I did stop going to the bar! The whole weekly Play thing, I stopped doing it. The only time I went was when they came back from their trips and even then I hadn't meant to, it just seemed worth it since they'd been out of town. And that was the grinding/hooking up/bruising night of fun anyway that didn't actually cause drama.
I can go to bars with other people and have fun, just not with them. They want to dance and ignore everyone else (including each other) and get so drunk that they can't think. I don't want that. That's why I've only been going with other people. This night was different because it was Sam Ronson!
At the least, I know for sure that I'm not going clubbing with Carrie anymore. Every bit of drama I've had with her has happened there. If I do keep her in my life, the bar is out.
I cut out Outreach because the people there hurt me. I took away Fridays at Play because Shannon was always there. I cut out drugs and got myself a real job. I can do this. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not as weak as I think. Or as weak as I want to be.
I can go to bars with other people and have fun, just not with them. They want to dance and ignore everyone else (including each other) and get so drunk that they can't think. I don't want that. That's why I've only been going with other people. This night was different because it was Sam Ronson!
At the least, I know for sure that I'm not going clubbing with Carrie anymore. Every bit of drama I've had with her has happened there. If I do keep her in my life, the bar is out.
I cut out Outreach because the people there hurt me. I took away Fridays at Play because Shannon was always there. I cut out drugs and got myself a real job. I can do this. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not as weak as I think. Or as weak as I want to be.
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