(no subject)
I haven't updated this in awhile. Partly because there's not much time, partly because there's not much going on, partly because, well an egocentric part of me knows no one reads this anyway so why bother?
Really I've just been working a lot. A LOT. Pretty much the most I've ever been made to get off my ass and do stuff in my life heh. Which isn't to say it's a bad thing. I like my job for the most part and the money is good. I'm just a big fan of apathy I suppose.
I've been going to these sessions in the little free time I have. I don't like to say they're 'helping' but it's good to feel free to say what I have on my mind without fear of pissing people off or being judged. Really, that's what I needed. I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny from people in my life, like everything I say and do is under a microscope. I know I'm not perfect, but that's no reason to be called out on it all the time.
And so what if the girl I want doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. Right now, I guess I don't care. Course, that may be the defense mechanism that has been discussed so much. It's been described as a kind of 'wounded animal' syndrome where if I'm seriously hurt by something I'll retreat into seclusion, heal, and then avoid the thing that caused me pain all together. Basically, I can take a punch to the face fine, but a stab at the heart is lethal, regardless of whether it does damage. I'm too touchy, I let these things get to me far too easily. I'm working on it.
I got a new car. It's my dream, 2001 Impala. I love it, despite a few minor things that are gonna get worked out Wednesday. I don't really know why I like the car so much, but I have since the new models came out and wanted one since I got my license. Now I have it and I couldn't be happier. Hopefully I can keep it longer than two years heh.
I'm going to Las Vegas on the 27th too. Or rather, I'm leaving on the 27th. Jay, James and I are driving out there. Yea, a trail will be left, you'll probably hear about this road trip on the news. We're planning on staying a week or so, more than enough time to lose a ton of money and have a lot of fun in the process I'm sure heh.
Other than that, I'm just kinda lonely. Not the crippling lonely that I've been feeling but the wistful kind. I just want someone to hold and watch movies with or hang out and laugh with. All that sappy stuff. I'm such a sap.
Really I've just been working a lot. A LOT. Pretty much the most I've ever been made to get off my ass and do stuff in my life heh. Which isn't to say it's a bad thing. I like my job for the most part and the money is good. I'm just a big fan of apathy I suppose.
I've been going to these sessions in the little free time I have. I don't like to say they're 'helping' but it's good to feel free to say what I have on my mind without fear of pissing people off or being judged. Really, that's what I needed. I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny from people in my life, like everything I say and do is under a microscope. I know I'm not perfect, but that's no reason to be called out on it all the time.
And so what if the girl I want doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. Right now, I guess I don't care. Course, that may be the defense mechanism that has been discussed so much. It's been described as a kind of 'wounded animal' syndrome where if I'm seriously hurt by something I'll retreat into seclusion, heal, and then avoid the thing that caused me pain all together. Basically, I can take a punch to the face fine, but a stab at the heart is lethal, regardless of whether it does damage. I'm too touchy, I let these things get to me far too easily. I'm working on it.
I got a new car. It's my dream, 2001 Impala. I love it, despite a few minor things that are gonna get worked out Wednesday. I don't really know why I like the car so much, but I have since the new models came out and wanted one since I got my license. Now I have it and I couldn't be happier. Hopefully I can keep it longer than two years heh.
I'm going to Las Vegas on the 27th too. Or rather, I'm leaving on the 27th. Jay, James and I are driving out there. Yea, a trail will be left, you'll probably hear about this road trip on the news. We're planning on staying a week or so, more than enough time to lose a ton of money and have a lot of fun in the process I'm sure heh.
Other than that, I'm just kinda lonely. Not the crippling lonely that I've been feeling but the wistful kind. I just want someone to hold and watch movies with or hang out and laugh with. All that sappy stuff. I'm such a sap.