(no subject)
i feel shitty.
i went to the mall today, again. and bought MORE things...
what else is new. all im ever doing anymore is buying THINGS. things that i need? who knows...
i feel like im losing sight of who i am.
last night, was new years. i felt as though i let everyone down.
how can i want more? a boyfriend.. a job.. when i cant even handle what i have now?
all life is is wanting, and taking. fulfilling your own needs and screwing everyone over in the process of getting it.
i seem to remember putting in a lj earlier that when i grow up, i will probably be plastic, rely on money for happiness... and die while driving drunk. each day i feel as though im heading towards this tragic end.
life is losing its meaning, but my friends help me want the things that i actually do need.
thanks guys.. ill get there some day.
one thing i can be sure of, i still thank god, for the good and bad.
i thank god for change. it helps me remember that hes still up there and remembers im here. so maybe.. i dk maybe something big is coming if i keep buying and spending and losing sight of things. maybe its time for the right person to come along and steer me in a new direction.
i went to the mall today, again. and bought MORE things...
what else is new. all im ever doing anymore is buying THINGS. things that i need? who knows...
i feel like im losing sight of who i am.
last night, was new years. i felt as though i let everyone down.
how can i want more? a boyfriend.. a job.. when i cant even handle what i have now?
all life is is wanting, and taking. fulfilling your own needs and screwing everyone over in the process of getting it.
i seem to remember putting in a lj earlier that when i grow up, i will probably be plastic, rely on money for happiness... and die while driving drunk. each day i feel as though im heading towards this tragic end.
life is losing its meaning, but my friends help me want the things that i actually do need.
thanks guys.. ill get there some day.
one thing i can be sure of, i still thank god, for the good and bad.
i thank god for change. it helps me remember that hes still up there and remembers im here. so maybe.. i dk maybe something big is coming if i keep buying and spending and losing sight of things. maybe its time for the right person to come along and steer me in a new direction.