[Fic] Kimi no koe, boku no yume
Title: 君の声、僕の夢 [Kimi no koe, boku no yume - Your voice, my dream]
Pairing: AKame
Genre: romance, a bit of everything else ^_^
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: Part 2
Summary: “Anata no koe, watashi no yume by Takaguchi Hitoshi.” Kazuya let out loud as he flipped it around; his eyes set on the synopsis on the back. “A girl with a broken past meets a young man who seemed different from others. Can he help her overcome it? Can she clear the misunderstanding that was created? And if she does, what will her biggest dream be?” Kazuya finished and just stared at the book. “Sounds... interesting.”
Disclaimer: I own their hearts.... no, wait... it's the other way around *sigh*
A/N: This is for my girl hinatah . Here's the second part of my b'day present dear *HUG* I know you were the one that gave me the idea, so this fic is yours and yours only <3
The next morning he was woken up by his dear Ran-chan, who was licking his face. The moment he opened his eyes, he saw her wiggling her tail and then running out of the room to play with Pin. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, after which he glanced around the room. He suddenly remembered what had happened before he went to sleep, so he got up and approached the altar. He sat down in front of it and took the photo that was put there, wanting to see if there was a name somewhere. But there wasn't, so he looked at the photo one last time before he put it down and arranged his bed. He then left the room to greet the inhabitants of the house, but there was no sign of them. Kazuya then glimpsed a piece of paper on the table with something written on it, and a key right next to it.
“In case you wake up after we leave, here's the key to lock the door if you go home. You can leave it under the rug. Jin.” he read the note out loud and took the key in his hand as he did so. “Home? I'm not going back there.” he let out, sad at his father's words. Kazuya thought that it would be nice for him to wait for at least one of them to come back, as he didn't want something to happen if he let the key where the older one said to leave it. He looked at the clock and thought that he should find something to do until the others came back home. So he took out the book he started reading and sat down somewhere to continue it.
He had reached the part where the young man in the story helped the girl escape from the people that were after her, hiding her at his place, where he was living with his mom and younger bro-
“This is too similar with what happened yesterday.” Kazuya frowned, but kept on reading.
She started realizing her feelings towards the young man. The only thing she knew about him was that violin was his hobby, even if he was very good at it, even better than her colleagues at music school. She remembered the day they met, how arrogant she was towards him, trying to intimidate him a bit, and how he didn't give in to her. What she really liked about him was that even if he knew she was so famous, he didn't seem to care. She learned to trust him in quite a short time, one of the reasons might have been that he couldn't - or wouldn't - talk. There was also a scene Kazuya found maybe too similar to one that happened the previous night: when she was about to leave the room they were in at some point, he grabbed her hand and got up, leaning in, placing a chaste kiss on her lips before they heard his mother and brother returning.
“Did he...” Kazuya's eyes widened as he realized what the older one wanted to do. “But... I'm straight...” he whispered to himself and continued reading.
It seemed that the girl had almost the same questions Kazuya did, especially regarding the photograph on the altar and she asked the young man about it the next day. But he didn't want to answer her and from that moment on, he shut himself away from her. She then sought his mother's help, who managed to calm him down a bit.
“This is getting way to creepy.” he let out. Just when he was about to find out what had happened to the boy in the photo, he heard the door unlock, which distracted him.
“Ah, Kamenashi-kun, you're still here.” Jin's mother let out with a smile.
“Y-yes. I didn't want to leave the key where Jin told me, afraid something might happen.”
“How sweet of you. Have you eaten?”
“No. But I'm not hungry, thank you.”
“You're lying, Kamenashi-kun.” she let out giggling. “You're too slim for your own good.”
“I have to be like this. With my career in-” he stopped and the woman looked at him. “I'm sorry. I forgot I don't have a baseball career anymore.” he chuckled bitterly.
“Then that means you can eat as much as you want, right?”
“Um... I guess so.”
The lady went into the kitchen to prepare something to eat, as her two sons would arrive soon. Kazuya offered his help and the lady gladly accepted it. However, she jut gave him simple tasks like cleaning the vegetables and such. Kazuya was feeling relaxed around her, himself. He wished his mother was warm and caring like her...
“What's wrong, Kamenashi-kun?”
“Please call me Kame or Kazuya.”
“Ok, Kazuya-kun. What happened? You look sad.”
“Nothing...”
“You have the same look my boys have when they're sad.”
“It's, um... can I be honest?”
“Of course, dear.”
“I was just thinking what it would be like to be part of a normal family. A family where everyone loves each other and not be so cold.”
“I'm sure your family cares about you, but in their own way.” she let out as she took the vegetables Kazuya worked on. “Every family has its moments of coldness towards each other. It happened in this family as well. But we overcame it.” She put the ingredients in the pot, washed and dried her hands and joined Kazuya at the table.
