Gotta Figure This Out
Hi! Or as Jessica puts it. HAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!
Hahaha. Wow so second entry of the year. And its March 2nd. Alright, well my entry streak hasn't been as amazing as I had hoped. So the quarter is going by crazy fast, but everything else is going by slowly for depressing reasons. Its been a really weird quarter. Winter quarters are always not for me, and when applying to CR, living in CR, and having those 2 weeks at home I always suspected that this quarter would be very hard for me for various reasons. And it has been. Really has. Its been taking such a toll on me that I told my parents I'm getting anxiety again, and my mom went ahead and called the family doctor again for a prescription to Xanax. Again. We'll see how things go. I'm not too into taking it again, and getting addicted. I don't even have the TIME to take it. Maybe having the option right there will be enough to calm me down. We'll see how things turn out.
Love life isn't getting any luck. Don't know where I stand with a lot of things. I don't like liking people, because it never turns out the way I was hoping for and never goes my way. But enough of that. Things happen for a reason right? Can't be emo forever. ANYWAYS. Classes are going meh, I'm not doing as well as I was hoping this quarter, boo. Hopefully I can still pull of As in the classes that I need them most in. I NEED to. Oh and I also signed up for classes last week for Spring quarter '09. Ridiculous. Last quarter of junior year I'm taking: systematic botany + lab, plant disease ecology + lab (with Gilbert again a year later. awkward), and introduction to wines and wine chemistry (for my last GE!). Score. But 19 units. Um, shit. Well its all plant sciences stuff so it'll be nice to get working on my second major. Animal physiology with Williams is really fun, the class is great and the subject is sooo easy for me, wahoo! MoMI is alright, Chau and I die in class everyday. Behavioral neuroscience is fun, its hard as hell and everyone did poorly on the 2nd midterm because all that information at once is ridiculous. But he assured us we still have chances at getting As and doing well, so I'm studying for that final already. Its awkward/interesting studying for and memorizing chapters on emotions, memory, language, etc. I really like it though so we'll see how this turns out. For the paper my group and I are working on odor memory and all the vivid memories that come back when the olfactory system is aroused from a single scent. Finally get to research something thats always been on my mind.
Animal phys with Christine, Cristina, and Marcus is real fun, its nice to have a taste of Costa Rica every TuTh. And not to mention that I'm living with Sean, and Sara. So being at my apartment is always really fun. So much fun that I don't get much work done. Well I don't get much done anyways because I'm distracted. And that needs to end. Having fun with my friends totally makes everything so much better. On Saturday I went to Valley Fair in SJ with Tricia, Robert, Jessica, and Jamie and I had soooo much fun. Tricia bought me jeans!!! My first pair of jeans too, wow I never thought that would happen. She bought me 2 shirts too, woooow. And I got some other stuff as well. I told my mom the day after that I went shopping and she was so excited and surprised. Well the whole day was spent at Valley Fair, Urban, and Tricia's cousin house for his 18th bday. The whole family was there and there was soooo much food, it was so nice. They were all so welcoming and nice aw it felt like the mexican side of my family it was a really nice feeling. After dinner and taking out foodz, some of which I haven't tried before, we all went to Target to pick up some shiiietz. Then we drove back to Pac Shores and I went with Shu and Wu to Safeway to prep up for the crazy party that went down that night. Ridiiiiiculous party at Pac Shores. I wish I remembered it all but its all good, I remember most of it haha. I had so much fun though I really want it all to happen again soon.
The gym has been fun. I like going and I feel so happy every time I leave. I hate the bus system so I just decide to walk all the way home on TuTh. Its real nice. And next quarter I can do it three times a week easily because of the MWF class that I'm specifically taking for that reason! Now I can't escape and be a fatass on the couch as much. I'm seeing improvements, and I only go twice a week, imagine three times a week! Yaaaay. Well I'll shut up about this, I feel stupid talking about it haha.
I've been kinda missing home too. Seton has moved to Australia. Neal, my relative in NC had surgery last month to get a lemon-sized, malignant, aggressive, rare tumor, removed. I don't know the status of it all yet, but it scares me all the time. The family has had a lot of hits since I've been back from CR. Which doesn't help me at all. Doesn't help any of us at all really. There's just too much stuff going down in my life to prevent me from being happy and relaxed, I don't know why its turned out like this. I'm trying my hardest to prevent myself from breaking down and losing it. Thats already happened once this quarter over being emo from so-and-so. I feel ashamed over that too. I told myself I wouldn't let myself get to that and look where I ended up, and look at me now. Greeeaaat. Fml. Now that seems appropriate huh?
I can't believe we're in the 8th week of the quarter. You serious. Last quarter seemed like an entire year and now this winter quarter seems like it just started. I don't know what to do with myself these days. I need someone to tell me everything is going to be ok and be there for me. The person I imagined it to be seems to not be the person I thought they were. Which is probably the one thing thats hurting the most. If you want to know, don't ask, don't beg, don't bother me at my every whim to know about this all. In due time. In. Due. Time. I have trust issues and have had them since thaaat incident in high school, so it all makes sense right? And I'm also afraid of vodka, bad things always happen when I have vodka. Random yes, but totally appropriate at the same time.
