I'm being good.
Okay so here's how I look at it. Even if everything goes absolutely wrong, I can still make it.
Past few days have been odd, to say the least. Honestly, the past few months have been odd. Wow, I haven't posted but once since I got out of Active Duty, have I? Shit, I'm sorry! I'm sure you all *glances out at the empy auditorium* have been wondering what's been goin' on lately, so here's a recap.
*Cracks knuckles*
I got off Active Duty in March, earlier than I expected to by about a week. The freedom hit me like a bullet train, the track of which I had stumbled onto, inebriated by a sense of liberty I had not felt in years. Thus crippled by the Bullet Train of Freedom, I purchased World of Warcraft in hopes that it would provide some entertainment whilst I recuperated. Oh, it provided entertainment alright... Entertainment of DOOM!
So for the first few weeks in my unstructured world, I played video games, slept, and urged the hair on my face to grow as fast as possible. I had narry a care in the world, happy to exist more in Azeroth than in the real world. So when things started to go wrong, it wasn't as big of a deal because the shadow Aaron that existed in the real world was only interested in very base needs.
Have you ever been promised something? I'm sure you have, just as I'm sure you've made promises yourself. We all do it, and we all break them at times. When I was on Active Duty, I was promised the job of my dreams; providing technical support to a large business setting up a new headquarters in the Northwest. The job was supposed to pay nearly twice what I was making on Active Duty, and even thought it was located in Olympia, that kind of money would make it worth it. But, it seems it was not to be. The woman who had assured me I was "perfect for the job" e-mailed me after I had been off Active Duty for a few weeks. Turns out the job I was "perfect for" was something I couldn't handle at the moment, at least in her putrid, ignorant eyes.
I moved on. The job that would have squared me away for years to come sped away and left only the briefest of dust clouds on the horizon. I applied to plenty of online reusme databases and sent my info the potential employers I found, all with little success. But I wasn't too worried about money, I was expecting a windfall from the Army in back-pay for travel time between Seattle and Fort Lewis. I had recieved one such payment during my activation, and was expecting a good chunk of change. But, wrongo bongo! They not only decided that they weren't going to pay me, they wanted the money they paid me before back, in a sum a little over two large.
So imagine this. You're a young man, putting his life on hold for his country. You're mobilized for two years, stuck in the Army way of life as you provide support for a unit that deploys soldiers overseas. You get recognized for your service over the course of two years in the way of two awards and promotion up into the ranks of the noncommisioned officers. As soon as you're done and walk out the Army's proverbial door, it calls you back with an important message. "Aaron", it says, "we really appreciate all the work you did for us these past two years and we'd like to th-GRAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHH!!!!!" and plunges a bayonet right into your heart. Just like that. As you lay there dieing it struts around your mangled body, it begins to gloat. "Hooah! Of course we understand you're at a hard time in your life, and yes we realize that if we hadn't made a mistake earlier on in the year, this would be much easier to bear. But we did, and we're going to bleed our mistake out of your still-fresh corpse. That's just how we roll. Deal with it." This last statement is punctuated with a kick to the bayonet still sticking out of your chest.
I'm still dealing with the debt the Army is sure I owe them. I'm trying to get assistance from the unit I was attached to at the end of my mobilization, but it's like pulling teeth from a cantaloupe. Well, of course that doesn't make sense. A cantaloupe no more has teeth than those people have compassion for someone who isn't vital to what they do.
So I begin to deal with those two big problems. Good times, I know. Then, either because my life is twisting in the wind or simply because the lack of an organized life gives me more time to think, I start having issues with Anna. There are certain things I tend to leave out of livejournal simply because it's LiveJournal, and it's awfully easy for others to see what's going on. But I'm on a roll tonight, and I think I'll keep on rockin'. She came back for Spring Break, and it wasn't the best of times. You stack that on top of two years of lonliness... anyway. Issues, big ones. We celebrated our three year anniversary from our first date last month. No, we didn't go out to dinner, no we didn't stay home and watch a movie, and no we weren't in the same state. Again. Out of three years, we've been in the same state *maybe* a year. Maybe, and that's just in the same state, that's not even in the same city. It weighs very heavily on me.
