Bilge comprised almost entirely of dasto.
Here follows an End User License Agreement from a piece of software that I was installing this evening (the computer connectivity of my Olympus digital voice recorder). I believe it was translated from Japanese to English using a machine and then not checked by a native English speaker, as it makes virtually no sense. I have bolded my favourite parts.
*** The use consent contract of the Olympus software product ***
The copyright of this software belongs to Olympus Imaging Corporation and its licenser.
This software is protected according to the copyright law and the international copyright treaty as well as the law and the treaty about other intellectual property.
The part or all of this software and a manual cannot be distributed and reproduced without notice in Olympus Imaging Corporation.
Moreover, the duplicate of the software for the purposes other than backup and the duplicate of a manual are forbidden.
This software and a manual can be used only by following the conditions of "the use consent contract of the Olympus software product."
Analysis, reverse engineering, a decompile, and carrying out a disassembly are forbidden about every portion of this software, DLL, or this software. Printing of the combination with this software and other applications, inclusion, and this software is also forbidden.
About every result produced by using this software, since Olympus Imaging Corporation cannot take any responsibility, please approve.
The contents of this software and a manual may be changed without a preliminary announcement by technical improvement of a product.
Software can be used only when consent is carried out at the following conditions.
Use consent contracts, such as software, were allowed to be materialized on the following conditions after use start among Olympus Imaging Corporation (it to be called the first among the following provision) and the visitors (it to be called the second among the following provision) who have the copyright of software.
The 1st article : Definition
(1) Software means all the programs contained in the Olympus software product.
(2) A manual means the handling description of the Olympus software product.
The 2nd article : Operating condition
(1) The second can install software in one computer.
(2) As for the second, only one part can create the duplicate thing of software for the purpose of backup of software.
The 3rd article : Prohibition matter
(1) The second must not distribute and reproduce the part or all of software without consent of the first.
(2) The second cannot create the duplicate thing of software without consent of the first except the case where it is indicated by this contract or the manual.
(3) The second cannot create the duplicate thing of a manual.
(4) The second cannot use software or a duplicate thing by two or more computers simultaneously.
(5) The second cannot carry out the duplicate thing of software and software, and a manual transfer, sale, and sublease.
(6) The second cannot carry out the secondary work of software and a manual creation, transfer, sale, and sublease except the case where it is indicated by this contract or the manual.
(7) The second cannot perform analysis, reverse engineering, a decompile, and disassembling about which portion of software, DLL, or software. Software cannot be combined with other application software of which, or it cannot incorporate, and software cannot be printed, either.
The 4th article : Guarantee
The first will be restricted from the day which purchased the product with which the second contains software or software on 90th, and when the serious physical defect which is the grade which cannot fully achieve the function exists in the disk with which software is recorded, disks are exchanged for nothing.
The 5th article : Exemption from obligation
(1) The guarantee to the second of the first concerning software limits to the guarantee range set to the preceding article.
(2) Let the first be which thing that the second or the third person covered and that does not take responsibility about direct or an indirect claim, and damage, either based on acts, such as use of software.
The 6th article : Contract term
(1) This contract goes into effect from the day which received the product with which the second contains software or software. (2) When the second breaks the provision of this contract, this contract shall be canceled and the second shall return software to the first immediately. In addition, the price of software is not returned in this case.
What on earth is going on with all that "software or software" business? I can only assume that Japanese has two words to describe different types of software and English only has one.
But I have to ask... on the basis that large amounts of this license agreement make absolutely no sense even to a person well-versed in "Engrish", is it enforceable in British or EU law? Is it the sort of thing that a lawyer would love to take on, or the sort of thing they'd run away screaming from?
*** The use consent contract of the Olympus software product ***
The copyright of this software belongs to Olympus Imaging Corporation and its licenser.
This software is protected according to the copyright law and the international copyright treaty as well as the law and the treaty about other intellectual property.
The part or all of this software and a manual cannot be distributed and reproduced without notice in Olympus Imaging Corporation.
Moreover, the duplicate of the software for the purposes other than backup and the duplicate of a manual are forbidden.
This software and a manual can be used only by following the conditions of "the use consent contract of the Olympus software product."
Analysis, reverse engineering, a decompile, and carrying out a disassembly are forbidden about every portion of this software, DLL, or this software. Printing of the combination with this software and other applications, inclusion, and this software is also forbidden.
About every result produced by using this software, since Olympus Imaging Corporation cannot take any responsibility, please approve.
The contents of this software and a manual may be changed without a preliminary announcement by technical improvement of a product.
Software can be used only when consent is carried out at the following conditions.
Use consent contracts, such as software, were allowed to be materialized on the following conditions after use start among Olympus Imaging Corporation (it to be called the first among the following provision) and the visitors (it to be called the second among the following provision) who have the copyright of software.
The 1st article : Definition
(1) Software means all the programs contained in the Olympus software product.
(2) A manual means the handling description of the Olympus software product.
The 2nd article : Operating condition
(1) The second can install software in one computer.
(2) As for the second, only one part can create the duplicate thing of software for the purpose of backup of software.
The 3rd article : Prohibition matter
(1) The second must not distribute and reproduce the part or all of software without consent of the first.
(2) The second cannot create the duplicate thing of software without consent of the first except the case where it is indicated by this contract or the manual.
(3) The second cannot create the duplicate thing of a manual.
(4) The second cannot use software or a duplicate thing by two or more computers simultaneously.
(5) The second cannot carry out the duplicate thing of software and software, and a manual transfer, sale, and sublease.
(6) The second cannot carry out the secondary work of software and a manual creation, transfer, sale, and sublease except the case where it is indicated by this contract or the manual.
(7) The second cannot perform analysis, reverse engineering, a decompile, and disassembling about which portion of software, DLL, or software. Software cannot be combined with other application software of which, or it cannot incorporate, and software cannot be printed, either.
The 4th article : Guarantee
The first will be restricted from the day which purchased the product with which the second contains software or software on 90th, and when the serious physical defect which is the grade which cannot fully achieve the function exists in the disk with which software is recorded, disks are exchanged for nothing.
The 5th article : Exemption from obligation
(1) The guarantee to the second of the first concerning software limits to the guarantee range set to the preceding article.
(2) Let the first be which thing that the second or the third person covered and that does not take responsibility about direct or an indirect claim, and damage, either based on acts, such as use of software.
The 6th article : Contract term
(1) This contract goes into effect from the day which received the product with which the second contains software or software. (2) When the second breaks the provision of this contract, this contract shall be canceled and the second shall return software to the first immediately. In addition, the price of software is not returned in this case.
What on earth is going on with all that "software or software" business? I can only assume that Japanese has two words to describe different types of software and English only has one.
But I have to ask... on the basis that large amounts of this license agreement make absolutely no sense even to a person well-versed in "Engrish", is it enforceable in British or EU law? Is it the sort of thing that a lawyer would love to take on, or the sort of thing they'd run away screaming from?