Honma Dekka! Nino & Aiba appearance
Not sure how long this transcript is going to last, but I'll try the best I can.
S = Sanma
N = Nino
A = Aiba
Na = Narrator
I = Ikeda sensei
T = Takeda sensei
Sa = Sawaguchi sensei
S: I bet you’ve got some problems!
N: That’s true!
A: Yes!
Na: Ninomiya confides about his life’s problems!
R: Aren’t you just adopting a persona with no interest in yourself?
Shimazaki: That’s embarrassing!
Sa: I don’t think Ninomiya-kun is good looking!
Na: Ninomiya is torn apart by critics! What’s more…
S: Today it’s Aiba versus Ikeda!
A: I’ve been doing an animal show for over 10 years…
Na: In Aiba’s super confident animal ranking…
I: It thumps its chest with its palms open.
S: Aiba-kun, did you know this?
A: Nope.
Na: An unbelievable embarrassment!
A: I’ll be sure to report this to Shimura-san!
Na: Honma Dekka!? Honma Dekka TV!
Na: Blowing Away Arashi’s Problems Special!
K: Honma Dekka, Life Consultation!
K: Without further ado, let’s welcome the celebrities with their problems!
K: Here they are!
K: Tonight’s guests are Aiba Masaki-san and Ninomiya Kazunari-san! Thank you for coming!
N: Pleased to be here!
S: I bet you’ve got some problems!
N: Because you’re going to listen to our problems, right?
Na: First up in the hot seat is Ninomiya Kazunari.
Na: For a national idol who appears regularly in dramas and variety shows, what sort of grave problem does he have?
N: I have no interest in myself.
N: Is that a bad thing? Or not?
S: You’re in this line of work, yes?
N: Yes.
S: And yet, you have no interest in yourself?
N: If I didn’t like myself, I’d be interested in that. But I don’t particularly like or dislike myself…
S: You’re kidding!
S: There are such people in the Celebrity Club!
A/M: Celebrity Club!?
S: People in the Celebrity Club can’t live this life if they don’t like themselves, right!?
N: That’s what I thought! But when I’m being interviewed,
N: “What’s your favorite food?” “What’s your favorite color?” “Anything you’ve been hooked on recently?”
N: Makes me go, “I wonder what that is…”
S: You’re kidding!
S: Is that true, Aiba-kun?
A: That’s right. Now that I’m hearing he has no interest in himself, I can see why.
A: And the clothes he wears… This happened today as well,
A: He was wearing a sloppy white T-shirt…
N: It’s not sloppy…
A: I’ve probably seen that shirt for about 7 to 8 years now…
S: You have no interest in that as well!?
A: He doesn’t!
N: I haven’t bought clothes in 4 to 5 years…
S: You’re kidding!
A: So the members gift him with shoes or clothes on his birthday.
A: He lives off our presents.
N: That’s true.
Lady1: How about your hair?
N: I don’t cut my hair unless I have a new acting role.
Shimazaki: You’re so serious.
S: Kudos for climbing up the entertainment ladder with that attitude!
N: That’s true!
N: I do take my work seriously,
N: but when it comes to matters pertaining myself,
N: I’m not really… as long as everyone else (is happy).
N: I don’t really eat raw food.
M: What’s this about?
N: I don’t really eat raw food, so when we go to Hokkaido for concerts,
N: the other 4 members want to eat sushi.
N: I can’t eat raw sushi,
N: but it doesn’t bother me when I go.
N: I just keep eating my chawanmushi (steamed egg custard), which is the first thing they order.
N: I’m not discontent!
A: And the egg sushi, too!
Mayo: You’re only eating eggs!
N: Chawanmushi and egg sushi!
Shimada: That’s surprising!
N: And I’m not particularly…
S: You don’t feel like you want something different?
N: No.
S: You have fun?
N: That’s good enough for me.
T: This is just a question… When--
S: Just a question?
N: No solution?
T: Do you feel pain? Or heat? Does your tongue move properly?
T: Is that normal for you?
S: I’m pretty sure it is!
T: People who have no interest in themselves, they don’t care about what they’re eating.
T: They sometimes hurt themselves without realizing. That’s not what you’re experiencing?
N: I do feel pain.
T: So you do feel pain?
N: But in my private life, when I fall or something, I don’t go “Arrggh!”
T: You don’t?
S: So you don’t tell other people? “Yesterday, I hurt--!”
N: I don’t!
S: You’re kidding!
N: I forget about it.
A: And I’ve never seen him catch a cold, now that I think about it.
T: I see. And you don’t realize it if you’ve got a stomach ache?
N: I think so.
S: He probably got ill, but he didn’t realize it.
N: Sanma-san, you really like yourself, don’t you?
S: I love myself!
S: If I injured myself, I’d think, “Can’t tomorrow come earlier?!”
A: You say it out loud!
S: When I get an interesting injury, I can’t wait for tomorrow to come sooner.
S: I’d be at home, thinking, “Man, another 8 more hours to go!”
S: It’s true!
R: Aren’t you just pretending to be someone who has no interesting in himself?
Shimazaki: So embarrassing!
Matsuko: That’s plausible!
S: I’m sure there’s another way of putting it!
N: Even so, even so-
S: So it’s all an act, huh?
N: That can’t be true!
Mayo: What a lame persona!
N: That’s not true at all!
A: You’re bluffing the members too?
Mayo: So you were forcing yourself to eat all those eggs!?
N: Even though I can eat raw food? No, I can’t eat raw food at all!
S: That’s an amazing persona! Kudos for sticking with that!
R: You’re smart, so in your early years, amidst a lively crowd of Johnny’s,
R: so wouldn’t pretending to be a non-conformist be the right strategy?
Matsuko: That woman is saying some pretty amazing stuff.
Mayo: ???
R: From a woman’s perspective, a person with an orderly appearance but no self-interest like you would appear mysterious and wonderful.
R: Things have gone pretty well, huh?
R: Your persona is-
Shimazaki: How wonderful.
S: So which side are you!?
N: No, I just want to know if it’s a bad thing to have no self-interest.
S: I see, I see.
K: Okay, Sawaguchi-san.
Sa: If you’re truly not conscious of yourself, it’s a form of self-neglect, an illness.
N: Illness? I don’t want to be ill.
Sa: *If* that is the case.
Sa: Self-neglect means to neglect your basic needs.
S: I see!
Sa: In serious cases, it’s a type of illness. It hasn’t been listed in the psychiatric ward but there are such cases.
Sa: They have no interest in themselves at all.
Sa: The reason stems from brain dysfunction or brain damage.
Shimazaki: Brain dysfunctions!?
Sa: I don’t think that’s the case for you.
S: I don’t think so too.
A: True.
Sa: Still, it’s not looking good for you. If you have no self interest, you won’t have any motivation, pleasure or curiosity in life.
Sa: People with no curiosity wouldn’t fall into a honey trap.
N: He’s saying it to me.
Sa: Sanma-san reacts to rewards, so he’ll fall into honey traps easily,
Sa: I think Ninomiya-san isn’t that type of person.
S: You haven’t fallen into a honey trap, have you?
N: No, I haven’t.