A ten year lesson learned.
Sometimes life throws you a curve-ball and just when you think you’ve got it all figured out it throws you another one, and another one. Sometimes I wonder if I missed a lesson along the way or if I really learned all that I could learn after making a big mistake in my life. I’ve come to the conclusion that everything does, indeed, happen for a reason… Sometimes that reason is to better yourself or to meet someone special or to be a special person in someone else’s life. Ours is not always to wonder why, but you must have FAITH. Having faith is important in growing and moving and learning and it’s a truly important facet of growing up and giving in and being the best you can be. I can’t tell you how many times I thought I was on the right path only to find that there were several other little paths along the way that I didn’t see that I should have chosen. I take that back. There was never a path that I regret taking, because every footstep is what got me to where I was today. Granted, sometimes that path isn’t a very pretty one, and sometimes I drifted along in life without noticing I was doing something the hard way, but I do have faith that every footstep was meant to be taken and that there are, truly, no mistakes in life.
Upon moving to California, I could have sworn that it was the right decision to make at the right time in my life. And it was. But it took that trip for me to realize that I am selling myself short in my career, that I have given as much as I could give and worked as much as I could work in order to get to a place where I feel that this isn’t the right line of work for me. This is why I wouldn’t allow myself to move specifically “for love reasons.” And I’m glad I didn’t for that one reason alone, because it didn’t work out. I had to put myself first and foremost in my life and, when I did, the decision was much easier to make. Am I moving because I thought I was in love or am I moving for myself to get a new fresh start? The final answer at the end of the day was that I moved for myself. This has made making decisions in my life so much easier and I can see things much more clearly.
Today was a big turning point for me in my career. I attended (kind of, against my own will) a company-wide picnic. They gave out awards to managers who had performed well, I met some interesting folks and I came to the conclusion that if I had been given the same chances these people were given I could be their boss at this point. The fact is, I wasn’t given the same chances, when the chances presented themselves I feel that I was sold short on some decisions and the end result was me being a bitter old employee of a company that is praised for its upward mobility in promoting people. The fact is, perhaps I haven’t been honest with myself the whole time. Perhaps there WAS something I wasn’t doing or some quality I was missing which was the reason I felt trapped in my current long serving role with the company. In admitting that to myself, I finally realized, I raelly had given enough and I really had exhausted all of my resources in getting promoted again with my company. While I do love the core basic beliefs of the company, what I wasn’t understanding is why my life with the company wasn’t ‘fair.’ Well, being totally honest with myself, and that’s not always an easy thing to do, I came to the conclusion that maybe this wasn’t thep lace for me, that maybe I didn’t have all of the qualities that they were looking for in a candidate for promotion. And maybe I was meant to be somewhere else. Today I am of the understanding that I am supposed to be somewhere else right now, that I need to move on, I need to continue learning and growing, and I can no longer do that with my current company. I need education, and I need it fast. i needed it ten years ago.
Right now, as I write this, I do know for a fact that I am great with customers/people and I love learning new things and sharing them with others. I also have a great love of the English language. Therefore, I am determined to get back into school and get my English teaching certification (while still trying to get my novels published, of course.) I need to do what I do best, be in a field where I can learn and grow, and I feel that teaching would be a great way to demonstrate those abilities. I like being in charge and doing things MY WAY (thanks for that gene, Dad!) and in my current role I am just not getting those particular needs met in the way that I feel I deserve. So, it’s off to school with me, and I will reach for the stars!
Upon moving to California, I could have sworn that it was the right decision to make at the right time in my life. And it was. But it took that trip for me to realize that I am selling myself short in my career, that I have given as much as I could give and worked as much as I could work in order to get to a place where I feel that this isn’t the right line of work for me. This is why I wouldn’t allow myself to move specifically “for love reasons.” And I’m glad I didn’t for that one reason alone, because it didn’t work out. I had to put myself first and foremost in my life and, when I did, the decision was much easier to make. Am I moving because I thought I was in love or am I moving for myself to get a new fresh start? The final answer at the end of the day was that I moved for myself. This has made making decisions in my life so much easier and I can see things much more clearly.
Today was a big turning point for me in my career. I attended (kind of, against my own will) a company-wide picnic. They gave out awards to managers who had performed well, I met some interesting folks and I came to the conclusion that if I had been given the same chances these people were given I could be their boss at this point. The fact is, I wasn’t given the same chances, when the chances presented themselves I feel that I was sold short on some decisions and the end result was me being a bitter old employee of a company that is praised for its upward mobility in promoting people. The fact is, perhaps I haven’t been honest with myself the whole time. Perhaps there WAS something I wasn’t doing or some quality I was missing which was the reason I felt trapped in my current long serving role with the company. In admitting that to myself, I finally realized, I raelly had given enough and I really had exhausted all of my resources in getting promoted again with my company. While I do love the core basic beliefs of the company, what I wasn’t understanding is why my life with the company wasn’t ‘fair.’ Well, being totally honest with myself, and that’s not always an easy thing to do, I came to the conclusion that maybe this wasn’t thep lace for me, that maybe I didn’t have all of the qualities that they were looking for in a candidate for promotion. And maybe I was meant to be somewhere else. Today I am of the understanding that I am supposed to be somewhere else right now, that I need to move on, I need to continue learning and growing, and I can no longer do that with my current company. I need education, and I need it fast. i needed it ten years ago.
Right now, as I write this, I do know for a fact that I am great with customers/people and I love learning new things and sharing them with others. I also have a great love of the English language. Therefore, I am determined to get back into school and get my English teaching certification (while still trying to get my novels published, of course.) I need to do what I do best, be in a field where I can learn and grow, and I feel that teaching would be a great way to demonstrate those abilities. I like being in charge and doing things MY WAY (thanks for that gene, Dad!) and in my current role I am just not getting those particular needs met in the way that I feel I deserve. So, it’s off to school with me, and I will reach for the stars!