(Untitled)

[bampete]

I hate myself and for once I just want to die.
Everything I do, I do wrong.
Nobody holds on to me.
Mom's being horrible.
I wish I was someone better.
I'm just a waste of space.
I just wish god'd strike me with thunder so I wouldn't have to hurt anymore.
I hate my life.
bye

ps. cut myself again. sigh. ds.

Comments

[whoa4u]

:( Oh no. What happened, love?

*hugs you*

[bampete]

who happend, rather.
she's breaking my heart.

[whoa4u]

Oh dear. Is it your mom or Emma? :/

*hugs you again*

[bampete]

wrong and wrong. Or, I mean mom always hurts me and I have to go eat at her place tomorrow, I think, and she'll probably bitch out on me then. And I'm very scared about that.
But no. None of them. Louisa.

[whoa4u]

Yeah, I figured that out after I commented you. About the Louisa bit, I mean.

[bampete]

Thought so.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to lose her.
I feel so helpless.

[whoa4u]

Just give her time, love. I'm sure everything will be okay eventually. Just not now, you know? But it will get better.

[bampete]

It seems like she kinda hates me right now.
Nothing is ever really okay in my life and I'm starting to doubt that she'll ever take me back as a friend and so on...

[whoa4u]

I don't think she hates you.

Aww, Caroline. :( You never know, she might once she's ready.

[bampete]

I just... she's so stubborn.
I fucking miss her and it hurrrrrts and I'm bad at dealing with the fact that people I love hurt me. It just makes me totally break. I doubt I'll sleep much tonight.

[whoa4u]

:(

You'll get through this eventually, love. I know you will.

[bampete]

I just can't deal with everything.

[whoa4u]

I'm sorry, love. I wish I could make you feel better right now. :/

[bampete]

I can barely sleep.
I constantly cry.
I feel fat and ugly and suicidal like never before.
I hate it. =(

[whoa4u]

Oh dear. :( Just hold on, love. But don't hurt yourself! Please.

[bampete]

Trying to. I'll try.