If you have to ask, you'll never know.
Hahaha. Wow so second entry of the year. And its March 2nd. Alright, well my entry streak hasn't been as amazing as I had hoped. So the quarter is going by crazy fast, but everything else is going by slowly for depressing reasons. Its been a really weird quarter. Winter quarters are always not for me, and when applying to CR, living in CR, and having those 2 weeks at home I always suspected that this quarter would be very hard for me for various reasons. And it has been. Really has. Its been taking such a toll on me that I told my parents I'm getting anxiety again, and my mom went ahead and called the family doctor again for a prescription to Xanax. Again. We'll see how things go. I'm not too into taking it again, and getting addicted. I don't even have the TIME to take it. Maybe having the option right there will be enough to calm me down. We'll see how things turn out.
Love life isn't getting any luck. Don't know where I stand with a lot of things. I don't like liking people, because it never turns out the way I was hoping for and never goes my way. But enough of that. Things happen for a reason right? Can't be emo forever. ANYWAYS. Classes are going meh, I'm not doing as well as I was hoping this quarter, boo. Hopefully I can still pull of As in the classes that I need them most in. I NEED to. Oh and I also signed up for classes last week for Spring quarter '09. Ridiculous. Last quarter of junior year I'm taking: systematic botany + lab, plant disease ecology + lab (with Gilbert again a year later. awkward), and introduction to wines and wine chemistry (for my last GE!). Score. But 19 units. Um, shit. Well its all plant sciences stuff so it'll be nice to get working on my second major. Animal physiology with Williams is really fun, the class is great and the subject is sooo easy for me, wahoo! MoMI is alright, Chau and I die in class everyday. Behavioral neuroscience is fun, its hard as hell and everyone did poorly on the 2nd midterm because all that information at once is ridiculous. But he assured us we still have chances at getting As and doing well, so I'm studying for that final already. Its awkward/interesting studying for and memorizing chapters on emotions, memory, language, etc. I really like it though so we'll see how this turns out. For the paper my group and I are working on odor memory and all the vivid memories that come back when the olfactory system is aroused from a single scent. Finally get to research something thats always been on my mind.
Animal phys with Christine, Cristina, and Marcus is real fun, its nice to have a taste of Costa Rica every TuTh. And not to mention that I'm living with Sean, and Sara. So being at my apartment is always really fun. So much fun that I don't get much work done. Well I don't get much done anyways because I'm distracted. And that needs to end. Having fun with my friends totally makes everything so much better. On Saturday I went to Valley Fair in SJ with Tricia, Robert, Jessica, and Jamie and I had soooo much fun. Tricia bought me jeans!!! My first pair of jeans too, wow I never thought that would happen. She bought me 2 shirts too, woooow. And I got some other stuff as well. I told my mom the day after that I went shopping and she was so excited and surprised. Well the whole day was spent at Valley Fair, Urban, and Tricia's cousin house for his 18th bday. The whole family was there and there was soooo much food, it was so nice. They were all so welcoming and nice aw it felt like the mexican side of my family it was a really nice feeling. After dinner and taking out foodz, some of which I haven't tried before, we all went to Target to pick up some shiiietz. Then we drove back to Pac Shores and I went with Shu and Wu to Safeway to prep up for the crazy party that went down that night. Ridiiiiiculous party at Pac Shores. I wish I remembered it all but its all good, I remember most of it haha. I had so much fun though I really want it all to happen again soon.
The gym has been fun. I like going and I feel so happy every time I leave. I hate the bus system so I just decide to walk all the way home on TuTh. Its real nice. And next quarter I can do it three times a week easily because of the MWF class that I'm specifically taking for that reason! Now I can't escape and be a fatass on the couch as much. I'm seeing improvements, and I only go twice a week, imagine three times a week! Yaaaay. Well I'll shut up about this, I feel stupid talking about it haha.
I've been kinda missing home too. Seton has moved to Australia. Neal, my relative in NC had surgery last month to get a lemon-sized, malignant, aggressive, rare tumor, removed. I don't know the status of it all yet, but it scares me all the time. The family has had a lot of hits since I've been back from CR. Which doesn't help me at all. Doesn't help any of us at all really. There's just too much stuff going down in my life to prevent me from being happy and relaxed, I don't know why its turned out like this. I'm trying my hardest to prevent myself from breaking down and losing it. Thats already happened once this quarter over being emo from so-and-so. I feel ashamed over that too. I told myself I wouldn't let myself get to that and look where I ended up, and look at me now. Greeeaaat. Fml. Now that seems appropriate huh?
I can't believe we're in the 8th week of the quarter. You serious. Last quarter seemed like an entire year and now this winter quarter seems like it just started. I don't know what to do with myself these days. I need someone to tell me everything is going to be ok and be there for me. The person I imagined it to be seems to not be the person I thought they were. Which is probably the one thing thats hurting the most. If you want to know, don't ask, don't beg, don't bother me at my every whim to know about this all. In due time. In. Due. Time. I have trust issues and have had them since thaaat incident in high school, so it all makes sense right? And I'm also afraid of vodka, bad things always happen when I have vodka. Random yes, but totally appropriate at the same time.
If you have to ask, you'll never know.