FIC: Slow Burn
Title: Slow Burn
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Pairing: Sam/Janet (with a little Jack/Sam and Cassie/Daniel if you wanna see it)
Summary: The courtship of Sam and Janet, as told by everyone because they haven’t worked it out yet.
Author’s Note: Inspired by the idea that Cassandra has two mommies in ‘Rite of Passage’. Just because they act like it... Canon up until that point (because that’s as far as I’ve gotten in the series thus far!) and then we deviate somewhat.
1;Cassandra (12)
Cassandra has two mommies now.
It’s nothing anyone has to explain to her, nothing she doesn’t understand or thinks is wrong or different. No, she didn’t have two mothers before, but she’s learned to adapt. Two kisses per scraped knee, two hugs goodbye on her first day of school, two sets of presents on her birthday. It’s hardly a rough transition.
But there’s one thing she can’t quite figure out. She can’t figure out why Sam leaves, why she goes at night and returns in the morning. Why, for all intents and purposes, she lives there but... doesn’t.
They’re curled up one night when she finally works it out. Sam has her feet in Janet’s lap as she lounges across the sofa and Cassandra is sat on the floor, leaning against Janet’s shins. They're watching E.T., a film Cassandra has become very fond of, and eating popcorn when Sam checks her watch and says, “Is that the time? I should probably...”
“Stay,” Janet requests, with a smile. “You’re welcome to stay. Cassie will be going to bed at nine and then we can talk.”
Half up off of the sofa, Sam nods and settles back down. “Okay.”
Cassie turns back to the film. E.T. announces he’ll be right here. They sit quietly and Sam eats the last few pieces of corn. Janet eyes her, as though she wants to say something. The credits roll. Janet checks her watch. “Time for bed,” she says, with a smile. She climbs off the sofa and Cassie sees Sam’s disappointed face when she has to remove her feet from the doctor’s lap. “I’ll come and tuck you in.”
Cassie casts her eyes onto Sam, who smiles and nods, understanding immediately what she wants. “I’ll come and give you a kiss once I’ve done this.”
Cassandra smiles and lets Janet lead her from the room. She looks back in time to see Sam already reaching for the VCR to eject the tape and picking up the bowl to take into the kitchen.
She’s in bed, holding Mr Piggles, by the time Sam comes in. Janet’s just pressed a goodnight kiss to her forehead when Sam appears in the doorway. She smiles and opens her arms and the two women pass each other as Sam comes to deliver the much needed hug.
Cassie hugs her for a long moment and then, when she feels she can sleep, releases her. Sam kisses her softly, bids her goodnight and moves across to the doorway, where she pauses. Janet is already moving off down the stairs and as the door swings to - but not shut - Cassie hears her say, “I have some red wine,” and Sam laughs behind her.
It hits her then, a dawning realisation as to just why Sam doesn’t stay, why she doesn’t sleep in the same bed as her other mother, why she doesn’t see her ruffled in the mornings, reaching for coffee and griping about the day coming up, handing her lunch to her and her school bag and saying, “Have a good day, love.”
They’re not a couple. They’re not parents. They're not mother and father, living in the same house. They're just... not...
And as Cassie creeps back downstairs to find Sam’s head in Janet’s lap as they both drink red wine and laugh together, she can’t help but wonder... why not?
2;Daniel
He’s usually the last to know these things. Not because he isn’t smart, not because he isn’t observant, not because he doesn’t care (which he does, he’d like it to be known; after all, they’re his friends and they matter to him) but because when it comes to human relationships and behaviours, if they haven’t been dead a few thousand years (at least!) he can’t really see beyond the end of his nose.
He gets relationships - he does! - after all, he’s had a few, but he’s never been like Jack, who can sniff an ex-lover out at a hundred yards - something he’s proved time and again - and can taste sexual tension in the air.
But this time he gets what Jack sees.
It’s Cassie’s thirteenth birthday and there’s cake. He’s just filling his face with a slice whilst boring Teal’c senseless about his latest archaeological discovery on P3X-348 and how he’s finally going to prove that... “Daniel Jackson.”
“Yes, Teal’c?”
“I believe you require more cake.” Teal’c abandons him on the pretence of him getting more cake. He never gets more cake. But that’s okay, because that’s when he notices it.
Sam and Janet.
They’re stood either side of Cassie, laughing as she plays with her balloon (a big silver helium one, displaying her age surrounded by stars) and then, when she runs off with it, they straighten up and start to talk, softly. Janet touches Sam’s shoulder. Sam leans in and laughs, gently. She catches Janet’s hand, whispers something in her ear. Janet laughs this time.
Daniel puts the plate down, wipes his mouth on the napkin and stares. Why didn’t he know about this?
It’s so obvious, even to him.
He stands up and wanders across to Jack. “Jack.”
“Daniel?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jack raises an eyebrow and Daniel can see him mentally cataloguing all the things he hasn’t told Daniel recently. Sensing this could take a while, Daniel interrupts with, “Those two.”
Jack follows his gaze. “Huh?”
“Sam and Janet...”
Jack blinks slowly at him. “How much cake have you had? Did someone spike the punch? You didn’t bring something back from P3X-boring-as-heck did you?”
Daniel gives him his best scowl and resists the urge to point out it’s a kid’s party so there’s no spiked punch. He’s about to explain what he means when he realises that it’s probably against regulations. They’re doctor and patient, after all. Sam and Janet shouldn’t be... doing whatever they’re doing and if Jack admits it, he’d probably have to report it.
“Daniel?”
“Sorry. I... uh...” He watches them across the garden. “I think I had too much... cake.”
“Ya think?”
Daniel watches them for another couple of moments before drifting away. Jack barely even notices.
3;Jacob
Jacob meets Cassandra one sunny summer Saturday at Sam’s house. It was prearranged, except she forgot, and when Janet and Cassandra turn up on the doorstep, Sam is flustered, but invites them in.
“Who’s this?” Jacob says, with a smile. Cassandra baulks, so Sam quickly explains that Jacob - and Selmak - are Tok’ra, not Goa’uld and that she has nothing to be afraid of. When she says he’s her father, however, Cassandra’s immediate reaction sends Samantha flailing.
“So, you’re my grandfather?”
It’s an innocent question from a girl with two mothers, but it catches Jacob off-guard and he laughs and says, “Only if there’s something Sammy’s not told me.” Selmak quietly mocks him and he tells her to be quiet.
“You haven’t told him about me, Sam?” Cassandra says, quietly.
“I was getting to that.” Sam turns to Jacob. “Cassandra was the lone survivor of a Goa’uld massacre, dad. It’s a long story, but to cut it short...”
“...we adopted her,” Janet finishes her sentence with.
Jacob looks at Sam, who, for a second, seems to glow at that, but then the Earth starts rotating again beneath her feet and she catches her father’s eye. “We share parental responsibility.”
When he doesn’t move, Selmak gently prods him with a note of, “Say something, Jacob.” So, Jacob turns to Cassandra and smiles.
“I guess I’m a grandfather again, then,” he says. She smiles back. Selmak asks, “Do I have to manage your life for you now?” He hushes her.
It’s once they’re outside, Cassandra and Janet inside doing keeping-out-of-the-way-things, and nursing a beer each that Jacob turns to Sam and voices his thoughts, “So... Cassandra.” Okay, one thought. It’s a good start, considering. “And Janet.”
“Yeah...” Sam nods and smiles. “I was going to tell you, dad, I swear. It’s just... everything happened so fast and then there was your cancer and the Tok’ra and the Goa’uld... I just never found the time.”
Jacob nods back and sips his beer. “As long as you’re happy,” he says. “Although, I would have liked to have found out in a more controlled setting.”
Sam laughs. “Sorry dad.”
“Not that I have anything against it, mind. I’m just saying.”
Sam pauses and look at him. “Against what?”
“You and Janet.”
There’s a moment - a long and very silent moment, especially inside his head - and then he sees Sam is staring at him. “What?” he says. “I don’t mind, Sammy. If she’s what makes you happy then I don’t mind.” He starts to wonder if he’s got the wrong end of the stick.
“No, dad, I’m not... we’re not.” Sam flaps her hands a little and shakes her head. “We’re just raising Cassandra together. We’re not... like that. We’re friends.”
“You completely missed the stick,” Selmak informs him. “And you grabbed a pigeon instead.”
He’s still chucking at Selmak when he says, “Sorry, Sammy.”
It’s funny, though, he thinks, when Cassandra joins them and shares Sam’s seat with her, and Janet comes to rest by her feet on the wicker footstool, because it doesn’t matter what Sam says... he doesn’t believe that they’re not in love, not lovers or not parents (rather than separate mothers), not... ‘Not’.
“She said they’re not,” Selmak reminds him, quietly, keeping her voice low even though he’s the only one who can hear.
“I know,” he replies, “but I know my daughter better than you do.”
Selmak concedes that point, and recedes into silence.
4;Jack
Despite Daniel’s beliefs as to Jack’s ability to sniff out any kind of sexual tension, activity or desire at a hundred metres - or yards... whichever - Jack notices it slowly, over time.
It’s probably because it starts slow with a touch across the table between the two that’s just a tiniest bit out of place, a lingering glance and Sam’s casual, “I’ll come over tonight,” that isn’t even a question, just a given because Janet wouldn’t say no.
Jack doesn’t notice it at first, because why would he? But he starts when Sam starts mentioning her more.
“Cassandra saw E.T. for the first time Wednesday,” becomes, “Janet and I watched Pocahontas with Cassandra last night.”
“I’ll take these readings home with me tonight and see if I can’t figure them out,” becomes, “I’ll run these by Janet later when I’m there helping Cassie with her trig homework, I’m sure we’ll work them out together.”
And the most obvious. “Call me if you need me, sir, I’ll be home all night,” slowly but surely becomes, “If you need me, I’ll be at Janet’s.”
“You stayed over, Carter?” he enquires, one day.
