Broken...
Broken...that about sums up how I am feeling right now. Incomplete is also a pretty good term as well. I just feel that by this time in my life some major changes and exciting things should have happened to me. They haven't. I just feel...numb. Horribly numb, but if I'm numb, how can I hurt at the same time? I guess because every part of me is numb except my soul. It's very hurt. I feel broken, like my soul, my ghost, is floating outside my body. I'm just a shell walking this earth right now. I feel empty. I feel alone. I feel I should have accomplished so much more out of life than I have at my age. I look around and I see soo many people around my age...some younger, that have done far more wondrous things than I have, they have seen the world, walked everywhere, seen everything, done everything...and I am here, working everyday just to stay alive. Hurting everyday as proof of my existence. Pain makes one real! If one doesn't hurt, they do not live. I feel soo helpless and sorry, I can't even keep up with the repairs on my car. I feel I should be able to do this! I am soo hurt knowing that everyday I drive to work in order to make the money that I need to fix my car, my car is suffering more and more damage. The cost of repair is getting higher and higher. But I have to work to fix it. It's a vicious cycle. Some of my old HS chums have already obtained college degrees...I still have another year and a half. I sometimes wonder if everything is ever going to change. Am I ever going to graduate? lol It feels that way right now. I feel some detachment from some of my friends, my boyfriend not excluded. When we touch there are times I don't feel anything. I just feel numb. Perhaps the body cannot feel when the soul hurts so badly that it has detached itself from one's physical body.
I don't go out of my way to listen to any country music, but I must say that even reading the lyrics makes me very emotional. This song touches me soo much that I felt that I had to put the entire song here.
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
-from "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley
I don't go out of my way to listen to any country music, but I must say that even reading the lyrics makes me very emotional. This song touches me soo much that I felt that I had to put the entire song here.
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
-from "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley