Chapter 10!
Sent: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 4:56 am
Subject: Chapter 10 to my VAM story
Summary of story: Will Bam marry Missy, should he?
Summary of chapter: the aftermath of misunderstandings
Chapter 1: Unexpected Company
Chapter 2: Ville's Dream
Chapter 3: Bam's Party
Chapter 4: Missy's Devotedness
Chapter 5: Ville's Arrival
Chapter 6: An Unknown Misunderstanding
Chapter 6: Can you find me?
Chapter 7: Hidden Guests
Chapter 8: Never Knowing
(Continued on December 22nd 2006)
Bam had left Ville's doorway to hid out. upon reaching his room, he closed the door surprisingly lightly for his mood. He collapsed onto his bed, breaking down into tears. He retrieved some drinks from his mini-fridge in his room. He started out with beers, when he ran out of beer, he moved on to the next harder drink, Vodka. His head began to hurt, so he decided to take some Tylenol for his pain. The headache cam from crying too much. Yet, as he opened the pill bottle, he spilled out about ten tablets. Shrugging his shoulders to himself, he poured all ten in his mouth, tossing his head back to swallow them with his Vodka. Once that stock was empty. Bam began to drink Jack Daniels straight. As he was almost halfway done with his bottle, he was drowsy. Setting his bottle back onto his night-stand, he laid back and let the sleep take over.
Within 20 minutes of hims passing out, he awoke abruptly. He tasted bile in the back of his throat. Raising up off the bed, he ran to the nearest trash can. It was by the bathroom, he meant to get to the toilet, but couldn't make it.By the time he reached the can, he was feeling light-headed and dizzy. Leaning over it, gripping onto it so hard his knuckles turned white. His body shook as the first wave of vomit spilled out. Once he caught his breath, he steadied himself. Taking small baby steps, he made it back to the bed. Turning, he sat down on the mattress. His body began to convulse, he reached for the wastebasket, but the bile over whelmed him, so that he got the side of it, spilling some on the floor. His body kept at this a few more times. After the fourth time by the bed, he thought he was done. Laying back, exhausted and throat sore. He passed out again.
**************************************************
Ville walked down stairs, wanting the cold air. After what he had just done with Bert, he wasn't understanding what he felt. He thought he'd feel great after getting all the sexual tension out of his system, but he didn't. Instead, he felt dirty, miserable, disgusted with himself completely. As he gets to the main floor, April walks in with Missy. April smiled genuinely up at him, while Missy's was a forced smile.
"There you are, have you seen Bam?"
"No, not since this morning. Why, has he gone missing?"
"Doubt it, he's probably just hidden, so he can prank someone. I only asked you because he was supposed to invite you and your friend to a early dinner with Phil and me."
Then Missy spoke, "I recall, seeing Bam go up the staircase, but he never came back down before I left."
Ville's curiosity was eating at him.
April interrupted his thoughts, "So, where is your guest for the holiday?"
Ville answered honestly, "Upstairs sleeping, he was exhausted and what's that you get after air travel?"
April filled in, "Jet-lag?"
Ville nodded Yes.
After giving her a hug and waving at the others that were in the house, he decided to run up the stairs two at a time. He headed for Bam's master bedroom, the one he remembered as Phil's & April's old room. When Ville reached the door, he paused.
What if he's not here? More important, what if he is?
Shaking the thoughts away, he grabbed the knob, twisting it slowly.
It's unlocked, he ain't here.
Yet he felt drawn to go in anyways. What he saw made him almost cry out.
Beer, liquor, and other bottles littered the room. That was the least to worry about. Then his eyes moved up from Bam's feet, still in his Audios. He got to Bam's head, but couldn't see his face. So he walked around the master king sized bed. Bam's face lay near the pillows, face tear streaked, shown up by the makeup he'd warn that day.Ville smelled it before he seen it, vomit. When he could see some it was on the floor near the bed, then looking up, he seen it was on the bed too, not too far from Bam's face. As Ville looked closer, he noticed something colored in the puke. He squinted his eyes, coming to realize that they were pills, many dots of color.
Oh my god! He's dead!
Then he got himself together. Ville reached out his left hand to check Bam's pulse.
It's beating, he's alive!
Bam's pulse and breathing were shallow, but steady.