Sam looks up. “Yes, sir, why?”
“Just curious.” He picks at a knot in the wood of the side of the desk. “You’ve been doin’ that a lot lately.”
“I have? Cassie’s been ill and she likes me there. It’s nice to have company.” She goes back to her work and Jack lets it go with due grace and aplomb with his dignity intact. Until it starts to affect him.
“So, how’s about it, Carter? You, me, the great outdoors and a lake with no fish. Whaddaya say?”
Carter looks up and Jack has déjà vu. Again. “Oh, I can’t, sir, I’m sorry.” Not even a moment of consideration. “Janet and I are chaperoning Cassie’s school trip this week. I promised her.”
“Who?”
“Sir?”
“Promised who?”
“Janet, why?”
“Just wondering.”
“Do you have a problem with this, sir?” There’s no malice, just a genuine question, but it gets his hackles up nonetheless.
“No, Carter, I just wondered why you spend all your time with them. It’s just one fishing trip.”
“They’re my family, sir.”
And there it is. You’re not, even though SG-1 is supposed to be family. Teal’c and Daniel... they’re his brothers. Carter’s the pretty cousin he’d secretly like to...
“Sir?”
“Yeah, Carter, I heard you.” He turns away and sighs. “Offer’s open if you get interested.”
“I won’t sir, but thank you anyway.”
He doesn’t quite retreat with his dignity unharmed this time, but the shreds that remain he manages to pull together long enough to curse Daniel for not being more explicit.
And how did he notice first, anyway?! That never happens.
5;Harriman
Walter doesn’t care.
You can’t work in a relatively safe job in the SGC and almost die on a regular basis and not take a moment to assess your priorities.
Priorities such as family - parents, siblings, cousins, even that great aunt who smells like fries - friends, the girl who works in the computer room that he’d kinda like to see become Mrs Harriman if he ever gets the chance, staying alive, loyalty, trust, discretion... the things that, for the most part, seem small and the kind of things you forget really matter and exist. The things that matter when you’re him, working for the SGC.
He’s mulling these priorities over one day when he comes to a halt in the corridor, having landed on the last one - discretion - and paused for thought. He looks up in time to see Major Carter and Doctor Frasier in an alcove - or it might be a storage closet, he’s not sure and not paying much attention to the scenery to be honest - doing what he can only describe as touching each other up.
He can’t quite see - and he’s disinclined to go out of his way to voyeuristically spy on Major Carter or Doctor Frasier - but he can see their heads tilted together and the way their hands move, their body language screaming the words more than friends like a battle cry.
After a moment, they fall apart. Doctor Frasier heads off down the corridor without even a backward glance and Major Carter turns and sees Walter stood there. “Sergeant,” she says. She eyes him for a moment and then enquires, “Are you okay?”
He nods. “Yes, thank you, Major,” he says. “I was just...” and he rambles for a moment, justifying his presence in the corridor, as though it were some major felony. Major Carter doesn’t seem to really care. She nods along and accepts what he’s saying at face value, then informs him she was just discussing the recent Stargate activity with Doctor Frasier.
Excuses. He gets flustered for a moment before saying, “Major Carter, I really must get these to General Hammond, but... just so you know... I won’t tell anyone.”
Major Carter looks confused. “Sergeant?”
“About...” He nods towards the alcove. “Excuse me.” He moves off and when he looks back at Major Carter, she looks as relaxed, casual and uncaring as ever, despite the fact he could tell the general on her and possibly get her into a lot of trouble.
But he won’t.
Since, after all, when it comes down to it... he doesn’t care either. There are more important things in life than telling tales.
6;Cassandra (16)
She’s about sixteen when she realises that Daniel Jackson is very attractive and starts making excuses to see him. She gets involved in linguistics and he - and General Hammond - agree to let her help with the translation of alien languages. She learns a lot in her time on the base. For example, Daniel’s nose wrinkles in a very cute way when he’s frustrated - something Jack causes him to be a lot, for no apparent reason - and he takes his glasses off when he wants to ignore something.
And oh, god, the glasses.
Cassandra didn’t realise until recently that she really likes glasses. Especially Daniel’s geek glasses.
So, that’s how Cassie ends up sat in his office trying to translate a piece for Daniel when she hears familiar voices. She turns and listens.
“She’s doing really well, Daniel says.” Sam’s voice. Close.
“Good. I’m so glad. I was worried she was only doing it to be near him.” Janet. Mom. “You know she has a crush, right?”
Sam chuckles. “I’d noticed.”
Her cheeks burn and she dips her head down, determinedly not listening.
“We’ve done well, you and me,” her mom says, quietly. She lifts her head.
The tone of Sam’s voice conveys the shake of her head. “I hardly did anything. I’m more of an aunt than...”
“Sam.” Cassie knows that tone. Last time she heard it she bust open the front door to find her mom at the tail end of a date about to lean in for a kiss. Of course, she vehemently denied it was a date, but Cassie knew better. And she saw what Janet couldn’t see, the blonde hair, the militaristic pose, the... “We both raised her.”
The small part of Cassie that still occasionally slips and says, “Mommy,” when she’s sick, appeals that they’re not done raising her quite yet, whilst the rest of her whines and says she did most of it herself, thank you very much.
Sam is blushing, she recognises that tone, too, as she says, “We did?”
“We did. I couldn’t have done it without you, Sam, and she wouldn’t have had as rounded an upbringing without you.”
She creeps towards the door, the stone tablet she’s translating still in her hands, and peeks. Mom’s hand slips into Sam’s and the twelve year old inside Cassie whispers, “Parents.”
Something beeps in Daniel’s office and Cassandra squeaks and drops the tablet. Bits break apart and she silently bemoans that he’s going to kill her. Or worse, take off his glasses.
“Cassie? What are you doing?” She’s not touching Sam anymore. Damn, damn, damn...
“N-Nothing, I w-was... I heard voices, I thought it was you. I wanted to show... and then the beep and I jumped and...”
“Were you eavesdropping?” Janet walks across and eyes her. “What did you hear?”
Cassie smiles. “Only good things.”
7;General Hammond
General Hammond tries to keep his nose out of his personnel’s personal lives. Not because he wouldn’t secretly like to know that they’re happy, but because if he found out they were happy with each other he’d have to report it, thus ruining the happiness and giving him nothing to put his nose into in the first place.
It’d be a viscous cycle and he isn’t interested in beginning it.
Which is why it comes as a surprise to him to see Janet’s wracked expression when Major Carter comes back from a mission badly injured and Janet can’t get to her due to some kind of contamination that can’t - for the sake of the SGC and the world - be let beyond the Gate Room.
“General, I have to get in there.”
He’s seen her worrying about a patient before - Jack, Teal’c, Daniel, more times than he’d like to count, SG-3, SG-11... you name it, she’s worried - but there’s something more in her eyes this time as she stares through the window as they try to decontaminate the area.
“I can’t allow that, Doctor. If you go in there you could be infected, too. I’m sorry.”
Janet puts her hands on her hips and tries to keep calm, but he can see her falling apart.
“Doctor Frasier, is there something you’d like to tell me?”
Janet shakes her head. “No, sir.” She walks to the window. “I just don’t want Major Carter to die because I’m being kept away.”
“Doctor Frasier...?”
She looks up at him and there are tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, General. I’m letting my personal feelings getting the better of me, it’s just... She’s my best friend.”
For the first time since he met the doctor stood before him, General Hammond is hit with the sense that she’s telling a blatant lie. But when he looks at her it becomes apparent, to him at least, that she doesn’t know she’s lying. It causes an uncomfortable flashback to the za’tarc incident a few years prior.
“We’re doing the best we can, Doctor,” he says, and wishes he could make them go faster.
8;Teal’c
Teal’c has seen that look once before, upon the face of Shan’Auc when she looked upon him and felt the love they never before got to taste.
He can see it again, now, not turned upon him but instead upon Doctor Frasier, whose eyes mimic the exact same expression.
“Major Carter seems to care deeply for Doctor Frasier,” he states.
“Tell me about it,” Jack mutters from beside him. They’re sat on a bed, waiting for their physical whilst Janet looks after Sam, the two of them almost giggling together.
“You know of this, O’Neill?”
Daniel shrugs from beside Jack. “We don’t so much ‘know’ as definitely... suspect.”
“Yeah, I know of this.” Jack gives Daniel a withering look.
“They are lovers?”
“Yep.” Jack fiddles with his sleeves.
“I’m not so sure.”
Jack looks towards Daniel. “Oh, c’mon, you’re not blind! You saw before I did!”
Daniel shakes his head, slowly. “I did, but I’m not convinced they... have.” He gestures towards the two women. Jack stares at him.
“This is very puzzling, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c says.
“You can say that again, Teal’c.” Jack turns back to Daniel. “What are you talking about?”
Finger against his lower lip, Daniel says, “Well, they, uh, whenever you mention one to the other, they don’t... get flustered... at all. If they were having a-a, uh... secret affair, they would deny it, whether it was mentioned directly or not.”
Jack raises an eyebrow. “Oh really? How would you know?”
Daniel shrugs.
“Could this have something to do with... Cassandra?!”
“Jack! No!”
“Oh really? You’re denying it, you know...”
“I’m not having an affair with Cassandra,” Daniel hisses. “Honestly.”
“Mm, you said you deny it though, and that is a curiously specific denial.”
Teal’c raises an eyebrow at the two of them. “O’Neill, is Cassandra not of too young an age for Daniel Jackson?”
“Thank you, Teal’c,” Daniel says, with a sigh.
“That’s why we call it ‘jailbait’,” Jack says, complete with air quotes.
“Jack!” Daniel almost whines. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“I have to do something while I’m waiting for a nurse to stick a needle in my butt.”
“What’re you all talking about?” Sam’s stood in front of them all of a sudden.
“Nothing,” Daniel says, so quickly Sam gets whiplash.
“Nothing,” Jack agrees.
“Curiously specific denials, Major Carter, regarding yourself, Doctor Frasier, Daniel Jackson and Cassandra.”
“What about us?” Sam says.
“All your super-secret love affairs,” Jack says, hopping off the bed.
Sam turns to Daniel. “Do I want to know?”
“Very much not.”
“Okay.” She moves to leave and catches Teal’c looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “Teal’c?”
“You did not deny anything, Major Carter.”
She smiles and shrugs. “What is there to deny?”
Teal’c will never understand humans.
9;Janet
The realisation dawns on Janet one summer night as she’s lying in bed reading a medical text and Sam is dozing beside her.
Too many nights of Sam staying over - for one reason or another - and waking up with a stiff neck, back, arm, leg or other body part lead Janet to, long ago, announce, “Just come and share with me,” and they have been ever since. Sam keeps to the left, Janet keeps to the right and only once have they woken up nose-to-nose and had a strange moment of, “Oh.”
She’s not sure why she’s thinking about that ‘Oh’ moment now, of all times. Sam is fast asleep, breathing gently after a hard mission, having collapsed into bed with Janet and fallen asleep before her head hit the pillow. Janet doesn’t even know why she stayed over tonight; they didn’t watch a movie, they didn’t have work to share, Cassandra wasn’t ill... But she did. She’d navigated to Janet’s on auto-pilot and now here she was.
Janet’s not complaining, she’s really not. In fact, she likes it. She’s never had all that much time to meet someone, to date, to have a relationship last long enough for a warm bed on both sides and it’s not like Sam is bad company - she’s her best friend for a reason - or that she smells bad - in fact, the opposite; Janet could smell her all day and likes the scent she leaves on that side of the bed - or tosses and turns or is bad to look at - Janet could stare at her all day. It’s nice to have the company.
She pauses, backtracks and replays. Best friend; check, but the scent? The staring? Janet closes the medical text and, in the half light of the bedroom, gazes across at her sleeping friend... confidante... partner?
How long has she been in a loving relationship without realising, she wonders. How long since she sighed at the thought of coming back to an empty bed or wished Sam wouldn’t stay over? Has she ever wished that?
She reaches out and gently strokes her fingers through Sam’s soft hair. The blonde moves a bit and mumbles, “Mm... Ja-” in her sleep. Janet’s heart stops. She’s known about the Major and the Colonel’s feelings for one another for a long time, but to be confronted with them at a time like this...
Sam rolls, scoots sleepily towards the doctor and says, still fast asleep, “Don’t take my Janet.”
Janet smiles, bends down and kisses her hair. “No one’s going to take me,” she promises, softly. Then she slides down beneath the mattress, meets Sam’s forehead with her own and, one hand over hers beneath the duvet, lets herself drift off to sleep.
10;Sam
It’s been a long, long day. Two trips to P4X-203, four trade agreements falling through, several attempts to kill her - one resulting in a blast from a zat and a second one Daniel took for her because otherwise she’d be dead - she’d been rendered unconscious, interrogated and then thrown through a Stargate backwards from above, which is something she swore she’d only do once.
And then she’d had to go back for Daniel.
All in all, the day was really bad. The kind of bad that needs a bad movie and a glass of wine. Or a beer. Or possibly just sleep.
She drives past her house before she really thinks it through and then it dawns on her that she’s on her way to Janet’s. She doesn’t even wonder if maybe Janet wouldn’t want her there, that maybe she has plans or is just sick of her. Of course not; Janet’s home is always open to her, that’s been stated a few times now, both by Janet herself and Cassandra, whose only reason for not calling Sam ‘mom’ also is Sam’s own request.
Sam checks her face in the rear-view mirror. She looks tired, drained, and her blonde hair seems to be losing its shine. Stress. Aliens. Jaffa. Goa’uld. Daniel. It all takes its toll.
She climbs out of the car, jacket slung over her shoulder, when she arrives at Janet’s and goes straight for the front door, inserting her key and twisting it in the lock. The lights in the house are all off - after all, it’s half eleven, they’re probably both in bed, Janet’s day off and all - and Sam walks in quietly, careful not to let it bang behind her. She decides to go straight into the kitchen, grab something to eat then go to bed.
She never gets that far.
She steps into the kitchen to find the table laid, Janet stood over it lighting the final of the candles sat in the middle. It’s a gorgeous spread: red tablecloth, chairs opposite each other, three candles in a triangle around a rose in a vase (Sam mentally assesses the fire hazard before trusting Janet’s judgement) and a few dishes of vegetables.
Janet straightens up as the hand holding Sam’s jacket falls to her side. “I thought you’d be hungry,” she says, pleasantly. “Colonel O’Neill told me what a rough day you’ve all had.”
Colonel O’Neill? Janet hasn’t been in all day... Since when do they talk on the phone? Or outside of the base without Sam at all? Sam doesn’t reply, still staring at the table and the flickering candles. Janet steps swiftly past her and retrieves the food from the oven; a lasagne. Lasagne. Sam loves lasagne. She’s expressed this feeling to Janet on quite a few occasions and is she wearing a skirt?
She eyes Janet for a moment before snapping out of it and saying, “You know just what I need,” with a happy, contented sigh.
Janet shoots her a smile. “Sit down, I’ll bring it over.” She’s already serving it up onto plates and whereas Sam would usually insist on helping in some manner, tonight she’s too tired, so she walks across and drops into the chair, letting her coat land on the floor beside her to pick up after the food.
All her limbs feel heavy. Too heavy. She yawns. “General Hammond has declared P4X-203 as off limits,” she says. “Too much risk in ever going back there, even if they do have shield technology.”
“How’s Daniel?” Janet places a plate down in front of Sam and she can smell the scent of Janet’s excellent lasagne.
“He’s recovering,” Sam says as Janet serves her some vegetables; beans and peas. Again, she’d usually argue, say she’s not a kid and can serve herself, but there’s something in Janet’s manner, the candles, and the inability to lift her arms past her second rib that stops her. “He reckons he’ll be out of the infirmary by tomorrow but I think it’ll be a couple of days.”
Janet sits down opposite her and lifts her fork, which Sam takes as a cue to start eating. Which she does. The first mouthful is like an orgasm. Something she hasn’t had in a really long time, in case you’re wondering. She sighs at her own celibacy and reaches for the glass of wine to take a sip. “Janet, this is delicious.”
Janet smiles. “Thanks, Sam.” She takes a bite, but seems to be drawing more pleasure from watching Sam savour every mouthful. “I made key lime pie for dessert, but if you’re full it’ll keep for tomorrow.”
Every part of Sam’s brain screams food and begs her to eat faster. She grins. “Tomorrow is too far away.”
Janet chuckles. “Okay then.”
They eat quietly at first, Sam barely able to keep her eyes open and Janet watching her from across the table, and then she tells Janet about the mission that exhausted her so much. Talking makes her even more tired, and the lasagne only succeeds in drawing attention to that fact. “And that’s when I dropped through the gate.”
“From above?” Janet forgot her lasagne about five minutes back, but Sam isn’t complaining; she likes being the centre of Janet’s attention.
She shrugs. “I was wearing protective gear this time,” she says, “so it wasn’t as bad.” She moves her neck, which twinges a bit as a reminder that it wasn’t as bad but certainly wasn’t good. “However, this was when I realised Daniel was still on the planet. After his customary, ‘The things he gets into!’ face, Colonel O’Neill went back with me and Teal’c to fetch him. We found him bound and naked in a pig sty.”
Janet raises an eyebrow. “When you say naked...”
“I mean with everything on display.” Sam nods. “It’s been one of those days in which clothes are optional.”
“I hope so,” Janet mutters. Sam has already said, “Huh?” before what Janet said finally computes.
“I said it sounds it,” Janet says. Which was not what she said originally.
Sam is too tired for this. She sets her cutlery down, leans back in her seat with her glass of wine and, after a cursory glance at her empty plate to make sure she left not even a crumb behind, says, “Thanks for the meal. It was delicious.” She thinks she’s already expressed this sentiment, but it never hurts to do it twice.
Janet smiles at her. “You’re welcome.”
She props her elbow up on the back of the chair, rests the hand with the wine glass on her knee and gazes at Janet. “What’s the occasion?”
Janet quirks an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. Candles, rose, wine... no lights on, greeting me with food. Did I forget my own birthday?” She mentally adds ‘again’ to the end of her sentence.
Her friend laughs. “No, Sam, nothing like that.”
“Well, what then?” Sam leans back. Her eyelids are heavy. She yawns and catches Janet’s fond look. “Really, Janet, what?”
Janet stands up and picks up the two plates, stacking them and walking towards the dishwasher. “Have you looked at the calendar? This day, years ago, was the day we decided we were raising Cassandra. The day she moved in with me.” She places the plates in the dishwasher. “I was kind of thinking... it makes it our anniversary, don’t you think?”
No reply. She stands up. “Sam?”
Sam is asleep with her head on the table. Janet smiles, softly, and walks across to blow out the candles.
*
Sam wakes up in bed next to Janet, as always. She yawns and looks at the clock on the bedside table; four in the morning and she’s still feeling exhausted and drained. Her eyes wander, in the half light, up to the photo frame - a new addition that very day - sat behind it, containing a photo.
She yawns a bit more and props her head up on her hand to look at it. The photo is of Sam and Janet, posing and laughing together like complete idiots at Cassandra’s thirteenth birthday party. They look comfortable together, Janet laughing into Sam’s shoulder, Sam’s one hand on her shoulder, her other dancing on her hip.
That was a good day, Sam muses, quietly. Friends, family, cake and no alien invasions. She reaches out and touches Janet’s face on the photograph. She looks happier than she looked before Cassandra. Sam can barely even remember her before Cassandra, in fact. She was lonely. She was alone. Now she has a family.
She drifts back to sleep with the thought of family on her mind.
