What is the point of living if we don't let life change us?
Warning: tl;dr
This is it.
I've been putting this off for so long. Mainly because I was afraid of the emotions it will eventually bring out of me.
I'm moving to New York and going to grad school, right now for just a year.
I am excited/nervous/scared but oddly, I haven't been really feeling any that until right now at 2:55 am Manila time. Which is once again a very stupid idea because my flight leaves at 12:20 pm and I have to be at the airport by 9 am. But this is me and I guess that'll never change.
The whole run up, from the moment my visa got approved to the very last when I had take everything out of my bags because they were overweight, I was cool, calm and collected. I guess it's only just hit me now.
I'm leaving. Everything and everyone I know to somewhere huge/big/large/crazy/confusing/new. I love my comfort zones and this waaay beyond comfortable that it's an actual nail digging into your shoulder.
I keep waiting for the tears (wait for it...) but really I just feel, relieved. I have been trying to get to this point for near on three years now and it has been painful and stressful. But now I'm here. I'm scared (and miffed that I no longer have all the choice in clothes I already own because I've had to leave so many behind just to meet that stupid weight restriction) because my mom and dad won't be there to bail me out. I won't have the same salary (but I will work) and the financial freedom to do and buy whatever I want as long as my bank account can handle it. But honestly, I can't complain (I will miss my room and my shoes tho).
Going to grad school in another country also means ending an era. Resigning from BusinessWorld has been... strange.
For five years it ruled my life and while I may have ranted and complained, it has been a blast. It wouldn't have been so without the people I was there with.
So here, this is me trying to get my feelings out and not to become so overwhelmed by it once I reach the city.
And now that I'm writing this (and I warn you this is cross posted to tumblr, LJ and Facebook) I'd like to take this opportunity now to thank everyone who's helped.
First, to all my funders on Indiegogo. You know who you are especially since a lot of you said you'd be anonymous and I will keep it that way. To those who gave me cash as donation my utmost gratitude because whoa cash, you also know who you are.
Thanks to Ate Kyen and the best sister-in-law ever Tesh for helping me with my flight. Thanks also to Tita Maloy and Tita Ana for helping look for places to stay. So much love to the DBP peeps; the insane people from Balete Drive Extension both resigned and those still holding on; my bestest friends in the world Nina, MM, and Soleil; the Benches and Slayers who have been so supportive over at the twitter-verse; and the craziest, loudest people on earth that can talk about gross stuff while eating kare-kare aka Lingua Franca.
But most of all thanks to my family.
I know I said before that I didn't feel any support but now I feel it droves.
Look, I got through this without crying.
I should say goodbye but we all know in this day and age that doesn't mean much. I mean come on, I'll still always be online and honestly we all know it's like I've always been online 24/7 anyway. Just... I might need to learn to actually sleep now that my dad won't be in NYC to wake me up and drive me when I'm late :P
This is it.
I've been putting this off for so long. Mainly because I was afraid of the emotions it will eventually bring out of me.
I'm moving to New York and going to grad school, right now for just a year.
I am excited/nervous/scared but oddly, I haven't been really feeling any that until right now at 2:55 am Manila time. Which is once again a very stupid idea because my flight leaves at 12:20 pm and I have to be at the airport by 9 am. But this is me and I guess that'll never change.
The whole run up, from the moment my visa got approved to the very last when I had take everything out of my bags because they were overweight, I was cool, calm and collected. I guess it's only just hit me now.
I'm leaving. Everything and everyone I know to somewhere huge/big/large/crazy/confusing/new. I love my comfort zones and this waaay beyond comfortable that it's an actual nail digging into your shoulder.
I keep waiting for the tears (wait for it...) but really I just feel, relieved. I have been trying to get to this point for near on three years now and it has been painful and stressful. But now I'm here. I'm scared (and miffed that I no longer have all the choice in clothes I already own because I've had to leave so many behind just to meet that stupid weight restriction) because my mom and dad won't be there to bail me out. I won't have the same salary (but I will work) and the financial freedom to do and buy whatever I want as long as my bank account can handle it. But honestly, I can't complain (I will miss my room and my shoes tho).
Going to grad school in another country also means ending an era. Resigning from BusinessWorld has been... strange.
For five years it ruled my life and while I may have ranted and complained, it has been a blast. It wouldn't have been so without the people I was there with.
So here, this is me trying to get my feelings out and not to become so overwhelmed by it once I reach the city.
And now that I'm writing this (and I warn you this is cross posted to tumblr, LJ and Facebook) I'd like to take this opportunity now to thank everyone who's helped.
First, to all my funders on Indiegogo. You know who you are especially since a lot of you said you'd be anonymous and I will keep it that way. To those who gave me cash as donation my utmost gratitude because whoa cash, you also know who you are.
Thanks to Ate Kyen and the best sister-in-law ever Tesh for helping me with my flight. Thanks also to Tita Maloy and Tita Ana for helping look for places to stay. So much love to the DBP peeps; the insane people from Balete Drive Extension both resigned and those still holding on; my bestest friends in the world Nina, MM, and Soleil; the Benches and Slayers who have been so supportive over at the twitter-verse; and the craziest, loudest people on earth that can talk about gross stuff while eating kare-kare aka Lingua Franca.
But most of all thanks to my family.
I know I said before that I didn't feel any support but now I feel it droves.
Look, I got through this without crying.
I should say goodbye but we all know in this day and age that doesn't mean much. I mean come on, I'll still always be online and honestly we all know it's like I've always been online 24/7 anyway. Just... I might need to learn to actually sleep now that my dad won't be in NYC to wake me up and drive me when I'm late :P