Ville picked up his Bammie-Boy, setting him on the floor, his head on a towel. He got a cleaning cloth, gently raised Bam's head up, wiping off the remains of vomit from his mouth and chin. Ville goes and rinses out the rag, only to drowned it in cold water. Returning to Bam's side, trying to cool him, removing the sweat. Ville laid Bam's head back down on his towel-pillow. Ville cleaned up the mess, thankfully, Bam had hit the trash can more than missed it.Ville stripped the bed sheets, found some fresh sheets in the master bathroom cabinets. When he'd completed his tasks, he relocated Bammie to his clean bed, covered him up, sat on the bed beside him. Ville did what felt natural, rubbing hi head. Shortly after he began to hum, then softly sing the first son that cam to his mind, "Face Of God". Not realizing the scene was almost the same from his long ago dream.
**************************************************
Bam felt long fingers run through his hair, enjoying the caring gesture. He was so warn out, figured when all went black the last time, he was dead or dying. He heard a faint tune he recognized but couldn't place at first because he was so disoriented. He just relaxed as the mysterious hand massaged his head and hummed it's peaceful tune.
Ville had begun to sing under his breath, then shifted so he was laying down near Bam. He continued rubbing Bam's head, constantly watching for any signs of him waking up. Ville scooted over, moving closer to Bam, then leaning over his head to place a light kiss to Bam's forehead. Bam didn't have a fever and wasn't sweating anymore. Ville stopped his treatment of the skater's head to check his pulse. It felt at what was normal or close enough for him. He was so close to those soft lips, it was torture. Yet, Ville believed this was a deserved punishment after what he'd done with Bert. Ville finished singing "Face Of God", but another song came to mind. It was something new, he had only finished writing it just before coming to Castle Bam. ( This is before Venus Doom CD.) The song represented dreams long gone. he wrote it for Bam, about his feelings after he heard about Bam's engagement. He started to sing "Cyanide Sun".
Hell, he heard it from Jess before Bam told him. Ville knew Bam was with Missy off and on for half of his life, but never expected him to choose her to marry. Don't get him wrong, he wants Bam happy, if not with him, with someone who appreciated Bam. Missy seemed almost the right candidate, except on some occasions.
Like now, if Bam was truly happy, why did he go on a drinking binge and take so many pills? Either something or someone upset him. Doubt it was stress, unless he didn't really want to go through with his proposal. Could that be it? Is he having second thoughts? Oh God, I hope so! Maybe I still have a chance!
Then thinking more, he thought: No, I need to be realistic, Bam won't ever pick me, he's never noticed how I look at him, how I hug him differently from anyone else. I've never kissed him on his lips, because I'm afraid I'll not stop after only one taste. The other day when he kissed me, I had to think of Missy and Don Vito, so that I didn't respond. It was on of the hardest tasks I've ever had. Life was unfair, or is it not? There must be a reason for it. Maybe I wronged someone in this life or a past one. Either way, he'll never be mine, always someone else's. He loves me, as he loves Jess, Johny, Dunn, & Dico. I'll just have to come to terms of reality, forget the dreams and hopes.
Resigned to that fate, he continued "Cyanide Sun."
Bam now heard another tune, a sadder one. he moved into the hand touching his dark curls. Ville noticed Bam's movement, then timidly asked, "Bam? Bammie are you awake? If so, please answer me, or look at me?" Bam's wasn't sure he could speak, but when he heard Ville's voice Bam thought: I must've died, only which heaven or hell would have Ville with me? So, torture would be Hell, love and peace would be Heaven.
He opened his eyes, Bam could have believed he was dead and passed on to Heaven,
if Ville hadn't said, "You're alive. You're okay! Oh my God, I've never been so fucking scared in all of my life!"
Bam shrunken and coward slightly. Ville saw Bam's reaction and immediately felt awful for saying his last sentence.
"Bam, I'm sorry. I..." Ville paused.
Bam nodded for the Finn to continue.
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad, you must feel bad enough to have done what you did."
Ville stopped petting Bam's head and Bam set up slowly.
"What are you doing here? I mean in my room?"
Ville didn't know how he should answer.
Do I tell him because everyone was worried and couldn't find him or the truth? That I was the only worried person in the whole house.
Ville had come to a decision.
"Well, nobody had seen you for a while, Missy said something about you going upstairs, but not seeing you come back down yet. So, my curiosity go the best of me and here I am. Hey, look I was right."
Ville said with a grin. Bam couldn't stop himself from smiling too at Ville's pretend snobby attitude.
Bam had to ask, "What did you see when you walked in? What was the room like? And lastly, how did it all go away? I'm remembering it being a shit hole."