*
“Hey Sam.” Her dad kisses her on the cheek and they walk down the ramp from the Stargate together. “How are you doing?”
She smiles. “I’m doing well, dad. Although I have a feeling whatever news you’re going to bring is going to put a damper on that.”
Jacob laughs. “Not this time; only good news from the Tok’ra front. How are your family?”
Sam doesn’t even pause for thought, answering immediately with, “Cassandra got an A in maths and Janet’s fine.” It doesn’t strike her as odd, but when her father chuckles she gives him a puzzled look. “What?”
“Nothing,” he says.
“No, what?”
Jacob shakes his head. “Just something Selmak said.”
Sam will never get used to that, she thinks, a whole other person living in her dad’s body.
*
The world is fading in and out, bright lights and dark spots across her eyes. Nothing is in focus and she can’t make her eyes stay in one place. She’s in someone’s strong arms and when she somehow moves her eyes she sees the dark skin of Teal’c’s upper arm next to her head.
“M’okay,” she murmurs, even though it’s a blatant lie. Everything goes hot, then cold, then hot again and Teal’c’s footsteps turn into the sound of boots on the ramp in the SGC. Home. Safe.
Teal’c is saying something, his voice fading in and out much like the world. “...staff... jaffa... injured... Daniel... blood...” Aw, god, she got killed again, didn’t she?
No, that’s not right. If she was dead, this wouldn’t hurt so much and she’d... be dead. Logic, right there, Carter, she thinks. Focus on the logic.
“Sam?”
Anyway, it’s Daniel who’s always dying, not her. She’s only done it twice.
“Sam, can you hear me?”
Twice? Or once? She’s not sure. Everything is blurring together. Why is she thinking of death and that bright light is awful close...
“Sam? She’s going into arrest! Defib-”
Everything goes away and Sam clings to the voice echoing through her ears.
Janet. Her Janet. Her beautiful Janet. Janet who she...
Who she...
She...
*
“Sam!”
Eyes heavy, chest hurts, legs ache. Why does she hurt so much? What time is it? Has she got to get to... Eyes open properly. Oh. Infirmary. Oh, not again. Infirmary for her. Someone’s sat on the bed, leaning against her legs. It’s Janet.
Janet.
Janet.
Oh.
Blearily blinking and dazedly trying to sit up but Janet pushes her down, gently. “Sam, don’t try to sit up, yet. Do you remember what happened?”
Of course she remembers what happened. Janet panicked. She heard it in her voice, just for a split second, and Sam had this thought in her head about Janet that... it faded. Why did it fade? It shouldn’t have faded, she wanted to know where it was going. But maybe she did and she just didn’t follow it and... “I... Teal’c shouted... Colonel O’Neill took Daniel down and I got hit with... staff weapon.” She groans, which hurts her chest. “Was it bad?”
“You’ve been out for four days,” Janet says. Her lips are pursed and she’s watching her with this intense look in her eyes, the kind that startles Sam for a moment. She groans a bit in pain and Janet leans over her to give her more painkillers. “I’m giving you something for the pain,” she says, by way of explanation. “You were in bad shape when you came in. You’re going to have to stay a while.”
Sam nods quietly. “S’long as you’re here,” she says, as she feels the effect kick in, lulling her back to sleep. “D’leave me.”
The last thing she feels as she slips into blessed unconsciousness is Janet’s hand slipping into hers as she says, quietly, “I won’t leave you, Sam. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
*
When Janet said ‘a while’, Sam thought she meant a few days, not two weeks. But it’s given her chance to try to recapture her last thought before she went into cardiac arrest. Unfortunately, so far, she’s come up blank. She still has no idea what her thought was trailing off into.
“Are you ready to go home, Sam?” Janet is there, smiling at her, so she smiles back.
“Yep.” She gestures at the bag of stuff Janet brought her.
“Want a lift home?”
Her heart sinks so fast she thinks it’s attached to a ton weight, and she’s not sure why. “Oh. I was...” She swallows. “Can’t I stay with you? I don’t feel safe in an empty home. Still a bit wobbly.” Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. Did she mention that was a lie?
Janet smiles. “Sam, that’s what I meant.”
Heart in sky now. Soaring. She still doesn’t know why.
*
Janet opens the door for her and she walks in, muttering about not being an invalid. Janet gives her the look that says, “You are until I say you’re not,” and Sam concedes the point. After all, Janet is her doctor.
She leads her through to the kitchen, after she mentioned her thirst in the car, and offers Sam a bottle of water from the fridge, which she gratefully accepts. Her eyes land on the table; candles that aren’t there flicker and she’s hit with the sudden feeling that she’s missing something huge.
“Come on, you should go to bed,” Janet says. She leads her up the stairs and Sam follows, paying attention to her surroundings, rather than where she’s going. There are three of her pairs of military boots and a couple of pairs of actual shoes under the stairs. Her sweater has been discarded, lazily, over the banister, next to Cassandra’s coat. Her old CD player is on the floor by the front door.
Of course Janet meant here when she said ‘home’. Sam lives her. Why didn’t she notice this before?
She follows Janet all the way up into the bedroom and her eyes land on the photograph on the bedside table.
“Sam?”
“Sam, can you hear me?”
“Sam? She’s going into arrest! Defib-”
Janet. Her Janet. Her beautiful Janet. Janet who she...
Who she...
She...
Who she loves.
“Oh, fuck me,” Sam whispers. She’s in love with Janet, who gives her a surprised look.
“Did you just ask me to fuck you?”
Sam blushes. She actually blushes. “No, I was just swearing. I’m sore. Wound.” Her ability to talk like a human being has been left by the roadside, apparently. She points at herself and Janet smirks a little. Crap, she’s onto her.
God, she wants her on her.
Sam sighs, groans a little and walks across to the bed, but Janet intercepts. “You’re not climbing into bed wearing that,” she says. “And you know it.”
She does. They’ve had this argument before. Has Janet always just wanted her to sleep naked? She wants to sleep naked tonight. She’s not sure that’s even a good idea but she doesn’t have the energy to find pyjamas. So, instead, she somehow manages to find the energy to shrug off her pants and toe off her boots.
“Let me.” Janet’s hands slip around her chest from behind, snaking underneath her arms and unbuttoning her shirt, slowly. Fuck. Definitely onto her. Her fingers brush her skin as she works the shirt off and Sam shivers involuntarily. “You’re cold, get into bed.”
Sam obliges, slipping beneath the covers in her underwear. She doesn’t hide, though, keeping her arms on the top of the duvet. Janet seems to waver, as though considering going back downstairs, but something in Sam’s eyes obviously draws her back to, instead, pull off her clothes stood in the middle of the bedroom and reach for her nighty.
Sam spends the whole time staring at her getting naked and wondering how she missed this. How she managed to not notice how beautiful, how gorgeous, how attractive, how sexy Janet is. Her eyes wander down the smooth skin of her back - peppered with a few moles she’d just love to run the tip of her tongue over - and down to her ass, which is in the air as she reaches into the bottom drawer of her dresser for her nighty.
God, that’s a nice ass.
She turns and sees Sam looking. She’s not quick enough to look away and Janet gives her a knowing look. Just like that, Sam knows. She knows that Janet knows. And that Janet knows Sam knows.
Janet slides into bed beside her wearing nothing but a fuchsia satin nighty with black lace trimmings. Now Sam is convinced she’s doing it deliberately.
...or she would be, if that wasn’t what Janet always wore to bed.
Sam rolls onto her back, arms folded across the duvet, and looks up at the ceiling. She can feel Janet’s eyes fixed on her head, obviously waiting for her to say something.
Sam’s cue. She just needs to take it.
“How long have we been in a relationship without me knowing?” she asks, quietly, wondering how she can be smart and yet miss something so obvious.
Janet chuckles a little from beside her. “I’d say from the moment we took Cassandra in.”
Sam nods and looks up at the ceiling. “Cassie knew,” she says.
“Sam,” Janet says, patiently. “Everyone knew before us.”
“Everyone?”
“Everyone. Even Daniel.”
“Daniel?!” Now she really feels naïve. She slinks a little more under the duvet and grumbles something about needing relationship glasses and maybe borrowing Daniel’s.
Janet’s face appears beside her own, resting on her pillow, staring at her. Sam rolls over to meet her, ignoring the twinge of pain through her chest... stomach... actually, most of her body above the waist. “I think I cheated on you,” she states, solemnly and completely seriously. She pauses. “More than once.”
“I cheated on you too,” Janet states. “Well, I tried.”
“You tried?”
“Not tried to cheat. Tried to date. It didn’t work out.”
“Was he not Air Force enough for you?” Sam jokes.
“She wasn’t Sam enough for me.” Janet gets a little closer, her nose almost brushing Sam’s.
“Oh,” Sam says, in a tiny voice. She didn’t know that about Janet. Why did she never know that? She never asked. It never came up... because she knew it didn’t matter. Janet is hers.
“You’re mine, anyway,” she says, quietly.
Janet gives her an amused look and smiles. “Yes,” she says, “I am.”
Sam reaches out and gently skims her fingertips down Janet’s arm, watching the hairs stand up in their wake. Her skin is smooth, creamy and soft. She wants to kiss it and touch it but the idea of moving. “We’ve wasted years,” she says, quietly.
Janet shakes her head. “No, we haven’t,” she says. “We were together, that’s what matters.”
Sam’s eyes widen. “You were going to seduce me!”
“When?”
“Lasagne? Wine?”
“You fell asleep.”
“I ruined the evening.”
Janet smiles. “It’s okay,” she says. “You didn’t want to anyway.”
“I want to now...” Sam says. “But I’m so...”
Janet reaches out, pulls her into her arms, allowing Sam to turn around and sink into the embrace. “It’s okay,” she says, quietly. “You’re not recovered yet, and we have all the time in the world.”
Sam sighs, happily. “Yeah,” she agrees. “We do.”
