I really Do Not Like how I'm feeling at the moment. It's 8.24 am and I haven't managed to sleep yet, even though I quit my game before 5 am and lay down in the almost-dark for almost an hour before giving up and reading on my phone again. I feel so desperate and frustrated, and my moods are all over the place ( Read more... )

You know what makes me really fuckin' angry? People who boast that they don't take any medications that are made in a lab. As I said to one of these loons today, you have no idea how lucky you are to have the CHOICE not to take prescription drugs. I personally have the choice of taking prescription drugs or dying ( Read more... )

I haven't been writing in my journal because I've been writing (crappy) fiction instead. Apparently, I entirely lack the spoons to write coherently about my life, or to be social with friends; but I can write coherent fanfic. Go figure. I miss being extroverted whenever I flip into introversion, since it's so alien to my "normal" state, but it ( Read more... )

Blargh. Definitely having a bipolar mixed state, with manic and depressive symptoms at the same time. It's frustrating as all hell because some of the things that relieve depression are totally contraindicated for a mixed state: I can't e.g. use my lightbox, because I'm already agitated, jittery, and overstimulated. I'm going to see how it goes for ( Read more... )

Oh, I am so pissed off, I really am. Spoke to my doctor this evening, and it turns out that my vitamin D level is WAY WAY low. Ridiculously low. The bottom of the reference range for "normal" is 75 nmol/L, and mine is 14When I phoned up the surgery three weeks ago to ask about the results of my blood test, this was the sort of information they were ( Read more... )

In other news, I have finally managed to get a telephone appointment with a doctor, and got the correct dose of carbamazepine. I've even been to the pharmacy to pick it up.

Hoping that normal ability-to-function will be restored shortly.

Life is strange at the moment. Still not on the right dose of carbamazepine because I am an idiot. I called the surgery last Wednesday to ask when the earliest telephone appointment with my doctor would be, and they said 11am tomorrow... so I didn't take it because I thought I'd be capable of getting into the surgery to see any old doctor before ( Read more... )

My brain hasn't been working properly for several days because I'm not on the right dose of my mood stabiliser. I normally take 500 mg made up of a 400 mg tablet and a 100 mg tablet, but the 100 mgs have dropped off the bottom of my repeat prescription - and I've had too many things I have to do at college to be able to see the doctor and get it ( Read more... )

Today I found myself having a SURPRISE PERIOD. At the age of 33, with a fairly regular menstrual cycle, I should know what the hell my body is doing at any given moment... right ( Read more... )

Do I know anyone who's a member of the Royal Institution? I'm quite interested in this talk: Quest for the holy grail of bipolar disorder: a better lithium, but it's members and their guests only. The grade of membership that gives free admittance to the Friday evening talks is £95 p.a., and the type where you have to pay £10 to attend the talks is ( Read more... )