Ville told him, "I saw bottles and cans everywhere, smelled then saw that you'd gotten sick. I cleaned up your room. You were in no condition to do much, but rest up, seeing how you were unconscious."
Bam wiggled his toes under the covers, realizing he wasn't wearing his shoes anymore, then seen the base fitted sheet pattern wasn't what he'd seen before passing out. He pointed at it, looked as if he was poking the mattress.
"Is this the same as before? Am I losing it?
God I hope so, then Ville and Bert didn't do anything!
Ville smiled shyly, "I changed them, the other sheet was dirty."
Bam just nodded his head in agreement.
Then they really were together, I may be alive, but this is pure Hell!
Bam said out loud, "So, what time is it?"
Ville answered, "8 in the evening, I don't know what's going on downstairs, I've been up here for a while. Last I knew they were setting up for dinner."
"Then they've probably ended it by now too."
Ville said what he thought, "Oh well, I can get you something to eat, that's if you're hungry. Are you?"
Bam's tummy made some noise just then.
Ville smiled, "I'll go check out the rest of the house, okay?"
Bam grinned back with a nod.
Ville left Bam's room, to find a note taped on the outside to the bedroom door. Ville hadn't known he'd locked the door earlier. The note was from Missy, it read:
Dear Bam,
I hope it was everything you wanted.
Love Missy
Ville was so confused, but just pocketed the message until he got back to Bam. He found another on on the fridge, that let him know where the left-overs were. Bert had also left a note on there too. Under a few magnets,
Ville,
Thank you so much for inviting me, but well, let's say there's too much tension and stress for me here. I'll call you tomorrow to let you know where I'm staying at.
-Bert
Ville inwardly agreed. He opened the door to the refrigerator, looked over the containers, finding some cold chicken strips, salad, rolls, and dressing. He warmed up the chicken, got a couple bowls, put salad in both, sprinkled the meat into smaller pieces over the salad, adding a bit of cheese to them. He placed the bowls on a tray, setting the forks, rolls, and ranch dressing on the tray too. He seen another piece of paper:
I'm leaving this evening for a conference. Will be gone for a day or so. I should be back by Christmas Eve or Day.
-Missy
Ville added it to the other ones stuffed into his pocket. Finally got the tray up to Bam's room. Enters, only to find Bam gone from the bed.
End of Chapter 10
Started Chapter 11
Subject: Chapter 10 to my VAM story
Summary of story: Will Bam marry Missy, should he?
Summary of chapter: the aftermath of misunderstandings
Chapter 1: Unexpected Company
Chapter 2: Ville's Dream
Chapter 3: Bam's Party
Chapter 4: Missy's Devotedness
Chapter 5: Ville's Arrival
Chapter 6: An Unknown Misunderstanding
Chapter 6: Can you find me?
Chapter 7: Hidden Guests
Chapter 8: Never Knowing
(Continued on December 22nd 2006)
Bam had left Ville's doorway to hid out. upon reaching his room, he closed the door surprisingly lightly for his mood. He collapsed onto his bed, breaking down into tears. He retrieved some drinks from his mini-fridge in his room. He started out with beers, when he ran out of beer, he moved on to the next harder drink, Vodka. His head began to hurt, so he decided to take some Tylenol for his pain. The headache cam from crying too much. Yet, as he opened the pill bottle, he spilled out about ten tablets. Shrugging his shoulders to himself, he poured all ten in his mouth, tossing his head back to swallow them with his Vodka. Once that stock was empty. Bam began to drink Jack Daniels straight. As he was almost halfway done with his bottle, he was drowsy. Setting his bottle back onto his night-stand, he laid back and let the sleep take over.
Within 20 minutes of hims passing out, he awoke abruptly. He tasted bile in the back of his throat. Raising up off the bed, he ran to the nearest trash can. It was by the bathroom, he meant to get to the toilet, but couldn't make it.By the time he reached the can, he was feeling light-headed and dizzy. Leaning over it, gripping onto it so hard his knuckles turned white. His body shook as the first wave of vomit spilled out. Once he caught his breath, he steadied himself. Taking small baby steps, he made it back to the bed. Turning, he sat down on the mattress. His body began to convulse, he reached for the wastebasket, but the bile over whelmed him, so that he got the side of it, spilling some on the floor. His body kept at this a few more times. After the fourth time by the bed, he thought he was done. Laying back, exhausted and throat sore. He passed out again.
