Oh yeah..... GOOD JOB......
So remember how I said I had made the e-mails to do something about my depression? I mean FINALLY after years and years of not being able to do anything because of my fear that doctors would think I was nuts?? Yeah.... that......
Well I e-mailled this place, she mailed, we rang and made an appointment, after a rather detailed explination from me where I explained to her that I don't like to leave the house alone, go to appointment and drive in America... yeah her....
I went to my appointment yesterday..... after I find out a half-hour before I go that, its in the MIDDLE OF SEATTLE and I only have the GPS to find it. I THOUGHT I had booking to a place in downtown Bellevue, its much closer but still nerve shredding to get to. Anyway after the DPS GETTING LOST - WTF????? - I find the place, I squeeze into the tiny lanes of a huge parking garage and park the car, then feel creeped out by the huge mostly empty parking garge thinking that I was probably going to be killed by some mental person with a gun or something, find that the building is IN 2 HALFS and I need to be on the other side, FINALLY finding the place, the waiting room is a small box, dimly lit and smelling wierd... I still don't know what the smell was, kinda like damp and something else at the same time, it made me want to cough. I was about an hour early, because of the freak out of having to drive into the city, I left me plenty of time. So I sit in this little room and read, I was so glad I took my Kindle. At one point one door opens and a woman looks out, and then shuts the door.... weird. Then about an hour later another woman comes in and goes in the other door, she did some stuff getting water and crap.... doesn't say a WORD... I mean I am waiting and she works there..... wierd. I didn't say anything cuz I was freaked from driving and I just don't do that. Then she shuts her door too... and I sit there, not knowing what time it is anyway cuz I don't have a watch.
Then this couple come in and sit down, I am kinda annoyed cuz they are talking bout stuff and making phone calls and crap and I'm trying to read. They also don't say anything to me, not that I really care, they are not there for me anyway. The first woman comes out and takes them in her office. I keep reading, and reading and.... try to find out if my Kindle will show me the time cuz I know I been there for maybe an hour and a half and its gotta be past the time I was supposed to have my appointment. I finally find that my kindle will show me the time and its 2.45, I got there just after 1 and my appointment was at 2. I was pretty sure at this point that my appointment MUST of been in Bellevue and I came to the right place. I wait a bit longer while trying to make myself get up and knock on the other door to find out if I came to the wrong place, at about 2.50 as a guy comes in the other woman comes out and asks me if I am waiting for someone.... WELL HELL NO LADY, I'VE JUST BEEN SITTING HERE 2 FUCKING HOURS.
Turns out she was the right person AND SHE FUCKING FORGOT. I drove to the city and waited 2 HOURS (I admit one hour was my fault for being that early) BUT SHE FORGOT. No recollection of even talking to me, even tho she called me and e-mailled me sent me instuctions on where the parking was and forms to fill in ...... AND SHE FORGOT.
She was all apologetic and stuff cuz she wasted my time, and of course she wasn't gonna charge me - THE HELL SHE WAS - and that the next time would be free, and would I like to reshedule. I asked her about Belluvue, apparently that was an experiment and shes not gonna be there anymore but she can see me thins Sunday and after that I will have to go to her there but she will VALIDATE my PARKING, cuz she normally doesn't do that..... WHAT THE HELL? I was trying very hard not to burst into tears because I was just so shocked.... so I agreed to seeing her Sunday knowing that it would never work, how can I trust my mental health to a woman who can't even remember I have an appointment, and is gonna charge me about $200 an hour (tho the heath fund would of payed for a good chunk of money before I would ever have to fork over any money) but then FORGETS.
So I leave and drive home in the start of rush hour traffic with a GPS that didn't get a lock for a good 10 minutes while I drove around, completely lost in the back-streets of Seattle somewhere, cuz it cant get a lock in an underground garage where the car was parked. By the time I got home I was pretty worked up, and pretty dammed angry as well. I mean how fucking lucky is this woman that I'm not suicidal... I could of walking into traffic after SHE FORGETS ME. It's bad enough that my mind is suggesting that maybe she saw me, and then decided that she didn't want to treat me for some reason.
Scott is MORE angry than me, hes SEETHING..... I kinda wish he did ring her and yell at her.
So I have just rang to cancel, got a voice mail cuz this woman is never in the office it seems, and doesn't check her e-mail. I told her that I was cancelling and didn't need to reschedule because its a pain for me to go to Seattle and I would find someone else. LETS HOPE SHE REMEMBERS ME NOW. I didn't leave my phone number, let her work that out, shes got e-mail from me and the fucking forms I left her.
Anyway, I have e-mailled a dude in Bellevue, but if this goes bad as well I'm not gonna do anything more, I don't know what I will do, walking into traffic might be a good option.