Another word I hereby forbid in romance novels

[barbarienne]

"Laving"

I am really, really tired of reading about heroes laving heroines with their tongues, but not on any specific body part

Comments

[rarelytame]

You have to admit it's better than when heroes "lathed" the heroine with their tongue, which I've bumped into in a MS submission at least once that I recall. (But I totally agree with you.)

[barbarienne]

LOL! The tragic part is that by the time I get a manuscript, it's been through copyedits. It's paid for and published by a major NY publishing house.

[kouaidou]

Laving? Really?

[barbarienne]

"Really" as in you can't believe they used it, or you can't believe I'm forbidding it?

[kouaidou]

The former. It surprises me that its use is common enough to require forbidding!

[barbarienne]

It's one of those words that pops up much too frequently in romance novels from this publisher. I think it's one of those things where they all read the same books and pick up the same cliche phrases. (See my earlier rants about "stop describing an orgasm as crashing waves" and "stop using 'pebble' metaphors to describe erect nipples.")

[icecreamempress]

I want to start a punk band called the Turgid Members.

[barbarienne]

I wonder how many people would ask, "The turgid members of what?"

[frigg]

I'm obviously not reading enough romance novels because this is the first time I've seen the word, I think. Had to look it up and now have strange images of hero grooming heroine like a cat.

[barbarienne]

Re the cat grooming: exactly. It's just too ridiculous.

I don't read romance novels; I just typeset them. Reading is sometimes an unavoidable side effect. Usually I arrange to talk to someone on the phone while I work (it's freelance at home), so the verbal side of my brain is occupied and doesn't try to read.

[kouaidou]

That's exactly what happened to me, too.

(Still not the worst sex metaphor I've ever seen, though. I wish it was.)

[ddrpolaris]

Does Ebil Gay Bad Guy have a mustache that's described in detail? Or a particular speech affectation or dialect?
Bonus horrible points for each of those.