dirty mary
I had such an awesome day. And then I had to ruin it by going to the bar.
I’m pretty sure that I’ve just replaced certain addictions with others. The bar and drinking are new vices and they just have to stop. I have to leave this feeling that if I don’t go, I’ll somehow be missing something. I won’t be. I need to stop wasting money, time and energy on such a useless endeavour. I just end up leaving in a totally bad mood. I’ve got to get a grip on myself and cut out the bar until I’m in a better place.
Carrie and I went out to Blackfoot again and we had a great day. I shot some trees and cans with the air rifle. Nothing living. She tried to hunt a squirrel but it outsmarted her. Yay! Then we went out to this special place where she likes to go and think. It was sunset and the lake was frozen and it was just incredibly beautiful. Totally fantastic.
Carrie told me I’m basically her best friend right now. I was thinking it, but I was kind of scared to say it. So it was really nice to hear it from her.
We watched a movie, drank and headed to the bar. I had eaten too much pizza and didn’t feel good at all. I’ve got a nasty, nasty cold made worse by the hike. Thursday’s drama took a more unpleasant turn. I ended up being totally pissy at the world.
So I took it out on Carrie. Which was ridiculous. I was legitimately annoyed by something she was doing and I still think it’s a bad decision, but I totally turned into a giant bitch about it and that was not the way to handle it. I was so sick and angry by the end of the night that I entirely lost my voice.
I really need to apologize to Carrie. This is my second dumb bar related bitch attack. I hope she still wants to be my best friend. I’d understand by now if it was just too much for her. I know I’m not that big a mess, but she likes to live a very uncomplicated life.
If nothing else, I at least need to learn to point my anger at the people I’m actually mad at. Not the person who threw themselves on a sword that night to protect me from a creeper after me. She’s a great friend. And I’m a moron sometimes.
I’m pretty sure that I’ve just replaced certain addictions with others. The bar and drinking are new vices and they just have to stop. I have to leave this feeling that if I don’t go, I’ll somehow be missing something. I won’t be. I need to stop wasting money, time and energy on such a useless endeavour. I just end up leaving in a totally bad mood. I’ve got to get a grip on myself and cut out the bar until I’m in a better place.
Carrie and I went out to Blackfoot again and we had a great day. I shot some trees and cans with the air rifle. Nothing living. She tried to hunt a squirrel but it outsmarted her. Yay! Then we went out to this special place where she likes to go and think. It was sunset and the lake was frozen and it was just incredibly beautiful. Totally fantastic.
Carrie told me I’m basically her best friend right now. I was thinking it, but I was kind of scared to say it. So it was really nice to hear it from her.
We watched a movie, drank and headed to the bar. I had eaten too much pizza and didn’t feel good at all. I’ve got a nasty, nasty cold made worse by the hike. Thursday’s drama took a more unpleasant turn. I ended up being totally pissy at the world.
So I took it out on Carrie. Which was ridiculous. I was legitimately annoyed by something she was doing and I still think it’s a bad decision, but I totally turned into a giant bitch about it and that was not the way to handle it. I was so sick and angry by the end of the night that I entirely lost my voice.
I really need to apologize to Carrie. This is my second dumb bar related bitch attack. I hope she still wants to be my best friend. I’d understand by now if it was just too much for her. I know I’m not that big a mess, but she likes to live a very uncomplicated life.
If nothing else, I at least need to learn to point my anger at the people I’m actually mad at. Not the person who threw themselves on a sword that night to protect me from a creeper after me. She’s a great friend. And I’m a moron sometimes.