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Pairing: Sam/Janet (with a little Jack/Sam and Cassie/Daniel if you wanna see it)
Summary: The courtship of Sam and Janet, as told by everyone because they haven’t worked it out yet.
Author’s Note: Inspired by the idea that Cassandra has two mommies in ‘Rite of Passage’. Just because they act like it... Canon up until that point (because that’s as far as I’ve gotten in the series thus far!) and then we deviate somewhat.
1;Cassandra (12)
Cassandra has two mommies now.
It’s nothing anyone has to explain to her, nothing she doesn’t understand or thinks is wrong or different. No, she didn’t have two mothers before, but she’s learned to adapt. Two kisses per scraped knee, two hugs goodbye on her first day of school, two sets of presents on her birthday. It’s hardly a rough transition.
But there’s one thing she can’t quite figure out. She can’t figure out why Sam leaves, why she goes at night and returns in the morning. Why, for all intents and purposes, she lives there but... doesn’t.
They’re curled up one night when she finally works it out. Sam has her feet in Janet’s lap as she lounges across the sofa and Cassandra is sat on the floor, leaning against Janet’s shins. They're watching E.T., a film Cassandra has become very fond of, and eating popcorn when Sam checks her watch and says, “Is that the time? I should probably...”
“Stay,” Janet requests, with a smile. “You’re welcome to stay. Cassie will be going to bed at nine and then we can talk.”
Half up off of the sofa, Sam nods and settles back down. “Okay.”
Cassie turns back to the film. E.T. announces he’ll be right here. They sit quietly and Sam eats the last few pieces of corn. Janet eyes her, as though she wants to say something. The credits roll. Janet checks her watch. “Time for bed,” she says, with a smile. She climbs off the sofa and Cassie sees Sam’s disappointed face when she has to remove her feet from the doctor’s lap. “I’ll come and tuck you in.”
Cassie casts her eyes onto Sam, who smiles and nods, understanding immediately what she wants. “I’ll come and give you a kiss once I’ve done this.”
Cassandra smiles and lets Janet lead her from the room. She looks back in time to see Sam already reaching for the VCR to eject the tape and picking up the bowl to take into the kitchen.
She’s in bed, holding Mr Piggles, by the time Sam comes in. Janet’s just pressed a goodnight kiss to her forehead when Sam appears in the doorway. She smiles and opens her arms and the two women pass each other as Sam comes to deliver the much needed hug.
Cassie hugs her for a long moment and then, when she feels she can sleep, releases her. Sam kisses her softly, bids her goodnight and moves across to the doorway, where she pauses. Janet is already moving off down the stairs and as the door swings to - but not shut - Cassie hears her say, “I have some red wine,” and Sam laughs behind her.
It hits her then, a dawning realisation as to just why Sam doesn’t stay, why she doesn’t sleep in the same bed as her other mother, why she doesn’t see her ruffled in the mornings, reaching for coffee and griping about the day coming up, handing her lunch to her and her school bag and saying, “Have a good day, love.”
They’re not a couple. They’re not parents. They're not mother and father, living in the same house. They're just... not...
And as Cassie creeps back downstairs to find Sam’s head in Janet’s lap as they both drink red wine and laugh together, she can’t help but wonder... why not?
2;Daniel
He’s usually the last to know these things. Not because he isn’t smart, not because he isn’t observant, not because he doesn’t care (which he does, he’d like it to be known; after all, they’re his friends and they matter to him) but because when it comes to human relationships and behaviours, if they haven’t been dead a few thousand years (at least!) he can’t really see beyond the end of his nose.
He gets relationships - he does! - after all, he’s had a few, but he’s never been like Jack, who can sniff an ex-lover out at a hundred yards - something he’s proved time and again - and can taste sexual tension in the air.
But this time he gets what Jack sees.
It’s Cassie’s thirteenth birthday and there’s cake. He’s just filling his face with a slice whilst boring Teal’c senseless about his latest archaeological discovery on P3X-348 and how he’s finally going to prove that... “Daniel Jackson.”
“Yes, Teal’c?”
“I believe you require more cake.” Teal’c abandons him on the pretence of him getting more cake. He never gets more cake. But that’s okay, because that’s when he notices it.
Sam and Janet.
They’re stood either side of Cassie, laughing as she plays with her balloon (a big silver helium one, displaying her age surrounded by stars) and then, when she runs off with it, they straighten up and start to talk, softly. Janet touches Sam’s shoulder. Sam leans in and laughs, gently. She catches Janet’s hand, whispers something in her ear. Janet laughs this time.
Daniel puts the plate down, wipes his mouth on the napkin and stares. Why didn’t he know about this?
It’s so obvious, even to him.
He stands up and wanders across to Jack. “Jack.”
“Daniel?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jack raises an eyebrow and Daniel can see him mentally cataloguing all the things he hasn’t told Daniel recently. Sensing this could take a while, Daniel interrupts with, “Those two.”
Jack follows his gaze. “Huh?”
“Sam and Janet...”
Jack blinks slowly at him. “How much cake have you had? Did someone spike the punch? You didn’t bring something back from P3X-boring-as-heck did you?”
Daniel gives him his best scowl and resists the urge to point out it’s a kid’s party so there’s no spiked punch. He’s about to explain what he means when he realises that it’s probably against regulations. They’re doctor and patient, after all. Sam and Janet shouldn’t be... doing whatever they’re doing and if Jack admits it, he’d probably have to report it.
“Daniel?”
“Sorry. I... uh...” He watches them across the garden. “I think I had too much... cake.”
“Ya think?”
Daniel watches them for another couple of moments before drifting away. Jack barely even notices.
3;Jacob
Jacob meets Cassandra one sunny summer Saturday at Sam’s house. It was prearranged, except she forgot, and when Janet and Cassandra turn up on the doorstep, Sam is flustered, but invites them in.
“Who’s this?” Jacob says, with a smile. Cassandra baulks, so Sam quickly explains that Jacob - and Selmak - are Tok’ra, not Goa’uld and that she has nothing to be afraid of. When she says he’s her father, however, Cassandra’s immediate reaction sends Samantha flailing.
“So, you’re my grandfather?”
It’s an innocent question from a girl with two mothers, but it catches Jacob off-guard and he laughs and says, “Only if there’s something Sammy’s not told me.” Selmak quietly mocks him and he tells her to be quiet.
“You haven’t told him about me, Sam?” Cassandra says, quietly.
“I was getting to that.” Sam turns to Jacob. “Cassandra was the lone survivor of a Goa’uld massacre, dad. It’s a long story, but to cut it short...”
“...we adopted her,” Janet finishes her sentence with.
Jacob looks at Sam, who, for a second, seems to glow at that, but then the Earth starts rotating again beneath her feet and she catches her father’s eye. “We share parental responsibility.”
When he doesn’t move, Selmak gently prods him with a note of, “Say something, Jacob.” So, Jacob turns to Cassandra and smiles.
“I guess I’m a grandfather again, then,” he says. She smiles back. Selmak asks, “Do I have to manage your life for you now?” He hushes her.
It’s once they’re outside, Cassandra and Janet inside doing keeping-out-of-the-way-things, and nursing a beer each that Jacob turns to Sam and voices his thoughts, “So... Cassandra.” Okay, one thought. It’s a good start, considering. “And Janet.”
“Yeah...” Sam nods and smiles. “I was going to tell you, dad, I swear. It’s just... everything happened so fast and then there was your cancer and the Tok’ra and the Goa’uld... I just never found the time.”
Jacob nods back and sips his beer. “As long as you’re happy,” he says. “Although, I would have liked to have found out in a more controlled setting.”
Sam laughs. “Sorry dad.”
“Not that I have anything against it, mind. I’m just saying.”
Sam pauses and look at him. “Against what?”
“You and Janet.”
There’s a moment - a long and very silent moment, especially inside his head - and then he sees Sam is staring at him. “What?” he says. “I don’t mind, Sammy. If she’s what makes you happy then I don’t mind.” He starts to wonder if he’s got the wrong end of the stick.
“No, dad, I’m not... we’re not.” Sam flaps her hands a little and shakes her head. “We’re just raising Cassandra together. We’re not... like that. We’re friends.”
“You completely missed the stick,” Selmak informs him. “And you grabbed a pigeon instead.”
He’s still chucking at Selmak when he says, “Sorry, Sammy.”
It’s funny, though, he thinks, when Cassandra joins them and shares Sam’s seat with her, and Janet comes to rest by her feet on the wicker footstool, because it doesn’t matter what Sam says... he doesn’t believe that they’re not in love, not lovers or not parents (rather than separate mothers), not... ‘Not’.
“She said they’re not,” Selmak reminds him, quietly, keeping her voice low even though he’s the only one who can hear.
“I know,” he replies, “but I know my daughter better than you do.”
Selmak concedes that point, and recedes into silence.
4;Jack
Despite Daniel’s beliefs as to Jack’s ability to sniff out any kind of sexual tension, activity or desire at a hundred metres - or yards... whichever - Jack notices it slowly, over time.
It’s probably because it starts slow with a touch across the table between the two that’s just a tiniest bit out of place, a lingering glance and Sam’s casual, “I’ll come over tonight,” that isn’t even a question, just a given because Janet wouldn’t say no.
Jack doesn’t notice it at first, because why would he? But he starts when Sam starts mentioning her more.
“Cassandra saw E.T. for the first time Wednesday,” becomes, “Janet and I watched Pocahontas with Cassandra last night.”
“I’ll take these readings home with me tonight and see if I can’t figure them out,” becomes, “I’ll run these by Janet later when I’m there helping Cassie with her trig homework, I’m sure we’ll work them out together.”
And the most obvious. “Call me if you need me, sir, I’ll be home all night,” slowly but surely becomes, “If you need me, I’ll be at Janet’s.”
“You stayed over, Carter?” he enquires, one day.