“My family is different. All they care about is money and fame. But that's not what I'm so upset about... I know my parents weren't pleased when I was born. Because I was born by accident. But I can't complain much, because they paid for everything they had to pay so I could get where I was. They seemed proud of me. But the moment the association suspended me, they became colder than they were.” he finished his words with a discouraged sigh.
“You poor thing. I'm surprised they don't care about such a wonderful child. I cannot believe they can't see the treasure they have.” she said and caressed Kazuya's hair, smiling at him. “Why don't you spend a few days with us? It might give your family and yourself some time to think.”
“Oh, no, I couldn't. I don't want to disturb you.”
“Nonsense dear. Any friend of my sons' is welcomed in our house.”
“Thank you, Akanishi-san.” Just when he was about to say something more, the two heard the door opening and closing and a pair of footsteps going their way.
“Ah, Jin. You're back.” She let out and the figure in the doorway was surprised to see Kazuya still there. “I asked Kazuya-kun to stay with us for a few days. You don't mind, right?” she smiled at her son and the latter's expression turned into a smiling one as well as he nodded. “The food will be ready soon. Let's just wait for your brother, ok?” Jin nodded as he approached his mother and kissed her forehead before sitting down. Kazuya was jealous about the scene he had witnessed, but kept it to himself. “Thank you for your help, Kazuya-kun. Why don't you boys go in the living room and set the table? Reio should be home soon and it would be nice to eat together with three handsome young men.” Kazuya saw Jin signaling something to his mother with a big grin on his face. “Don't be silly, dear. He really is handsome, but he's too young for me. Unfortunately.” she faked a heart-broken sigh, after which she laughed lightly. Kazuya glanced from the mother to the son and was taken a bit aback by the dazzling smile plastered on his face. His heart started beating a bit faster and Kazuya asked himself what was happening to him. But he soon woke up from his trance when the older one pushed a notepad with something written on it.
“About me? But...” he felt his cheeks burn a bit, so he got up and left the room fast. He heard soft giggles on his way to the room where he slept and couldn't help his blush spreading. And he didn't even know the reason for it. Moments later, the door to the room slid open and Jin entered, sitting down next to Kazuya. “I-I'm ok. It's just that... I don't know how to answer to sincere praises.” he looked away as he pulled his legs to his chest. “Please go... I don't want you to see this weak side of me. No one should see it.” he put his head on his knees, wishing the older one left. But to his dismay, he didn't. He just stood there, looking at Kazuya and waiting for... something. The younger man raised his eyes to glance at him and Jin went closer. “What do you want?” he asked softly, looking at the older one confused. Jin took his hand and caressed it just before he pulled the younger one in a tight hug. Kazuya struggled out of it, as he felt a bit awkward, for reasons unknown to him. “Let me go, Jin.” the latter did let go of him and pulled out his pen and paper. He wrote that Kazuya was more than welcome to stay at their place and that it also made him happy he agreed to stay. Buy Kazuya remembered the questions he wanted to ask. “Ne... about last night... right before your mother and brother came back.... what did you want to do? Why did you grab my hand and-” Kazuya stopped when he felt Jin's hand over his mouth, silencing him. He then saw what he wrote: that Kazuya shouldn't think too much into that. “And... I have another question...” he took a deep breath, remembering what was written in the book. What if Jin reacted that way too? “Were you the one here last night? I mean... I saw someone light the candles on the altar and...” he left his words stand as he saw Jin's smile fade. “Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have butted in.” he distanced himself a bit from the older one, afraid of his reaction. However, he was eased when the older one didn't do anything to him, instead picking up his notepad. “Why did I distanced myself? Well... Can I tell you the truth?” the older one nodded, so Kazuya continued. “I'm reading a book and... everything there seems so... familiar to what's happening.” Kazuya got up and brought it from the living room, where he sat to read it. “This is the one.” he gave it to Jin and looked at him. He saw how his face turned white and his eyes widened, suddenly feeling worried. “Are you ok?” he let out and wanted to touch Jin, but the latter backed away a bit. “Why shouldn't I finish reading it? But it's-” Kazuya sighed, not understanding why he should stop. “Fine, then. I won't read it anymore.” he let out disappointed and moved towards the window. He then came up with and idea and turned around, startling the still shocked form. “Will you teach me how to read sign language?” He saw the older one get back to his senses and nod faintly. “Thank you.” he went back and sat down near Jin. “Can we start now?” He received a positive answer and Jin showed him the signs to different words. He was starting to return to his normal self, Kazuya noticed and smiled inwardly. But he still wanted to find answers to his questions.
