A couple of things before we get down to the point(s) of this post.
1: This is techincally two posts in one. You'll know when the first one has stopped. There will be a sqiggly line.
2: I owe the title of this post to Lady Meriwen over at TLC. She came up with it by accident. I just stole it.
3: I am no longer apologising for the editorial tone of
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