Sam looks up. “Yes, sir, why?”
“Just curious.” He picks at a knot in the wood of the side of the desk. “You’ve been doin’ that a lot lately.”
“I have? Cassie’s been ill and she likes me there. It’s nice to have company.” She goes back to her work and Jack lets it go with due grace and aplomb with his dignity intact. Until it starts to affect him.
“So, how’s about it, Carter? You, me, the great outdoors and a lake with no fish. Whaddaya say?”
Carter looks up and Jack has déjà vu. Again. “Oh, I can’t, sir, I’m sorry.” Not even a moment of consideration. “Janet and I are chaperoning Cassie’s school trip this week. I promised her.”
“Who?”
“Sir?”
“Promised who?”
“Janet, why?”
“Just wondering.”
“Do you have a problem with this, sir?” There’s no malice, just a genuine question, but it gets his hackles up nonetheless.
“No, Carter, I just wondered why you spend all your time with them. It’s just one fishing trip.”
“They’re my family, sir.”
And there it is. You’re not, even though SG-1 is supposed to be family. Teal’c and Daniel... they’re his brothers. Carter’s the pretty cousin he’d secretly like to...
“Sir?”
“Yeah, Carter, I heard you.” He turns away and sighs. “Offer’s open if you get interested.”
“I won’t sir, but thank you anyway.”
He doesn’t quite retreat with his dignity unharmed this time, but the shreds that remain he manages to pull together long enough to curse Daniel for not being more explicit.
And how did he notice first, anyway?! That never happens.
5;Harriman
Walter doesn’t care.
You can’t work in a relatively safe job in the SGC and almost die on a regular basis and not take a moment to assess your priorities.
Priorities such as family - parents, siblings, cousins, even that great aunt who smells like fries - friends, the girl who works in the computer room that he’d kinda like to see become Mrs Harriman if he ever gets the chance, staying alive, loyalty, trust, discretion... the things that, for the most part, seem small and the kind of things you forget really matter and exist. The things that matter when you’re him, working for the SGC.
He’s mulling these priorities over one day when he comes to a halt in the corridor, having landed on the last one - discretion - and paused for thought. He looks up in time to see Major Carter and Doctor Frasier in an alcove - or it might be a storage closet, he’s not sure and not paying much attention to the scenery to be honest - doing what he can only describe as touching each other up.
He can’t quite see - and he’s disinclined to go out of his way to voyeuristically spy on Major Carter or Doctor Frasier - but he can see their heads tilted together and the way their hands move, their body language screaming the words more than friends like a battle cry.
After a moment, they fall apart. Doctor Frasier heads off down the corridor without even a backward glance and Major Carter turns and sees Walter stood there. “Sergeant,” she says. She eyes him for a moment and then enquires, “Are you okay?”
He nods. “Yes, thank you, Major,” he says. “I was just...” and he rambles for a moment, justifying his presence in the corridor, as though it were some major felony. Major Carter doesn’t seem to really care. She nods along and accepts what he’s saying at face value, then informs him she was just discussing the recent Stargate activity with Doctor Frasier.
Excuses. He gets flustered for a moment before saying, “Major Carter, I really must get these to General Hammond, but... just so you know... I won’t tell anyone.”
Major Carter looks confused. “Sergeant?”
“About...” He nods towards the alcove. “Excuse me.” He moves off and when he looks back at Major Carter, she looks as relaxed, casual and uncaring as ever, despite the fact he could tell the general on her and possibly get her into a lot of trouble.
But he won’t.
Since, after all, when it comes down to it... he doesn’t care either. There are more important things in life than telling tales.
6;Cassandra (16)
She’s about sixteen when she realises that Daniel Jackson is very attractive and starts making excuses to see him. She gets involved in linguistics and he - and General Hammond - agree to let her help with the translation of alien languages. She learns a lot in her time on the base. For example, Daniel’s nose wrinkles in a very cute way when he’s frustrated - something Jack causes him to be a lot, for no apparent reason - and he takes his glasses off when he wants to ignore something.
And oh, god, the glasses.
Cassandra didn’t realise until recently that she really likes glasses. Especially Daniel’s geek glasses.
So, that’s how Cassie ends up sat in his office trying to translate a piece for Daniel when she hears familiar voices. She turns and listens.
“She’s doing really well, Daniel says.” Sam’s voice. Close.
“Good. I’m so glad. I was worried she was only doing it to be near him.” Janet. Mom. “You know she has a crush, right?”
Sam chuckles. “I’d noticed.”
Her cheeks burn and she dips her head down, determinedly not listening.
“We’ve done well, you and me,” her mom says, quietly. She lifts her head.
The tone of Sam’s voice conveys the shake of her head. “I hardly did anything. I’m more of an aunt than...”
“Sam.” Cassie knows that tone. Last time she heard it she bust open the front door to find her mom at the tail end of a date about to lean in for a kiss. Of course, she vehemently denied it was a date, but Cassie knew better. And she saw what Janet couldn’t see, the blonde hair, the militaristic pose, the... “We both raised her.”
The small part of Cassie that still occasionally slips and says, “Mommy,” when she’s sick, appeals that they’re not done raising her quite yet, whilst the rest of her whines and says she did most of it herself, thank you very much.
Sam is blushing, she recognises that tone, too, as she says, “We did?”
“We did. I couldn’t have done it without you, Sam, and she wouldn’t have had as rounded an upbringing without you.”
She creeps towards the door, the stone tablet she’s translating still in her hands, and peeks. Mom’s hand slips into Sam’s and the twelve year old inside Cassie whispers, “Parents.”
Something beeps in Daniel’s office and Cassandra squeaks and drops the tablet. Bits break apart and she silently bemoans that he’s going to kill her. Or worse, take off his glasses.
“Cassie? What are you doing?” She’s not touching Sam anymore. Damn, damn, damn...
“N-Nothing, I w-was... I heard voices, I thought it was you. I wanted to show... and then the beep and I jumped and...”
“Were you eavesdropping?” Janet walks across and eyes her. “What did you hear?”
Cassie smiles. “Only good things.”
7;General Hammond
General Hammond tries to keep his nose out of his personnel’s personal lives. Not because he wouldn’t secretly like to know that they’re happy, but because if he found out they were happy with each other he’d have to report it, thus ruining the happiness and giving him nothing to put his nose into in the first place.
It’d be a viscous cycle and he isn’t interested in beginning it.
Which is why it comes as a surprise to him to see Janet’s wracked expression when Major Carter comes back from a mission badly injured and Janet can’t get to her due to some kind of contamination that can’t - for the sake of the SGC and the world - be let beyond the Gate Room.
“General, I have to get in there.”
He’s seen her worrying about a patient before - Jack, Teal’c, Daniel, more times than he’d like to count, SG-3, SG-11... you name it, she’s worried - but there’s something more in her eyes this time as she stares through the window as they try to decontaminate the area.
“I can’t allow that, Doctor. If you go in there you could be infected, too. I’m sorry.”
Janet puts her hands on her hips and tries to keep calm, but he can see her falling apart.
“Doctor Frasier, is there something you’d like to tell me?”
Janet shakes her head. “No, sir.” She walks to the window. “I just don’t want Major Carter to die because I’m being kept away.”
“Doctor Frasier...?”
She looks up at him and there are tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, General. I’m letting my personal feelings getting the better of me, it’s just... She’s my best friend.”
For the first time since he met the doctor stood before him, General Hammond is hit with the sense that she’s telling a blatant lie. But when he looks at her it becomes apparent, to him at least, that she doesn’t know she’s lying. It causes an uncomfortable flashback to the za’tarc incident a few years prior.
“We’re doing the best we can, Doctor,” he says, and wishes he could make them go faster.
8;Teal’c
Teal’c has seen that look once before, upon the face of Shan’Auc when she looked upon him and felt the love they never before got to taste.
He can see it again, now, not turned upon him but instead upon Doctor Frasier, whose eyes mimic the exact same expression.
“Major Carter seems to care deeply for Doctor Frasier,” he states.
“Tell me about it,” Jack mutters from beside him. They’re sat on a bed, waiting for their physical whilst Janet looks after Sam, the two of them almost giggling together.
“You know of this, O’Neill?”
Daniel shrugs from beside Jack. “We don’t so much ‘know’ as definitely... suspect.”
“Yeah, I know of this.” Jack gives Daniel a withering look.
“They are lovers?”
“Yep.” Jack fiddles with his sleeves.
“I’m not so sure.”
Jack looks towards Daniel. “Oh, c’mon, you’re not blind! You saw before I did!”
Daniel shakes his head, slowly. “I did, but I’m not convinced they... have.” He gestures towards the two women. Jack stares at him.
“This is very puzzling, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c says.
“You can say that again, Teal’c.” Jack turns back to Daniel. “What are you talking about?”
Finger against his lower lip, Daniel says, “Well, they, uh, whenever you mention one to the other, they don’t... get flustered... at all. If they were having a-a, uh... secret affair, they would deny it, whether it was mentioned directly or not.”
Jack raises an eyebrow. “Oh really? How would you know?”
Daniel shrugs.
“Could this have something to do with... Cassandra?!”
“Jack! No!”
“Oh really? You’re denying it, you know...”
“I’m not having an affair with Cassandra,” Daniel hisses. “Honestly.”
“Mm, you said you deny it though, and that is a curiously specific denial.”
Teal’c raises an eyebrow at the two of them. “O’Neill, is Cassandra not of too young an age for Daniel Jackson?”
“Thank you, Teal’c,” Daniel says, with a sigh.
“That’s why we call it ‘jailbait’,” Jack says, complete with air quotes.
“Jack!” Daniel almost whines. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“I have to do something while I’m waiting for a nurse to stick a needle in my butt.”
“What’re you all talking about?” Sam’s stood in front of them all of a sudden.
“Nothing,” Daniel says, so quickly Sam gets whiplash.
