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ya well wow it has been a very long long time since i have updated this thing! and i have no idea where to start. well the past couple of weeks have been some of the hardest things i think i have ever been through. i honestly never thought that losin someone could hurt this bad, but it does! wakin up every morning and knowing that im going to have to come to school and not have a best friend to hug really hurts. i miss it so much. at first it was just kind of shock. like i cant believe that this is really happening,but then like after a couple of days i realized how much everything was going to change. i think that is when i realized exactly all that i had lost. i lost so much in that brief moment that it is going to take me a while to move on and get over it. and i know that some of you are just like "what is wrong with her? why cant she get over it and just move on." trust me i wish i could move on. im really sick of being upset about it all. but everytime i see something i feel like im being slapped in the face. gosh it just hurts so much! u know i honestly thought i would of gotten over it all by now, but i havent. coming to school everyday is a challenge, but with Gods help and with my AWESOME friends i somehow seem to get through all of it. ok when i say that yall are awesome i really mean like yall are so awesome! yall always are encouraging me! and it means so much to me that yall care! i dont know how i will ever thank yall for all that you have done! john m. i will never forget those 6 points! well at least the ones that we didnt already forget! thank you for always being there! you and margaret are so wonderful! i love you both! margaret i love our PE talks! wow we have covered EVERY subject in the book i think! but im learning alot through all this! God is ALWAYS going to be there no matter what! i have to rely on Him and not earthly things b/c they are bound to let us down and disappoint us! sooner or later these days are going to get easier, im prayin that that day will come soon. but im still breakin down inside. ok beka wants me to post this! lol...but i want to thank all of yall again! i love you! ..:caroline:..