**************************************************
Ville walked down stairs, wanting the cold air. After what he had just done with Bert, he wasn't understanding what he felt. He thought he'd feel great after getting all the sexual tension out of his system, but he didn't. Instead, he felt dirty, miserable, disgusted with himself completely. As he gets to the main floor, April walks in with Missy. April smiled genuinely up at him, while Missy's was a forced smile.
"There you are, have you seen Bam?"
"No, not since this morning. Why, has he gone missing?"
"Doubt it, he's probably just hidden, so he can prank someone. I only asked you because he was supposed to invite you and your friend to a early dinner with Phil and me."
Then Missy spoke, "I recall, seeing Bam go up the staircase, but he never came back down before I left."
Ville's curiosity was eating at him.
April interrupted his thoughts, "So, where is your guest for the holiday?"
Ville answered honestly, "Upstairs sleeping, he was exhausted and what's that you get after air travel?"
April filled in, "Jet-lag?"
Ville nodded Yes.
After giving her a hug and waving at the others that were in the house, he decided to run up the stairs two at a time. He headed for Bam's master bedroom, the one he remembered as Phil's & April's old room. When Ville reached the door, he paused.
What if he's not here? More important, what if he is?
Shaking the thoughts away, he grabbed the knob, twisting it slowly.
It's unlocked, he ain't here.
Yet he felt drawn to go in anyways. What he saw made him almost cry out.
Beer, liquor, and other bottles littered the room. That was the least to worry about. Then his eyes moved up from Bam's feet, still in his Audios. He got to Bam's head, but couldn't see his face. So he walked around the master king sized bed. Bam's face lay near the pillows, face tear streaked, shown up by the makeup he'd warn that day.Ville smelled it before he seen it, vomit. When he could see some it was on the floor near the bed, then looking up, he seen it was on the bed too, not too far from Bam's face. As Ville looked closer, he noticed something colored in the puke. He squinted his eyes, coming to realize that they were pills, many dots of color.
Oh my god! He's dead!
Then he got himself together. Ville reached out his left hand to check Bam's pulse.
It's beating, he's alive!
Bam's pulse and breathing were shallow, but steady.
Ville picked up his Bammie-Boy, setting him on the floor, his head on a towel. He got a cleaning cloth, gently raised Bam's head up, wiping off the remains of vomit from his mouth and chin. Ville goes and rinses out the rag, only to drowned it in cold water. Returning to Bam's side, trying to cool him, removing the sweat. Ville laid Bam's head back down on his towel-pillow. Ville cleaned up the mess, thankfully, Bam had hit the trash can more than missed it.Ville stripped the bed sheets, found some fresh sheets in the master bathroom cabinets. When he'd completed his tasks, he relocated Bammie to his clean bed, covered him up, sat on the bed beside him. Ville did what felt natural, rubbing hi head. Shortly after he began to hum, then softly sing the first son that cam to his mind, "Face Of God". Not realizing the scene was almost the same from his long ago dream.
**************************************************
Bam felt long fingers run through his hair, enjoying the caring gesture. He was so warn out, figured when all went black the last time, he was dead or dying. He heard a faint tune he recognized but couldn't place at first because he was so disoriented. He just relaxed as the mysterious hand massaged his head and hummed it's peaceful tune.
Ville had begun to sing under his breath, then shifted so he was laying down near Bam. He continued rubbing Bam's head, constantly watching for any signs of him waking up. Ville scooted over, moving closer to Bam, then leaning over his head to place a light kiss to Bam's forehead. Bam didn't have a fever and wasn't sweating anymore. Ville stopped his treatment of the skater's head to check his pulse. It felt at what was normal or close enough for him. He was so close to those soft lips, it was torture. Yet, Ville believed this was a deserved punishment after what he'd done with Bert. Ville finished singing "Face Of God", but another song came to mind. It was something new, he had only finished writing it just before coming to Castle Bam. ( This is before Venus Doom CD.) The song represented dreams long gone. he wrote it for Bam, about his feelings after he heard about Bam's engagement. He started to sing "Cyanide Sun".
Hell, he heard it from Jess before Bam told him. Ville knew Bam was with Missy off and on for half of his life, but never expected him to choose her to marry. Don't get him wrong, he wants Bam happy, if not with him, with someone who appreciated Bam. Missy seemed almost the right candidate, except on some occasions.
Like now, if Bam was truly happy, why did he go on a drinking binge and take so many pills? Either something or someone upset him. Doubt it was stress, unless he didn't really want to go through with his proposal. Could that be it? Is he having second thoughts? Oh God, I hope so! Maybe I still have a chance!
