eh im so sick of this!
i dont understand why i am seen as an object n not as a person... like im not juss a good hook up im a great person to be around and i dont think that it is fair that i have to live with this because its not like i gave this name to myself! im a deep person but you just dont want to see that.... im a smart girl ur jus too busy trying to get something to realize that.... from now on im gonna think about every single thing that i say and do and how i handle situation that have to do with my future. hoestly i want to be some where in 10 years i want to have a great life ahead of me but the way i see it now its not coming to that point its like my life has already been taken from me! so i definently dont need to do that myself! i feel that i need to replinish myself to where i will be smart and funny to where i can feel love and pain but to a healthy point im sad to be sad n i hate this ..... i wish i could just start over! my life would feel complete n better but im not going to spend all day talking about how my life would be better if i started over i think im gonna do something about it ... i mean for example i jus changed the part in my hair and every 1 was saying how cute i looked n how awesome my hair was n they were jus being super nice! well i think im gonna stop doing as much crap on the weekends and start become more mature to a point where i am me but i have controll over my lost life! one thing that i really hate is that i cant commit to something like i will say that i will do something i jus dont ever get around to it or i dont feel like it .... but we all kno that is just me and its sad and rediculous that i have to be like that but im workin on it n im sorry to my hot friend that im doing this to! i was really sad cuz patric was sick today tear tear! and then i got home n got ready for a concert but it sucked ass i swear not my kinda music sorry guys! and then i went to wendys cuz my whole night went to waste so i gotta frostie to ease my pain! but its a bad thing b.c i have been turning to food for my problems like there wasnt a day this weekend that i didnt have donuts or pizza i swear i have gained weight i only think my jeans are getting bigger! well i think im gonna watch my fave show LAGUNA BEACH!
kiss kiss
-=* aMy