So those things all sit and simmer in thier bitter juices somewhere inside me. It give one a sort of empty feeling.
Now if you've stuck through my tale to this point, I'm sure you're tired of hearing about all the wonderful things happening, and want a little despair thrown in for seasoning. Well, worry not, we've got a slight change of pace.
When I was in Forks this weekend, I recieved a call from company in New York that provides a multitude of service over an international client base, and it seems they need a filed service technician in the Seattle area. They liked the cut of my gib, enjoy employing military personnell, and sent me on my first job on Monday. The job went well, to say the least, and right now it looks like I should be joining them as a full time employee starting fairly soon. I, as I am apt to put it, am pumped.
And honestly, the job will help a whole lot. If I cannae fix the debt problem with the Army, all that they'll do is take money away form my *Army* wages until it's paid off. Yeah, that might take a year or so, but by then I'll be done with it. Plus if I work at least 15 hours a week for this new job, I'll have enough to live on. So, moneywise things have been looking up this past week. Yet, I still have a hard time feeling honestly good.
I've been talking with a good friend about hapiness lately. Evidently, it's relationships that take the number one slot as far as hapiness is concerned. I couldn't agree more. This job prospect looks like it's gonna get rid of a lot of problems that I've been tangling with lately, and yet I still have that soulsick feeling. I know exaclty why, and honestly that makes it worse.
Yeah, good times.
Man, I just want to walk outside, scream at the top of my lungs and have the sky rain down answers.
On a brighter note, I'm drinking soda again, so anyone who wants to send dnL to my house should do so. Now. Also, my hair is hella long, and my facial hair is neatly trimmed.
Aaron out.
"Polar bears, the hippos of the sundry North."
-Unknown Author
(Not actually unknown, I just don't know who the heck said it.)
Past few days have been odd, to say the least. Honestly, the past few months have been odd. Wow, I haven't posted but once since I got out of Active Duty, have I? Shit, I'm sorry! I'm sure you all *glances out at the empy auditorium* have been wondering what's been goin' on lately, so here's a recap.
*Cracks knuckles*
I got off Active Duty in March, earlier than I expected to by about a week. The freedom hit me like a bullet train, the track of which I had stumbled onto, inebriated by a sense of liberty I had not felt in years. Thus crippled by the Bullet Train of Freedom, I purchased World of Warcraft in hopes that it would provide some entertainment whilst I recuperated. Oh, it provided entertainment alright... Entertainment of DOOM!
So for the first few weeks in my unstructured world, I played video games, slept, and urged the hair on my face to grow as fast as possible. I had narry a care in the world, happy to exist more in Azeroth than in the real world. So when things started to go wrong, it wasn't as big of a deal because the shadow Aaron that existed in the real world was only interested in very base needs.
Have you ever been promised something? I'm sure you have, just as I'm sure you've made promises yourself. We all do it, and we all break them at times. When I was on Active Duty, I was promised the job of my dreams; providing technical support to a large business setting up a new headquarters in the Northwest. The job was supposed to pay nearly twice what I was making on Active Duty, and even thought it was located in Olympia, that kind of money would make it worth it. But, it seems it was not to be. The woman who had assured me I was "perfect for the job" e-mailed me after I had been off Active Duty for a few weeks. Turns out the job I was "perfect for" was something I couldn't handle at the moment, at least in her putrid, ignorant eyes.
I moved on. The job that would have squared me away for years to come sped away and left only the briefest of dust clouds on the horizon. I applied to plenty of online reusme databases and sent my info the potential employers I found, all with little success. But I wasn't too worried about money, I was expecting a windfall from the Army in back-pay for travel time between Seattle and Fort Lewis. I had recieved one such payment during my activation, and was expecting a good chunk of change. But, wrongo bongo! They not only decided that they weren't going to pay me, they wanted the money they paid me before back, in a sum a little over two large.