Then thinking more, he thought: No, I need to be realistic, Bam won't ever pick me, he's never noticed how I look at him, how I hug him differently from anyone else. I've never kissed him on his lips, because I'm afraid I'll not stop after only one taste. The other day when he kissed me, I had to think of Missy and Don Vito, so that I didn't respond. It was on of the hardest tasks I've ever had. Life was unfair, or is it not? There must be a reason for it. Maybe I wronged someone in this life or a past one. Either way, he'll never be mine, always someone else's. He loves me, as he loves Jess, Johny, Dunn, & Dico. I'll just have to come to terms of reality, forget the dreams and hopes.
Resigned to that fate, he continued "Cyanide Sun."
Bam now heard another tune, a sadder one. he moved into the hand touching his dark curls. Ville noticed Bam's movement, then timidly asked, "Bam? Bammie are you awake? If so, please answer me, or look at me?" Bam's wasn't sure he could speak, but when he heard Ville's voice Bam thought: I must've died, only which heaven or hell would have Ville with me? So, torture would be Hell, love and peace would be Heaven.
He opened his eyes, Bam could have believed he was dead and passed on to Heaven,
if Ville hadn't said, "You're alive. You're okay! Oh my God, I've never been so fucking scared in all of my life!"
Bam shrunken and coward slightly. Ville saw Bam's reaction and immediately felt awful for saying his last sentence.
"Bam, I'm sorry. I..." Ville paused.
Bam nodded for the Finn to continue.
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad, you must feel bad enough to have done what you did."
Ville stopped petting Bam's head and Bam set up slowly.
"What are you doing here? I mean in my room?"
Ville didn't know how he should answer.
Do I tell him because everyone was worried and couldn't find him or the truth? That I was the only worried person in the whole house.
Ville had come to a decision.
"Well, nobody had seen you for a while, Missy said something about you going upstairs, but not seeing you come back down yet. So, my curiosity go the best of me and here I am. Hey, look I was right."
Ville said with a grin. Bam couldn't stop himself from smiling too at Ville's pretend snobby attitude.
Bam had to ask, "What did you see when you walked in? What was the room like? And lastly, how did it all go away? I'm remembering it being a shit hole."
Ville told him, "I saw bottles and cans everywhere, smelled then saw that you'd gotten sick. I cleaned up your room. You were in no condition to do much, but rest up, seeing how you were unconscious."
Bam wiggled his toes under the covers, realizing he wasn't wearing his shoes anymore, then seen the base fitted sheet pattern wasn't what he'd seen before passing out. He pointed at it, looked as if he was poking the mattress.
"Is this the same as before? Am I losing it?
God I hope so, then Ville and Bert didn't do anything!
Ville smiled shyly, "I changed them, the other sheet was dirty."
Bam just nodded his head in agreement.
Then they really were together, I may be alive, but this is pure Hell!
Bam said out loud, "So, what time is it?"
Ville answered, "8 in the evening, I don't know what's going on downstairs, I've been up here for a while. Last I knew they were setting up for dinner."
"Then they've probably ended it by now too."
Ville said what he thought, "Oh well, I can get you something to eat, that's if you're hungry. Are you?"
Bam's tummy made some noise just then.
Ville smiled, "I'll go check out the rest of the house, okay?"
Bam grinned back with a nod.
Ville left Bam's room, to find a note taped on the outside to the bedroom door. Ville hadn't known he'd locked the door earlier. The note was from Missy, it read:
Dear Bam,
I hope it was everything you wanted.
Love Missy
Ville was so confused, but just pocketed the message until he got back to Bam. He found another on on the fridge, that let him know where the left-overs were. Bert had also left a note on there too. Under a few magnets,
Ville,
Thank you so much for inviting me, but well, let's say there's too much tension and stress for me here. I'll call you tomorrow to let you know where I'm staying at.
-Bert
Ville inwardly agreed. He opened the door to the refrigerator, looked over the containers, finding some cold chicken strips, salad, rolls, and dressing. He warmed up the chicken, got a couple bowls, put salad in both, sprinkled the meat into smaller pieces over the salad, adding a bit of cheese to them. He placed the bowls on a tray, setting the forks, rolls, and ranch dressing on the tray too. He seen another piece of paper:
I'm leaving this evening for a conference. Will be gone for a day or so. I should be back by Christmas Eve or Day.
-Missy
Ville added it to the other ones stuffed into his pocket. Finally got the tray up to Bam's room. Enters, only to find Bam gone from the bed.
End of Chapter 10
Started Chapter 11