(no subject)
There exists a growing hunger
Deep within my soul
It threatens to rip right through me
And devour me whole
Last night I had a dream. Rather, a nightmare. In my horrid vision, I gave into my rage, my anger, my hate. I can't remember the details- don't want to remember the details- but near the end of it, I yelled at someone. But not just anyone. Not the assistant manager who I can't stand or some customer that pissed me off recently, but a friend. A close friend. I screamed at him, belittled him, verbally ripped him apart. More over, I told him- correction: shreiked- that I hated him, that I hated everyone. So consumed in the fire of my unending rage was I that I didn't relent when his expression became hurt. I was just so angry I couldn't see anything but my burning desire for destruction.
I was so terrified by this vision that I awoke with a start and I was already crying. Thinking back to it now, I'm crying again. Everyday, I bottle up all the anger I feel, fighting to keep it below the surface. Everyday, I'm afraid it'll become too much to hold and I'll snap at someone I care about. It terrifies me.
Deep within my soul
It threatens to rip right through me
And devour me whole
Last night I had a dream. Rather, a nightmare. In my horrid vision, I gave into my rage, my anger, my hate. I can't remember the details- don't want to remember the details- but near the end of it, I yelled at someone. But not just anyone. Not the assistant manager who I can't stand or some customer that pissed me off recently, but a friend. A close friend. I screamed at him, belittled him, verbally ripped him apart. More over, I told him- correction: shreiked- that I hated him, that I hated everyone. So consumed in the fire of my unending rage was I that I didn't relent when his expression became hurt. I was just so angry I couldn't see anything but my burning desire for destruction.
I was so terrified by this vision that I awoke with a start and I was already crying. Thinking back to it now, I'm crying again. Everyday, I bottle up all the anger I feel, fighting to keep it below the surface. Everyday, I'm afraid it'll become too much to hold and I'll snap at someone I care about. It terrifies me.