(no subject)
I'm having a horrible time of it at the moment.
My mum appears to be suffering from some kind of mental break she's spent the last two weeks thinking someone was at the door trying to set it on fire, hearing voices and last night was taking away to people that weren't there.
I've hardly had a good night sleep since it started and have taken to barracading the door to prevent her from walking off in the middle of the night. I can't leave the house, not and leave her alone, and since she hates my dad I can't leave her with him, so he's having to do all the shopping. But I can't get out to get my checks (some of which I have to get reissued now) or pay the phone bill. I'm agorophobic, but this may cure it!
The doctor says there's nothing he can do till the psychiatric people evaluate her sometime this week (he said that last friday) so in the mean time I'm left alone with her, terrified of what's going to happen next, and feeling really let down by her doctors.
I mean how is it okay that I'm left to look after her all on my own, it can't be good for her, and if I have to keep giving up sleep and going through the stress of all this IM going to ask them to commit ME just to get a break!
Anyway sorry just wanted to get that out.
I miss going to my maths class, (I had to miss it today).
I just feel really depressed about it all and am wondering now over my life at how many other episodes, milder though they may have been, that she may have had that I didn't notice.
She sleeping now, but my stomach is literally clenched and I'm shaking over what she'll be like when she wakes up.