened. “It’s not a kid, and it’s not personal. Not directly.” There, she had his attention. At least for the moment. “The man bringing this patient here is extremely wealthy, and he is willing to pay well not only to see you but to guarantee our secrecy. The donation he has already sent is enough that I am utterly staggered at his generosity, and he has promised more when he takes his partner home. You will take this case, you will cure him, and we will keep this quiet because they want privacy, do you understand?”
His head fell back, looking at the ceiling as he twirled one full spin around in his chair. “Tell me, how does it feel, knowing you have a price? Usually, someone hiding something sets you off into-“
Her hand shot out to stop him mid-spin, catching the arm of his chair. “He’s a billionaire, and he wants privacy. I can’t imagine why that would be hard to come by.” She stepped back, shoving the file closer to him, reaching out to snatch the bottle of pills off his desk and rattle them. “Don’t forget, you have a price too.” She dropped the pills before he could snap at her, turning quickly and disappearing down the hallway.
He waited until he couldn’t hear her heels anymore to open the file.
“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””
A/N: Don’t worry, though there will be instances of Bruce taking care of Joker in this, he’s not going to be all vulnerable!Joker…I have some good ideas for mayhem he can cause around the hospital. :D
Author: whreflections
Prompt: Crossover ( Batman(nolanverse) / House M.D.)
Word count: 1, 431
Disclaimer: Nope, I don’t own them
Rating: PG, right now. This will change.
Warnings: …none that I can think of at the moment.
Summary: Something’s wrong with Joker…well, more than usual. Bruce goes to the best to try and find out what it is…
A/N: Crossover with one of my favorite shows...had this idea and just couldn't resist the urge to see Joker's interactions with House, especially. Hopefully, this comes out as entertaining as my head seems to think it could be...
“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””
Bruce Wayne leaned across the counter, absently watching the latest report on the news. Nothing too major, though at the moment they were showing follow up stories on those involved in a fire the week before, courtesy of the Joker. Most of the people in the restaurant had survived.
He was still tired from his activites as Batman the night before, and he had already started to run the day ahead of his Bruce Wayne through his thoughts. I have to make the meeting at 1….after that, I could probably get out of there if I wanted…
He jerked in shock as strong, thin arms wrapped around his waist, a familiar lean body pressing itself fully against him from behind. “Morning, sunshine.” The voice was even more familiar and his muscles relaxed, body twisted to let him lean back against the counter and wrap his own arms around the other man.
“Where the hell have you been?” His voice was far more angry, more annoyed than he felt. Even if he felt guilty for it, his predominant emotion at having his lover back in his arms was utter relief. No matter what the psychopath did, they were as tied together as he had tried to tell Bruce from the beginning. He had been slow and reluctant on the uptake, but they were as together now as they ever could be, and even Bruce had to admit his life was better for it. No matter how insane that was.
Joker grinned, shrugged his shoulders lightly as he slid his hands up to rest on Bruce’s shoulders. “Around. Here and there.” He licked his lips, leaned in until their foreheads rested against each other. “You’ve seen me.” He cocked his head, feigning thought. “Ah, last night I believe. On 15th, wasn’t it? I can’t remember…”
Bruce growled, eyes narrowing. “14th, when you blew up that old woman’s car. Yes, I remember that vividly, but you haven’t been here in at least a week.”
“What can I say, Brucey, I’m a free spirit…room to run, all that.” He jerked forward and crushed their lips together in a kiss that was somehow rough and tender all at once. “You missed me.”
Bruce’s heart thumped hard in his chest, warmth he had long ago stopped telling himself he didn’t feel spreading through his veins. “Just wondering what you were up to, that’s all.”
“Mmhm. You know, you’re really not a very good liar, Bats.” He left another swift, wet kiss against Bruce’s lips before pulling away, almost skipping toward the fridge. “What’s for breakfast?”
“It’s practically lunch. And get anything you want, I have to go to work.” He turned around to switch off the TV, anticipating Joker’s arguments. When he didn’t get one, he turned around slowly, eyebrows raised. “What, no ‘you have obligations to me you haven’t- Joker!” One hand was pressed against the refrigerator door, his body almost doubled over, an arm around his waist. Bruce was at his side in an instant, leaning against the door beside him. “Hey. Hey look at me, what’s going on?”
The clown didn’t look up, merely shook his head jerkily. “I…this…don’t feel so…” His knees gave out and fell shakily to the floor, vomiting onto the tile. He still held one hand pressed to the door and it shook a little, nails scraping against the surface.
