Why?
I hate this. I really wanted to see Beka tonight, and I thought I would be okay with it. And I was, for a little while. But then I start to think. I miss her so much, i miss holding her, i miss the goodnight kiss, i miss everything about her. When I came to pick her up, and I saw her, I was blown away once again. She just always looks so beautiful, and I just want to hold her and kiss her. And I also want her to be happy so I must respect how she feels, but I can't help but think about what I had, what i've lost. I have a feling that I will always be this way when I see her. But there is nothing I can do about that, I can't not see her, that would rip me apart. I jut don;t know what to do....