I spiked your cup with angst and a heart attack.
I havent written in this since a fairly vague entry about a month and a half ago. I need to give you guys the low down of my year. Torie was saying that she has no clue what's going on with me this year, and I want to write about how my entire year has been up until now.
Boys: Boys have fucking sucked. This summer Alex Cragan and I started flirting. Like I didn't even realize he had feelings for me and then after not hearing from him all summer he texts me and starts saying things like "Allie, I love you." and writing things in my honesty box like "marry me-alex cragan". It was adorable, I hadn't felt that liked in a long time. We started getting sort of "serious" but he still had a thing with Jaime Webster. Him and I talked a lot and I told him that I thought he was going to use me. I told him that over and over and he always told me "No, I would never do that Allie. Trust me Allie, I would never do that." and eventually I stupidly believed him. He ended his thing with Jaime for me. He told me we were going to go out. A week or so later him and I hooked up. After we hooked up I didn't hear from him for three mother fucking days. I was so absolutely crushed. I was so angry. I cried and cried and cried. I was in horrible horrible shape. Just thinking about it puts me on the verge of tears. I really liked Alex. I was so fucking angry at myself for believing him. A boy hadn't told me he liked me to get in my pants since middle school. I was not ready for that again. I thought these boys had grown up; I was so fucking wrong. This story is the basis for my vague last entry.
During the aftermath of Alexander, Paul Bosco and I started talking again. I forgot how fucking awesome that kid was. Watching him like Allie hurt me a little, but I never let it show. It always bothered me that she didn't like him though. I would have like payed a good amount of money to date that kid, and he fucking gave her roses and she turned him down. Paul is in two of my classes, and I see him sometimes during E block. I forgot how fucking hot that kid is too. I think Paul is one of the best looking kids in our school. For some reason I went from liking little scrawny boys who wore tight jeans to being completely AMAZED by guys in football uniforms. I thought jacked guys were gross until extremely recently. All of a sudden I was noticing guys muscles. Like I have never done that in my whole life. The fact that Paul is such a huge kid made him that much hotter. Like that kid is a motherfucking beast. Plus he has absolutely AMAZING hair. Like amazing. I sit behind him in latin and just stare at his reflection shamelessly, and he catches me like eight times a class. Paul and I had the best conversations. I really liked him. For some reason I think Paul and I would be amazing together. I was convinced he would never like me. He was far too good looking for me. I was far to smart for him. I did not hide the fact that I liked Paul, well I didn't hide it from everyone but Paul. I would always pretend I didn't like Paul, at least when him and I were discussing. Apparently that was the WRONG decision. One day Paul and I were hanging out at a soccer game, and Carly Streeter was there. Carly looked at him and asked her friend, "Who is that?" and her friend replied, "That's Paul Bosco." Carly looked and said, "He's dope. Can I get his number?" and that's when Paul and I ended. I no longer had a chance whatsoever. A hot, blonde, skinny senior wanted on, and the not so hot, brunette, skinny sophomore slut was out of the picture. I decided to tell Paul that I did in fact like him. His response, "Oh, nice. Well Carly's here, so I have to go." Yeah, I got fucking SHUT DOWN. I still like him, we don't talk very much anymore but when we do we always have the same amazing conversations. At least Carly's going to college next year.
Writing about those two incidents made me extremely sad.
Oh yeah, remember that kid named Max? Yeah, I hardly think about him anymore. He's in my english class. Honestly I don't think about him at all. Like I don't look at him in class, I don't beg for his attention, I actually like purposely don't talk to him. I don't know what I used to see in him. Actually, that's a lie, I still know what I saw, but I'm not infatuated by him anymore. I am so fucking glad I got over that. For god sakes.
School: Schools actually going really well. U.S. History is an amazing class. My teacher, Mr.Hoblitzelle, is sooo great. Like I hate U.S. but he makes it completely worthwhile. Latin is soo easy this year. Like last year I had to look up every single word there was, but this year I can sight read everything. I'm still not too good at grammer, but is excruciatingly easier this year, I love it (Of course, it's not the same without Char Char. But I do have her book from last year, so at least she's there in spirit). My math class if a fucking joke. My teacher is horrible and none of the other kids in my class care, but it's easy and I get all A's, so I don't really care too much. My english class sucked for the longest time, like so boring I could barely sit through the whole class, but we just changed seats and it's getting a lot better. My bio class is absolutely fucking amazing, probably because I'm the only one who ever gets it. I understand everything really easily, I absolutely love it. I guess the only other class I'm taking is gym, which isn't really that bad, but I'm not a gym girl.
Friends: My friends are amazing. LIke I have soo much fun with my friends. I love them all to death. I feel so lucky to have them.
Other than that my life is the most boring thing on earth. So boring it makes me sad. Literally I come home from school everyday and count down the minutes until I can go to bed. Its horrible. Like I wish I had friends I could hang out with everyday after school, or like a sport to play. I'm fucking considering being a cheerleader so that I don't have to sit at home all day long. I'm going to try out for basketball so that I don't have to sit at home all day. I cannot stand it anymore. Talking about this makes me feel like crying too. I wish my life was fun. I wish I HAD a life. I have nothing to do anymore and I don't think I'll be able to stand it for much longer.