“Alfred!” Bruce knelt beside him, swept green hair back to press a hand to his paint covered forehead. “It’s ok, come on, let’s go upstairs…”
Joker was already waving him off, though the skin that did show through the paint looked unnaturally pale. “No, it’s fine, I’m fine.”
“Like hell you are. Come on.” Bruce tugged him against his side, sliding an arm under his shoulder.
Alfred appeared in the doorway then and Bruce flashed him a look laced with worry. “He’s sick. I’m going to get him to lie down.”
“No, I’m-“
“Shut up, or I’ll handcuff you and you won’t have a choice.” He was silent the rest of the way upstairs and for that Bruce was grateful. It was probably nothing, whatever was wrong, but secretly, Bruce had been afraid of…well not this exactly but something like it. They both led extremely dangerous lives, but Joker’s was even more of a mystery than his. It seemed a certainty of probability that the man was going to run out of boundless luck one of these days.
Once he had him in bed Bruce muttered at him to stay there and disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a cold cloth for his forehead. Of course, that was a lost cause. Joker’s hand shot out to catch his wrist, glaring. “You want me to sit down for a minute, fine. But I don’t feel like taking this off right now.”
Bruce sighed heavily, glaring. Rather than yell, he resisted the urge, softened his voice instead. “Jack, I’m just worried about you.”
“I wonder what would happen to alllll that extra room in your head if you just stopped worrying, hm?” Those entrancing green eyes were glinting almost dangerously, and he knew better than to push him too far.
Bruce let the cloth fall to the floor, tried for a moment to find something to do with his hands before letting one of them fall to Joker’s shoulder. “Is there anything else that-“
“Nope, all better now, thanks.” He sat up quickly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and preparing to push himself all the way up. He never made it. His arms gave out on him, body twisting as the seizure overtook him.
“Shit.” Bruce’s hands shot out, grabbing Joker’s arms and holding him down. “Alfred! Get up here!”
“”””””””””””””””””””
The sound of the file hitting the desk was just loud enough to penetrate through the sounds of Stairway To Heaven in his ears but he ignored it, not even cracking an eye. That is, until his headphones were yanked roughly out of his ears by the cord. House opened his eyes wide enough to glare at his boss, reaching out to snatch the cord back from her. “That’s so rude, you know.”
“Yeah, well, I learned from the best. Got a case for you.”
House shoved at the corner of the file, twirling slightly in his chair. “Just got off a case. My brain needs time to recharge, otherwise I’ll be just as worthless as every other doctor that’s seen…” His head twisted to look at the name on the file but her hand fell just in time, covering it. “Mr. What’s His Name.”
Cuddy leaned over his desk to stare him down, eyes narrowing. “You’ve had a day to recharge. That’s plenty. And this case isn’t an option, House, you’re taking it.”
Without taking his eyes off of her he slide one hand into his blazer, pulling out his bottle of Vicodin and shaking it once before unscrewing the lid and tossing one back. He toyed with the cap a moment before screwing back on, letting it drop to the desk top. “You’re only ever this insistent if it’s personal, which means this is another kid you feel like you’re a mission from God to save.”
Her glare deepened. “It’s not a kid, and it’s not personal. Not directly.” There, she had his attention. At least for the moment. “The man bringing this patient here is extremely wealthy, and he is willing to pay well not only to see you but to guarantee our secrecy. The donation he has already sent is enough that I am utterly staggered at his generosity, and he has promised more when he takes his partner home. You will take this case, you will cure him, and we will keep this quiet because they want privacy, do you understand?”
His head fell back, looking at the ceiling as he twirled one full spin around in his chair. “Tell me, how does it feel, knowing you have a price? Usually, someone hiding something sets you off into-“
Her hand shot out to stop him mid-spin, catching the arm of his chair. “He’s a billionaire, and he wants privacy. I can’t imagine why that would be hard to come by.” She stepped back, shoving the file closer to him, reaching out to snatch the bottle of pills off his desk and rattle them. “Don’t forget, you have a price too.” She dropped the pills before he could snap at her, turning quickly and disappearing down the hallway.
He waited until he couldn’t hear her heels anymore to open the file.
“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””
A/N: Don’t worry, though there will be instances of Bruce taking care of Joker in this, he’s not going to be all vulnerable!Joker…I have some good ideas for mayhem he can cause around the hospital. :D