“Nothing,” Jack agrees.
“Curiously specific denials, Major Carter, regarding yourself, Doctor Frasier, Daniel Jackson and Cassandra.”
“What about us?” Sam says.
“All your super-secret love affairs,” Jack says, hopping off the bed.
Sam turns to Daniel. “Do I want to know?”
“Very much not.”
“Okay.” She moves to leave and catches Teal’c looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “Teal’c?”
“You did not deny anything, Major Carter.”
She smiles and shrugs. “What is there to deny?”
Teal’c will never understand humans.
9;Janet
The realisation dawns on Janet one summer night as she’s lying in bed reading a medical text and Sam is dozing beside her.
Too many nights of Sam staying over - for one reason or another - and waking up with a stiff neck, back, arm, leg or other body part lead Janet to, long ago, announce, “Just come and share with me,” and they have been ever since. Sam keeps to the left, Janet keeps to the right and only once have they woken up nose-to-nose and had a strange moment of, “Oh.”
She’s not sure why she’s thinking about that ‘Oh’ moment now, of all times. Sam is fast asleep, breathing gently after a hard mission, having collapsed into bed with Janet and fallen asleep before her head hit the pillow. Janet doesn’t even know why she stayed over tonight; they didn’t watch a movie, they didn’t have work to share, Cassandra wasn’t ill... But she did. She’d navigated to Janet’s on auto-pilot and now here she was.
Janet’s not complaining, she’s really not. In fact, she likes it. She’s never had all that much time to meet someone, to date, to have a relationship last long enough for a warm bed on both sides and it’s not like Sam is bad company - she’s her best friend for a reason - or that she smells bad - in fact, the opposite; Janet could smell her all day and likes the scent she leaves on that side of the bed - or tosses and turns or is bad to look at - Janet could stare at her all day. It’s nice to have the company.
She pauses, backtracks and replays. Best friend; check, but the scent? The staring? Janet closes the medical text and, in the half light of the bedroom, gazes across at her sleeping friend... confidante... partner?
How long has she been in a loving relationship without realising, she wonders. How long since she sighed at the thought of coming back to an empty bed or wished Sam wouldn’t stay over? Has she ever wished that?
She reaches out and gently strokes her fingers through Sam’s soft hair. The blonde moves a bit and mumbles, “Mm... Ja-” in her sleep. Janet’s heart stops. She’s known about the Major and the Colonel’s feelings for one another for a long time, but to be confronted with them at a time like this...
Sam rolls, scoots sleepily towards the doctor and says, still fast asleep, “Don’t take my Janet.”
Janet smiles, bends down and kisses her hair. “No one’s going to take me,” she promises, softly. Then she slides down beneath the mattress, meets Sam’s forehead with her own and, one hand over hers beneath the duvet, lets herself drift off to sleep.
10;Sam
It’s been a long, long day. Two trips to P4X-203, four trade agreements falling through, several attempts to kill her - one resulting in a blast from a zat and a second one Daniel took for her because otherwise she’d be dead - she’d been rendered unconscious, interrogated and then thrown through a Stargate backwards from above, which is something she swore she’d only do once.
And then she’d had to go back for Daniel.
All in all, the day was really bad. The kind of bad that needs a bad movie and a glass of wine. Or a beer. Or possibly just sleep.
She drives past her house before she really thinks it through and then it dawns on her that she’s on her way to Janet’s. She doesn’t even wonder if maybe Janet wouldn’t want her there, that maybe she has plans or is just sick of her. Of course not; Janet’s home is always open to her, that’s been stated a few times now, both by Janet herself and Cassandra, whose only reason for not calling Sam ‘mom’ also is Sam’s own request.
Sam checks her face in the rear-view mirror. She looks tired, drained, and her blonde hair seems to be losing its shine. Stress. Aliens. Jaffa. Goa’uld. Daniel. It all takes its toll.
She climbs out of the car, jacket slung over her shoulder, when she arrives at Janet’s and goes straight for the front door, inserting her key and twisting it in the lock. The lights in the house are all off - after all, it’s half eleven, they’re probably both in bed, Janet’s day off and all - and Sam walks in quietly, careful not to let it bang behind her. She decides to go straight into the kitchen, grab something to eat then go to bed.
She never gets that far.
She steps into the kitchen to find the table laid, Janet stood over it lighting the final of the candles sat in the middle. It’s a gorgeous spread: red tablecloth, chairs opposite each other, three candles in a triangle around a rose in a vase (Sam mentally assesses the fire hazard before trusting Janet’s judgement) and a few dishes of vegetables.
Janet straightens up as the hand holding Sam’s jacket falls to her side. “I thought you’d be hungry,” she says, pleasantly. “Colonel O’Neill told me what a rough day you’ve all had.”
Colonel O’Neill? Janet hasn’t been in all day... Since when do they talk on the phone? Or outside of the base without Sam at all? Sam doesn’t reply, still staring at the table and the flickering candles. Janet steps swiftly past her and retrieves the food from the oven; a lasagne. Lasagne. Sam loves lasagne. She’s expressed this feeling to Janet on quite a few occasions and is she wearing a skirt?
She eyes Janet for a moment before snapping out of it and saying, “You know just what I need,” with a happy, contented sigh.
Janet shoots her a smile. “Sit down, I’ll bring it over.” She’s already serving it up onto plates and whereas Sam would usually insist on helping in some manner, tonight she’s too tired, so she walks across and drops into the chair, letting her coat land on the floor beside her to pick up after the food.
All her limbs feel heavy. Too heavy. She yawns. “General Hammond has declared P4X-203 as off limits,” she says. “Too much risk in ever going back there, even if they do have shield technology.”
“How’s Daniel?” Janet places a plate down in front of Sam and she can smell the scent of Janet’s excellent lasagne.
“He’s recovering,” Sam says as Janet serves her some vegetables; beans and peas. Again, she’d usually argue, say she’s not a kid and can serve herself, but there’s something in Janet’s manner, the candles, and the inability to lift her arms past her second rib that stops her. “He reckons he’ll be out of the infirmary by tomorrow but I think it’ll be a couple of days.”
Janet sits down opposite her and lifts her fork, which Sam takes as a cue to start eating. Which she does. The first mouthful is like an orgasm. Something she hasn’t had in a really long time, in case you’re wondering. She sighs at her own celibacy and reaches for the glass of wine to take a sip. “Janet, this is delicious.”
Janet smiles. “Thanks, Sam.” She takes a bite, but seems to be drawing more pleasure from watching Sam savour every mouthful. “I made key lime pie for dessert, but if you’re full it’ll keep for tomorrow.”
Every part of Sam’s brain screams food and begs her to eat faster. She grins. “Tomorrow is too far away.”
Janet chuckles. “Okay then.”
They eat quietly at first, Sam barely able to keep her eyes open and Janet watching her from across the table, and then she tells Janet about the mission that exhausted her so much. Talking makes her even more tired, and the lasagne only succeeds in drawing attention to that fact. “And that’s when I dropped through the gate.”
“From above?” Janet forgot her lasagne about five minutes back, but Sam isn’t complaining; she likes being the centre of Janet’s attention.
She shrugs. “I was wearing protective gear this time,” she says, “so it wasn’t as bad.” She moves her neck, which twinges a bit as a reminder that it wasn’t as bad but certainly wasn’t good. “However, this was when I realised Daniel was still on the planet. After his customary, ‘The things he gets into!’ face, Colonel O’Neill went back with me and Teal’c to fetch him. We found him bound and naked in a pig sty.”
Janet raises an eyebrow. “When you say naked...”
“I mean with everything on display.” Sam nods. “It’s been one of those days in which clothes are optional.”
“I hope so,” Janet mutters. Sam has already said, “Huh?” before what Janet said finally computes.
“I said it sounds it,” Janet says. Which was not what she said originally.
Sam is too tired for this. She sets her cutlery down, leans back in her seat with her glass of wine and, after a cursory glance at her empty plate to make sure she left not even a crumb behind, says, “Thanks for the meal. It was delicious.” She thinks she’s already expressed this sentiment, but it never hurts to do it twice.
Janet smiles at her. “You’re welcome.”
She props her elbow up on the back of the chair, rests the hand with the wine glass on her knee and gazes at Janet. “What’s the occasion?”
Janet quirks an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. Candles, rose, wine... no lights on, greeting me with food. Did I forget my own birthday?” She mentally adds ‘again’ to the end of her sentence.
Her friend laughs. “No, Sam, nothing like that.”
“Well, what then?” Sam leans back. Her eyelids are heavy. She yawns and catches Janet’s fond look. “Really, Janet, what?”
Janet stands up and picks up the two plates, stacking them and walking towards the dishwasher. “Have you looked at the calendar? This day, years ago, was the day we decided we were raising Cassandra. The day she moved in with me.” She places the plates in the dishwasher. “I was kind of thinking... it makes it our anniversary, don’t you think?”
No reply. She stands up. “Sam?”
Sam is asleep with her head on the table. Janet smiles, softly, and walks across to blow out the candles.
*
Sam wakes up in bed next to Janet, as always. She yawns and looks at the clock on the bedside table; four in the morning and she’s still feeling exhausted and drained. Her eyes wander, in the half light, up to the photo frame - a new addition that very day - sat behind it, containing a photo.
She yawns a bit more and props her head up on her hand to look at it. The photo is of Sam and Janet, posing and laughing together like complete idiots at Cassandra’s thirteenth birthday party. They look comfortable together, Janet laughing into Sam’s shoulder, Sam’s one hand on her shoulder, her other dancing on her hip.
That was a good day, Sam muses, quietly. Friends, family, cake and no alien invasions. She reaches out and touches Janet’s face on the photograph. She looks happier than she looked before Cassandra. Sam can barely even remember her before Cassandra, in fact. She was lonely. She was alone. Now she has a family.
She drifts back to sleep with the thought of family on her mind.