Boys: Boys have fucking sucked. This summer Alex Cragan and I started flirting. Like I didn't even realize he had feelings for me and then after not hearing from him all summer he texts me and starts saying things like "Allie, I love you." and writing things in my honesty box like "marry me-alex cragan". It was adorable, I hadn't felt that liked in a long time. We started getting sort of "serious" but he still had a thing with Jaime Webster. Him and I talked a lot and I told him that I thought he was going to use me. I told him that over and over and he always told me "No, I would never do that Allie. Trust me Allie, I would never do that." and eventually I stupidly believed him. He ended his thing with Jaime for me. He told me we were going to go out. A week or so later him and I hooked up. After we hooked up I didn't hear from him for three mother fucking days. I was so absolutely crushed. I was so angry. I cried and cried and cried. I was in horrible horrible shape. Just thinking about it puts me on the verge of tears. I really liked Alex. I was so fucking angry at myself for believing him. A boy hadn't told me he liked me to get in my pants since middle school. I was not ready for that again. I thought these boys had grown up; I was so fucking wrong. This story is the basis for my vague last entry.
During the aftermath of Alexander, Paul Bosco and I started talking again. I forgot how fucking awesome that kid was. Watching him like Allie hurt me a little, but I never let it show. It always bothered me that she didn't like him though. I would have like payed a good amount of money to date that kid, and he fucking gave her roses and she turned him down. Paul is in two of my classes, and I see him sometimes during E block. I forgot how fucking hot that kid is too. I think Paul is one of the best looking kids in our school. For some reason I went from liking little scrawny boys who wore tight jeans to being completely AMAZED by guys in football uniforms. I thought jacked guys were gross until extremely recently. All of a sudden I was noticing guys muscles. Like I have never done that in my whole life. The fact that Paul is such a huge kid made him that much hotter. Like that kid is a motherfucking beast. Plus he has absolutely AMAZING hair. Like amazing. I sit behind him in latin and just stare at his reflection shamelessly, and he catches me like eight times a class. Paul and I had the best conversations. I really liked him. For some reason I think Paul and I would be amazing together. I was convinced he would never like me. He was far too good looking for me. I was far to smart for him. I did not hide the fact that I liked Paul, well I didn't hide it from everyone but Paul. I would always pretend I didn't like Paul, at least when him and I were discussing. Apparently that was the WRONG decision. One day Paul and I were hanging out at a soccer game, and Carly Streeter was there. Carly looked at him and asked her friend, "Who is that?" and her friend replied, "That's Paul Bosco." Carly looked and said, "He's dope. Can I get his number?" and that's when Paul and I ended. I no longer had a chance whatsoever. A hot, blonde, skinny senior wanted on, and the not so hot, brunette, skinny sophomore slut was out of the picture. I decided to tell Paul that I did in fact like him. His response, "Oh, nice. Well Carly's here, so I have to go." Yeah, I got fucking SHUT DOWN. I still like him, we don't talk very much anymore but when we do we always have the same amazing conversations. At least Carly's going to college next year.
Writing about those two incidents made me extremely sad.
Oh yeah, remember that kid named Max? Yeah, I hardly think about him anymore. He's in my english class. Honestly I don't think about him at all. Like I don't look at him in class, I don't beg for his attention, I actually like purposely don't talk to him. I don't know what I used to see in him. Actually, that's a lie, I still know what I saw, but I'm not infatuated by him anymore. I am so fucking glad I got over that. For god sakes.
School: Schools actually going really well. U.S. History is an amazing class. My teacher, Mr.Hoblitzelle, is sooo great. Like I hate U.S. but he makes it completely worthwhile. Latin is soo easy this year. Like last year I had to look up every single word there was, but this year I can sight read everything. I'm still not too good at grammer, but is excruciatingly easier this year, I love it (Of course, it's not the same without Char Char. But I do have her book from last year, so at least she's there in spirit). My math class if a fucking joke. My teacher is horrible and none of the other kids in my class care, but it's easy and I get all A's, so I don't really care too much. My english class sucked for the longest time, like so boring I could barely sit through the whole class, but we just changed seats and it's getting a lot better. My bio class is absolutely fucking amazing, probably because I'm the only one who ever gets it. I understand everything really easily, I absolutely love it. I guess the only other class I'm taking is gym, which isn't really that bad, but I'm not a gym girl.
Friends: My friends are amazing. LIke I have soo much fun with my friends. I love them all to death. I feel so lucky to have them.
Other than that my life is the most boring thing on earth. So boring it makes me sad. Literally I come home from school everyday and count down the minutes until I can go to bed. Its horrible. Like I wish I had friends I could hang out with everyday after school, or like a sport to play. I'm fucking considering being a cheerleader so that I don't have to sit at home all day long. I'm going to try out for basketball so that I don't have to sit at home all day. I cannot stand it anymore. Talking about this makes me feel like crying too. I wish my life was fun. I wish I HAD a life. I have nothing to do anymore and I don't think I'll be able to stand it for much longer.