(no subject)

[bakkwash]

I'm thinking about things that were said to me last week.
I'm thinking about how to go about improving my self image.
I'm thinking about what makes me laugh. I need to learn to laugh again. Not the kind of laughter when someone tells a good joke, but the kind of laughter that comes from being completely at peace and knowing you're where you need to be.
I'm thinking about betrayal and that maybe it isn't so much betrayal as it is misunderstanding.
I'm thinking that I need to stop expecting the worst out of people.
I'm thinking that no one knows me as well as they believe they do.
I'm thinking that that is mostly my fault.
I'm thinking that I need a genuine smile in my life.
I'm thinking about moving on, that maybe this time I may actually do it, that maybe this time I won't need another band-aid.
I'm thinking about the past, digging through the dirt and finding the occassional nugget of gold.
I'm still thinking about her.
I'm thinking that things don't go my way because I never expect them to and that I need to be more pro-active if I'm to be successful in anything.
I'm thinking that I really don't want to be in journalism.

And I'm sure that after this morning's meeting I'll be thinking of more. But for now this is all that comes to mind. I'm doing better.