So imagine this. You're a young man, putting his life on hold for his country. You're mobilized for two years, stuck in the Army way of life as you provide support for a unit that deploys soldiers overseas. You get recognized for your service over the course of two years in the way of two awards and promotion up into the ranks of the noncommisioned officers. As soon as you're done and walk out the Army's proverbial door, it calls you back with an important message. "Aaron", it says, "we really appreciate all the work you did for us these past two years and we'd like to th-GRAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHH!!!!!" and plunges a bayonet right into your heart. Just like that. As you lay there dieing it struts around your mangled body, it begins to gloat. "Hooah! Of course we understand you're at a hard time in your life, and yes we realize that if we hadn't made a mistake earlier on in the year, this would be much easier to bear. But we did, and we're going to bleed our mistake out of your still-fresh corpse. That's just how we roll. Deal with it." This last statement is punctuated with a kick to the bayonet still sticking out of your chest.
I'm still dealing with the debt the Army is sure I owe them. I'm trying to get assistance from the unit I was attached to at the end of my mobilization, but it's like pulling teeth from a cantaloupe. Well, of course that doesn't make sense. A cantaloupe no more has teeth than those people have compassion for someone who isn't vital to what they do.
So I begin to deal with those two big problems. Good times, I know. Then, either because my life is twisting in the wind or simply because the lack of an organized life gives me more time to think, I start having issues with Anna. There are certain things I tend to leave out of livejournal simply because it's LiveJournal, and it's awfully easy for others to see what's going on. But I'm on a roll tonight, and I think I'll keep on rockin'. She came back for Spring Break, and it wasn't the best of times. You stack that on top of two years of lonliness... anyway. Issues, big ones. We celebrated our three year anniversary from our first date last month. No, we didn't go out to dinner, no we didn't stay home and watch a movie, and no we weren't in the same state. Again. Out of three years, we've been in the same state *maybe* a year. Maybe, and that's just in the same state, that's not even in the same city. It weighs very heavily on me.
So those things all sit and simmer in thier bitter juices somewhere inside me. It give one a sort of empty feeling.
Now if you've stuck through my tale to this point, I'm sure you're tired of hearing about all the wonderful things happening, and want a little despair thrown in for seasoning. Well, worry not, we've got a slight change of pace.
When I was in Forks this weekend, I recieved a call from company in New York that provides a multitude of service over an international client base, and it seems they need a filed service technician in the Seattle area. They liked the cut of my gib, enjoy employing military personnell, and sent me on my first job on Monday. The job went well, to say the least, and right now it looks like I should be joining them as a full time employee starting fairly soon. I, as I am apt to put it, am pumped.
And honestly, the job will help a whole lot. If I cannae fix the debt problem with the Army, all that they'll do is take money away form my *Army* wages until it's paid off. Yeah, that might take a year or so, but by then I'll be done with it. Plus if I work at least 15 hours a week for this new job, I'll have enough to live on. So, moneywise things have been looking up this past week. Yet, I still have a hard time feeling honestly good.
I've been talking with a good friend about hapiness lately. Evidently, it's relationships that take the number one slot as far as hapiness is concerned. I couldn't agree more. This job prospect looks like it's gonna get rid of a lot of problems that I've been tangling with lately, and yet I still have that soulsick feeling. I know exaclty why, and honestly that makes it worse.
Yeah, good times.
Man, I just want to walk outside, scream at the top of my lungs and have the sky rain down answers.
On a brighter note, I'm drinking soda again, so anyone who wants to send dnL to my house should do so. Now. Also, my hair is hella long, and my facial hair is neatly trimmed.
Aaron out.
"Polar bears, the hippos of the sundry North."
-Unknown Author
(Not actually unknown, I just don't know who the heck said it.)