(no subject)
so i got kicked out of my house at the end of june.. well middle i suppose. I did not do anything major, it was just constant fighting every day and it needed to stop and that meant me leaving I suppose.
So, anyways, I rented an apartment (with my sister) and my sister has YET to move in!
I am pretty pissed because I have never been alone and I have a major issue with being alone for extended periods of time.
So needless to say I do not like it very much. I love being on my own but I hate being alone.
Zach and I are still together,
things have not been very easy the past few months but we've been working through everything and shit.
He's working at a dealership now so the wedding may not be too far away maybe next summer?
or something ionno we really haven't had time to talk about the good things lately.
I love him and he loves me so we're going to be alright in the end.
I had surgery last Friday to finally find out why I've been having pain in my abdominal for two years now.
It went alright but I suck with pain so it has not been easy.
Zachary took great care of me though it was nice to be taken care of again lol.
Things have just been hard and I don't know if I can take it sometimes,
but in the end everything will work out,
I hope.
The only good things I have going at the time is school and Zach, which is all that I really need right now.
I miss Chance lol. He's my dog I love him so much!
I got him for my birthday like six years ago and I hate not being home.
I did not get to play with him all the time but he used to sleep in my room with Angel (my cat) by my feet
and Chancey on the floor next to me. I use to feel so secure and relaxed with him around. I miss feeling safe.
I have panic attacks at night now.
I don't know why but I do.
I just hate being alone it's the worst feeling in the world.
I know I'm not really alone, but at night that's what it feels like.
Ugh, I have also given up on most of my friends from highschool.
I only talk to a few, most have moved on and the others just don't care.
But yeah, life goes on and people change. I should have expected it,
I know I should have but I didn't. Anyways, I'm hungry lol
Laterz!