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VulgarInViolet (7:01:16 PM): Kaoru took a long, deep breath, taking the last bit of life out of his cigarette before throwing it to the side. he stared at Miyavi's door for a long second before he actually managed to work up the courage to knock. He looked down and waited for an answer, a bit nervous and regreting the way he'd treated Miyavi the past few weeks. It was Kaoru's way-to runaway as soon as thing felt too real.
PunkyEmoFreak (7:03:02 PM): Miyavi took a long drag from his cigarette when he heard someone knocking at the door. He swore to god if it was another salesmen he was going to murder them. "Coming..." He called dully before putting out the half-smoked cigarette as he made his way to the door and opened. Face to Face with Kaoru, Miyavi just stared. He was upset with the other man. But his face showed no emotion, like it had when Kaoru and him first met. "Hey..."
VulgarInViolet (7:08:58 PM): His dark eyes fluttered up and he cleared his throat a bit. "...hello, Miyavi." He spoke soft and low, like always. There was a long, awkward pause in which his own eye fluttered from place to place. He could feel Miyavi's anger, despite the stoic demenor he offered. He finally spoke again, short and simple. "I'm sorry."
PunkyEmoFreak (7:16:10 PM): "It's fine..." Miyachi said sortly, shrugging one of his shoulders as though he didn't know why Kaoru was aplolgizing. And in a sense, he really didn't. He didn't even know why he was so angry. That was what they do, right? Don't get attached. Damn the other man for breaking down his walls. And showing up now didn't help him to put them back up, "Do you want to come in?"
VulgarInViolet (7:40:02 PM): Kaoru apologized a bit and moved past Miyavi. He didn't hug him, seemingly as precaution. He was so bad at this, made worse by the fact he really did care for Miyavi. He took a small breath and sat on the edge of the couch. "I...was gone longer then I expected." He stated, mostly just to appease the silence.
PunkyEmoFreak (7:40:26 PM): "I realized that." Miyavi said sitting back on the oppsite side of the couch where he was before and taking a long drink of the beer he had next to his pack of cigarettes. He really didn't like that he was being so cold and distant to Kaoru, as though this was the first time they met. Then he realized, he was even nicer then.
VulgarInViolet (7:44:27 PM): He glanced carefully towards Miyavi, his head tilting a bit as he got lost. Oh god, he'd forgotten how beautiful the man really was. He sighed a little, and resigned to being the first to break when he spoke honestly, and sweetly. "...I went there to...think. About things," he said and cleared his throat. His voice got a bit softer and he lifted hi gaze to Miyavi agian. "But all I could think about was you." There it was. His vunerability was his silent peace offering.
PunkyEmoFreak (7:46:51 PM): "Why would you need to think about me, Kaoru?" He asked, closing his eyes, trying to maintain the walls that barely had a change to regrow. "We don't think about others, remember? We do distance, we don't do love. You said so yourself." Ahhh. That four letter word he had tried to avoide from laying. But hell, it wasn't going to hurt just mentioning it.
VulgarInViolet (7:57:31 PM): He shook his head a bit and shrugged-he almost laughed at the absurditiy of what he was about to say, "I couldn't help it-all I could think was how much I wanted to be next to you-near you. In anyway possible, and I can't explain it..." Kaoru found himself spilling his secrete-feelings he would normally never say outloud. But he thought is Miyavi was already upset with him, what did he have to loose? It was now or never. "And maybe I should try to explain it. Maybe I should...just feel it," this is what they call a minor breakthrough. He turned his body towards the man. "And what if it is...love, Miyavi? What I'm feeling?"
PunkyEmoFreak (8:01:04 PM): Miyavi nearly choked on the deer he had been drinking when he heard the last words come from Kaoru. When he had mentioned they don't do love, he hadn't expected Kaoru to rbing that word up again. Especially... not like that. He could hardly believe what he was about to say. Normally he would have just said some scarcastic remark about how love doesn't exist and its only in the mind of children and in faire tales, "Kaoru... That's not..." He didn't know how to say it. It's not what? Possible? Sure it was. He had thought about it more then once as of late. "It it is... is love, Kaoru... what do we do about it, exactly?"
PunkyEmoFreak (8:01:11 PM): If it is*
VulgarInViolet (8:10:13 PM): He moved a bit closer to Miyavi. Kaoru was not a risk taker. This was a different Kaoru. The Kaoru that Miyavi brought out-the one that kissed him outside of the hospital-the one that wasn't afraid. He shrugged his shoulder again. "If it is...I don't know," he resigned with a small, relived sigh. His tone seemed to shift, he almost sounded happy. "I've never been in love. But whatever I am feeling-doesn't feel...bad." Kaoru was one of those people who assumed for things to be real they had to be painful, and this was different. Very different.
PunkyEmoFreak (8:13:39 PM): Miyavi pushed some bangs out of his own face, just simply for something to do with his hands. Everything Kaoru was saying was what he was feeling himself. Love didn't exist for him. Never before... this couldn't be really.. it? "Kaoru..." He started, had he been anyone else his voice would have been shaking with was he was about to admit, "You won't leave my damn head. Every minute of every god damn day has been consumed with thoughts of you. And not the kind where I want t just kill you for leaving... but the ones where I want to hold you, making you never want to leave again. And I don't know what that really means... But I do know... That..." He pasued, his eyes darting away from Kaoru, "That I don't want youto leave again."
VulgarInViolet (8:47:56 PM): He moved over on the couch again, closing the space between them. he was quiet for a moment, listening to miyavi speak, his finger floating up to help push those bangs free of his face-that fave-the one Kaoru had been dreaming about. His lips curled a bit and he nodded. "Ok. ....love....or not. How about I just...don't leave again?"
PunkyEmoFreak (8:48:55 PM): Miyavi looked at him now, not quite a smile on his face, but a hell of a lot more emotion thne he had been showing towards the other. He pushed Kaoru's hair from his face and leaned in close to him, almost close enough to kiss him, "I'll have to tie you down if you even think about it."