Irina Ivanovna Momot-Smith
"I I, it is all I." She told me she was a narcissist, (as did Cheryl, "The whole world is only mine. You can only have a piece of it"). I was raised by a hyper-narcissist, my dad, so this probably seemed normal to me.
Sometimes I sit back and think about how truly awful Irina Ivanovna was to me (and how much I still pine for her) and how much she is still controlling my life. I mean, I live in Russia. I have for almost 15 years. I would definitely not live in Russia if I hadn't met Irina, yet I absolutely love living here. I love the people here most of all. Soon I will have lived in Russia longer than Irina did.
I definitely would not move back to the U.S. at this point. I mean Donald Trump (the complete idiot) was a president! WTF?! And he might be again? In Russia, I can at least be assured no one is going to shoot me on the street. Gun laws are hardcore here. Healthcare is much, much cheaper.
The only two times in my entire life (ignoring mental health issues and just focusing on physical ailments), I've been in a hospital was 1983 for my knee surgery, and 1986 after my car accident. I'm lucky physically health-wise.
I find the Russian language unbelievably sexy. I just love to hear it. Especially now that I understand it nearly completely.
Maybe it wasn't Irina, maybe it was (the much hotter Russian engineer at work) Maria Latushkin or even Uliana, the drop-dead gorgeous rep for whatever company that every dude drooled over, or my assistant Olga, that made me want Russianness in my life. I was certainly entranced by my Russian CDs and movies.
Or maybe I moved to Russia to have my cats. Maybe we were meant to be. I love Nazarius and Ramzes Sakharoff so much. Maybe we have kismet. I certainly never understood the depth of domestic animal love available until I moved to Russia, but that's due to Nikol Vyacheslavovna and has nothing to do with Irina.
Irina had sparse furniture in her home, let alone animals. She's not capable of love beyond herself. Nikol is simply kind. I love her steadfast kindness. I sometimes think I'm not worth Nikol's overwhelming kindness. She's just a lovely human and I'm so happy to see her beautiful popa, when I can. I love her so much.