At work
I'm sitting in the office at work right now.
I had about three hours of sleep last night and I hardly ate any of lunch of cheddar triscuits and ginger ale.
(Yeah, I know I should eat something else . . . bite me.)
As my mum would say, I have a hitch in my get-up: I have started this weird limping thing since I started work. It hurts to go up steps, but I just clench my jaw and go. No rest for the wicked.
Why didn't I get any sleep?
Well, see, I've been having weird dreams. Cassie (and Cameron, to some extent) told me it was my subconcious trying to make my thoughts known to me. Hmm. Yeah, well I don't need dreams where Cassie is telling me I can't have pizza 'cause I only work a part-time job, nor do I need dreams where I'm at my mother's library and I get taken away by Cameron and I feel terrible guilt (I actually felt it in my dream) about leaving my mother to deal with a library full of patrons . . .
I also didn't sleep much because my brain wouldn't shut up for one damned second so I could rest. Oh, no, instead it talked to itself and there were voices shouting and pushing and I got so fed up . . . and I pulled out my lap top and began typing. It wasn't story (although I wish it was.) No, it was my whining and complaining. One of the voices insisted I post what I wrote here. I told her to shut up and that it doesn't matter what I write. It just doesn't.
After I wrote it all out, my mind stopped shouting and I finally got some sleep at about 4:30 in the morning.
*sigh*
Anyways, I finally got a library card here. I'm apart of the staff so I get special priveledges . . . whatever they are.
At least I only work until 5pm.
Then I think I'm going to go home and cry.
Oh, and Happy Birthday Steph! I promise I'll get you gifts . . . I promise!! Oh, and just so you know, a crazy lady on the phone asked me how old I was. My response? "25." Apparently I have resigned myself to the fact already that I'm a scant few years away from 30.
My brother is gonna have a field day with me the day I turn 30. I tormented him when he did, so I know he'll have some kind of remark in kind.
I miss my family.
But that's not important right now.
You know what is?
I have to actually care about religion now. *sighs and rolls eyes* I have never cared and now, I do. People ask so many questions about religion here. Don't they have anything better to do?
It bothers me that I have to make an effort to investigate the various religions so I can point people in the right direction. I don't mind the effort or even the investigating. I mind the topic. I have never found much use for that topic.
This was one of the things in my head last night. You know what? My brain said I should ask my brother why he turned to religion after all these years. I want to know. I need to know. But I'm not brave enough to ask. Why? Because I'm afraid it'll make such perfect sense and I'll start believing in something that . . .
Enough, Anne. You need to get back to work.