*
“Hey Sam.” Her dad kisses her on the cheek and they walk down the ramp from the Stargate together. “How are you doing?”
She smiles. “I’m doing well, dad. Although I have a feeling whatever news you’re going to bring is going to put a damper on that.”
Jacob laughs. “Not this time; only good news from the Tok’ra front. How are your family?”
Sam doesn’t even pause for thought, answering immediately with, “Cassandra got an A in maths and Janet’s fine.” It doesn’t strike her as odd, but when her father chuckles she gives him a puzzled look. “What?”
“Nothing,” he says.
“No, what?”
Jacob shakes his head. “Just something Selmak said.”
Sam will never get used to that, she thinks, a whole other person living in her dad’s body.
*
The world is fading in and out, bright lights and dark spots across her eyes. Nothing is in focus and she can’t make her eyes stay in one place. She’s in someone’s strong arms and when she somehow moves her eyes she sees the dark skin of Teal’c’s upper arm next to her head.
“M’okay,” she murmurs, even though it’s a blatant lie. Everything goes hot, then cold, then hot again and Teal’c’s footsteps turn into the sound of boots on the ramp in the SGC. Home. Safe.
Teal’c is saying something, his voice fading in and out much like the world. “...staff... jaffa... injured... Daniel... blood...” Aw, god, she got killed again, didn’t she?
No, that’s not right. If she was dead, this wouldn’t hurt so much and she’d... be dead. Logic, right there, Carter, she thinks. Focus on the logic.
“Sam?”
Anyway, it’s Daniel who’s always dying, not her. She’s only done it twice.
“Sam, can you hear me?”
Twice? Or once? She’s not sure. Everything is blurring together. Why is she thinking of death and that bright light is awful close...
“Sam? She’s going into arrest! Defib-”
Everything goes away and Sam clings to the voice echoing through her ears.
Janet. Her Janet. Her beautiful Janet. Janet who she...
Who she...
She...
*
“Sam!”
Eyes heavy, chest hurts, legs ache. Why does she hurt so much? What time is it? Has she got to get to... Eyes open properly. Oh. Infirmary. Oh, not again. Infirmary for her. Someone’s sat on the bed, leaning against her legs. It’s Janet.
Janet.
Janet.
Oh.
Blearily blinking and dazedly trying to sit up but Janet pushes her down, gently. “Sam, don’t try to sit up, yet. Do you remember what happened?”
Of course she remembers what happened. Janet panicked. She heard it in her voice, just for a split second, and Sam had this thought in her head about Janet that... it faded. Why did it fade? It shouldn’t have faded, she wanted to know where it was going. But maybe she did and she just didn’t follow it and... “I... Teal’c shouted... Colonel O’Neill took Daniel down and I got hit with... staff weapon.” She groans, which hurts her chest. “Was it bad?”
“You’ve been out for four days,” Janet says. Her lips are pursed and she’s watching her with this intense look in her eyes, the kind that startles Sam for a moment. She groans a bit in pain and Janet leans over her to give her more painkillers. “I’m giving you something for the pain,” she says, by way of explanation. “You were in bad shape when you came in. You’re going to have to stay a while.”
Sam nods quietly. “S’long as you’re here,” she says, as she feels the effect kick in, lulling her back to sleep. “D’leave me.”
The last thing she feels as she slips into blessed unconsciousness is Janet’s hand slipping into hers as she says, quietly, “I won’t leave you, Sam. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
*
When Janet said ‘a while’, Sam thought she meant a few days, not two weeks. But it’s given her chance to try to recapture her last thought before she went into cardiac arrest. Unfortunately, so far, she’s come up blank. She still has no idea what her thought was trailing off into.
“Are you ready to go home, Sam?” Janet is there, smiling at her, so she smiles back.
“Yep.” She gestures at the bag of stuff Janet brought her.
“Want a lift home?”
Her heart sinks so fast she thinks it’s attached to a ton weight, and she’s not sure why. “Oh. I was...” She swallows. “Can’t I stay with you? I don’t feel safe in an empty home. Still a bit wobbly.” Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. Did she mention that was a lie?
Janet smiles. “Sam, that’s what I meant.”
Heart in sky now. Soaring. She still doesn’t know why.
*
Janet opens the door for her and she walks in, muttering about not being an invalid. Janet gives her the look that says, “You are until I say you’re not,” and Sam concedes the point. After all, Janet is her doctor.
She leads her through to the kitchen, after she mentioned her thirst in the car, and offers Sam a bottle of water from the fridge, which she gratefully accepts. Her eyes land on the table; candles that aren’t there flicker and she’s hit with the sudden feeling that she’s missing something huge.
“Come on, you should go to bed,” Janet says. She leads her up the stairs and Sam follows, paying attention to her surroundings, rather than where she’s going. There are three of her pairs of military boots and a couple of pairs of actual shoes under the stairs. Her sweater has been discarded, lazily, over the banister, next to Cassandra’s coat. Her old CD player is on the floor by the front door.
Of course Janet meant here when she said ‘home’. Sam lives her. Why didn’t she notice this before?
She follows Janet all the way up into the bedroom and her eyes land on the photograph on the bedside table.
“Sam?”
“Sam, can you hear me?”
“Sam? She’s going into arrest! Defib-”
Janet. Her Janet. Her beautiful Janet. Janet who she...
Who she...
She...
Who she loves.
“Oh, fuck me,” Sam whispers. She’s in love with Janet, who gives her a surprised look.
“Did you just ask me to fuck you?”
Sam blushes. She actually blushes. “No, I was just swearing. I’m sore. Wound.” Her ability to talk like a human being has been left by the roadside, apparently. She points at herself and Janet smirks a little. Crap, she’s onto her.
God, she wants her on her.
Sam sighs, groans a little and walks across to the bed, but Janet intercepts. “You’re not climbing into bed wearing that,” she says. “And you know it.”
She does. They’ve had this argument before. Has Janet always just wanted her to sleep naked? She wants to sleep naked tonight. She’s not sure that’s even a good idea but she doesn’t have the energy to find pyjamas. So, instead, she somehow manages to find the energy to shrug off her pants and toe off her boots.
“Let me.” Janet’s hands slip around her chest from behind, snaking underneath her arms and unbuttoning her shirt, slowly. Fuck. Definitely onto her. Her fingers brush her skin as she works the shirt off and Sam shivers involuntarily. “You’re cold, get into bed.”
Sam obliges, slipping beneath the covers in her underwear. She doesn’t hide, though, keeping her arms on the top of the duvet. Janet seems to waver, as though considering going back downstairs, but something in Sam’s eyes obviously draws her back to, instead, pull off her clothes stood in the middle of the bedroom and reach for her nighty.
Sam spends the whole time staring at her getting naked and wondering how she missed this. How she managed to not notice how beautiful, how gorgeous, how attractive, how sexy Janet is. Her eyes wander down the smooth skin of her back - peppered with a few moles she’d just love to run the tip of her tongue over - and down to her ass, which is in the air as she reaches into the bottom drawer of her dresser for her nighty.
God, that’s a nice ass.
She turns and sees Sam looking. She’s not quick enough to look away and Janet gives her a knowing look. Just like that, Sam knows. She knows that Janet knows. And that Janet knows Sam knows.
Janet slides into bed beside her wearing nothing but a fuchsia satin nighty with black lace trimmings. Now Sam is convinced she’s doing it deliberately.
...or she would be, if that wasn’t what Janet always wore to bed.
Sam rolls onto her back, arms folded across the duvet, and looks up at the ceiling. She can feel Janet’s eyes fixed on her head, obviously waiting for her to say something.
Sam’s cue. She just needs to take it.
“How long have we been in a relationship without me knowing?” she asks, quietly, wondering how she can be smart and yet miss something so obvious.
Janet chuckles a little from beside her. “I’d say from the moment we took Cassandra in.”
Sam nods and looks up at the ceiling. “Cassie knew,” she says.
“Sam,” Janet says, patiently. “Everyone knew before us.”
“Everyone?”
“Everyone. Even Daniel.”
“Daniel?!” Now she really feels naïve. She slinks a little more under the duvet and grumbles something about needing relationship glasses and maybe borrowing Daniel’s.
Janet’s face appears beside her own, resting on her pillow, staring at her. Sam rolls over to meet her, ignoring the twinge of pain through her chest... stomach... actually, most of her body above the waist. “I think I cheated on you,” she states, solemnly and completely seriously. She pauses. “More than once.”
“I cheated on you too,” Janet states. “Well, I tried.”
“You tried?”
“Not tried to cheat. Tried to date. It didn’t work out.”
“Was he not Air Force enough for you?” Sam jokes.
“She wasn’t Sam enough for me.” Janet gets a little closer, her nose almost brushing Sam’s.
“Oh,” Sam says, in a tiny voice. She didn’t know that about Janet. Why did she never know that? She never asked. It never came up... because she knew it didn’t matter. Janet is hers.
“You’re mine, anyway,” she says, quietly.
Janet gives her an amused look and smiles. “Yes,” she says, “I am.”
Sam reaches out and gently skims her fingertips down Janet’s arm, watching the hairs stand up in their wake. Her skin is smooth, creamy and soft. She wants to kiss it and touch it but the idea of moving. “We’ve wasted years,” she says, quietly.
Janet shakes her head. “No, we haven’t,” she says. “We were together, that’s what matters.”
Sam’s eyes widen. “You were going to seduce me!”
“When?”
“Lasagne? Wine?”
“You fell asleep.”
“I ruined the evening.”
Janet smiles. “It’s okay,” she says. “You didn’t want to anyway.”
“I want to now...” Sam says. “But I’m so...”
Janet reaches out, pulls her into her arms, allowing Sam to turn around and sink into the embrace. “It’s okay,” she says, quietly. “You’re not recovered yet, and we have all the time in the world.”
Sam sighs, happily. “Yeah,” she agrees. “We do.”