Note to self while on steriods
1. Your skin does fit.
2. Not everyone is "spoiling for a fight" exept maybe that woman in the ISO office.
3. Do not eat everything you see. Contrary to what your brain is saying, this is not a good time to "bulk up".
4. No matter what your muscles say, you are not "faster than a speeding bullet" or "more powerful than a locomotive".
5. Sadly, due to #4, you cannot "take" Jeter, or beat Barry Bonds to the home run record.
6. There are more temperatures in the world than "fuckingcoldinhere" and "Jebus safe turn down the heat".
7. They really are whinning, but the laws have changed, and that infraction is no longer punishable by 'stair push'. Even in Texas.
7a. Claiming the stairs in the name of a new or little noticed dictatorship does not give you the right to invoke that country's 'stair push for whinning' statutes.
7b. There is no # 8 because I fuckin say so, that's why.
9. Your friends still like you, don't make the little dolls.
10. Your friends did not create little dolls of you.
11. Due to #7-7b we will not be doing any kind of significant customer sales type interactions.
12. You really don't want to go back to the ER and fix it with a hose and a big stick. (okay, maybe you do, but there is a funnier more clever way to do it, just give your over stimulated brain time to figure it out).
13. Ditto any of several jackass medical care teams recently under discussion and one of several employers and small departments in and around New England.
14. "Pogue Mahone" is not an acceptable greeting.
15. Ditto "the fuck do you want now you whinning git?"
16. Probably answering that last email with "she left it on my desk, she did not give it to me. My desk is not a reliable delivery service, as much as it tries to be. You need to reburn the disk and put it in the Professor's mailbox on the second floor." was not your best most helpful move. It was funny though.
17. 4 more doses.
2. Not everyone is "spoiling for a fight" exept maybe that woman in the ISO office.
3. Do not eat everything you see. Contrary to what your brain is saying, this is not a good time to "bulk up".
4. No matter what your muscles say, you are not "faster than a speeding bullet" or "more powerful than a locomotive".
5. Sadly, due to #4, you cannot "take" Jeter, or beat Barry Bonds to the home run record.
6. There are more temperatures in the world than "fuckingcoldinhere" and "Jebus safe turn down the heat".
7. They really are whinning, but the laws have changed, and that infraction is no longer punishable by 'stair push'. Even in Texas.
7a. Claiming the stairs in the name of a new or little noticed dictatorship does not give you the right to invoke that country's 'stair push for whinning' statutes.
7b. There is no # 8 because I fuckin say so, that's why.
9. Your friends still like you, don't make the little dolls.
10. Your friends did not create little dolls of you.
11. Due to #7-7b we will not be doing any kind of significant customer sales type interactions.
12. You really don't want to go back to the ER and fix it with a hose and a big stick. (okay, maybe you do, but there is a funnier more clever way to do it, just give your over stimulated brain time to figure it out).
13. Ditto any of several jackass medical care teams recently under discussion and one of several employers and small departments in and around New England.
14. "Pogue Mahone" is not an acceptable greeting.
15. Ditto "the fuck do you want now you whinning git?"
16. Probably answering that last email with "she left it on my desk, she did not give it to me. My desk is not a reliable delivery service, as much as it tries to be. You need to reburn the disk and put it in the Professor's mailbox on the second floor." was not your best most helpful move. It was funny though.
17. 4 more doses.