**
Kazuya spent the next week and something at Jin's place, doing simple chores and even cooking once or twice for the other three. Of course he knew he was a stranger in that house still, but he felt more loved there than by his own family. Kazuya was convinced that a loving family was what he wanted the most, even if people talked about his so-called love for money, women and fame. They were all lies. He blushed madly when, one afternoon after they ate and he was washing dishes, Jin's mother kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for the meal. And he felt his cheeks burn more when he saw Jin standing in the doorway, looking at him with a smirk on. They had fun those days and slowly, but steadily, he learned how to read basic sign language and could now understand what Jin wanted to say without using pen and paper. But there was something he tried fighting with: his feelings. He kept telling himself that he's not attracted to the older man, that they're just friends. But there were moments when he just wanted to jump on him and taste those big, plump lips. However, he managed to refrain himself from doing that, to his relief. He didn't know how he could face him if he did it.
During the night, Kazuya indeed convinced himself it was Jin that was... crying in front of the altar, but still didn't have the courage to ask him about it. He didn't want to upset him especially because...
“I like him.” he whispered to himself one night, when everyone else was asleep. He sat up and looked out the window. He couldn't see the stars, as much as he would have liked to. He just sat there, thinking about everything that was bothering him and everything that made him happy. He weighed them and reached the conclusion that he was happy in the presence of this family. If it were up to him, he'd live with them forever, but he was well aware of the fact that he had to leave soon. He has been there for more than a week and Kazuya thought that it might be best if he left, so as not to create any inconveniences for the family. He told himself that it was best to wait for the morning and say a proper goodbye. He was about to lie back down when he saw the older one entering the room. It seemed that Jin didn't notice him at first, and only did so when Kazuya whispered his name softly. That's when the older one stopped and looked at him through the dark. He sat down in front of the altar and lit the candles. Kazuya moved silently to his side and noticed him praying. As he sat down, he saw a small tear run down the older one's face as he turned to meet Kazuya's gaze. The younger one could see pain in his eyes, mixed with a bit of... fear?
“What's wrong?” he let out softly as he took Jin's hand in his. The dim candlelight made the older one's features seem much more appealing than before and this time Kazuya was the one who desperately wanted to hug him. “Tell me what's wrong.” he tried catching Jin's gaze, but to no avail. He couldn't look into Kazuya's eyes.
“I'll try to tell you...”
“Ok. If you want to stop, just stop then, ok?”
“The kid in the photo was my best friend. He died about ten years ago and it was all my fault. I killed him!” Jin's tears started falling freely at the memory.
“What do you mean you killed him?”
“Because I was the one that was supposed to die.” he sighed.
“Don't blame yourself for it.”
“Of course I am! If I hadn't asked him to join me in that stupid-” he stopped. Kazuya noticed the pain in his eyes as the older one glanced at him, a bit ashamed. That's when he did something that surprised Kazuya: Jin put a hand behind his neck and slowly pulled him close, pressing his lips against the younger one's. At first Kazuya didn't know how to react, seeing that he wasn't the only one... interested. He brought to his chest the hand in which he had Jin's hand, pulling himself closer to the older man, wanting to feel more of that warmth. He couldn't believe he didn't feel nauseated about kissing a guy, but felt rather good with Jin. His other hand made its way to the older one's face, resting on his jawline, while he felt Jin's arm snake around him, pulling him closer. But he soon broke the kiss and glanced at Jin before hugging him tight. No words were needed right then and Kazuya knew that. He knew that even if the older one didn't want to or couldn't talk, he would enjoy the silence. His silence.
“I guess... I guess this was bound to happen, sooner or later.” he let out softly and looked at Jin. He then smiled faintly, seeing that the older one's tears disappeared. He brushed away the remaining traces and smiled. “I want to be there for you, Jin. In these last few days you have given me the opportunity to see how a family should really be and I thank you for that. I cannot be more grateful.” he felt a small peck on his forehead. “I wish I could hear your voice...” Kazuya whispered to himself and rested his head on Jin's shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other's warmth, until Kazuya - barely - decided to let go. However, Jin asked him if he would let him sleep there, with him. Kazuya couldn't resist him, so he agreed, even making room for him. He watched the older one calm down, bit by bit, until he fell asleep. It was only then when the younger one mustered up some courage and caressed his hair lightly.
“I wonder what exactly happened...” he let out softly. Very soon he fell asleep too, thinking about his own problems.
*
The next day, Kazuya woke up, slowly opening his eyes. What came into his view was something that made his heart prickle: the older man was still sleeping, a peaceful expression on his face, and a few locks of his hair covering it. Kazuya was surprised when he noticed his hands held tightly to Jin's chest by the latter. He tried to release himself and let the older one continue sleeping, but he woke up.
“I'm sorry, I didn't want to...” he let his words hang as Jin sat up as well and rubbed his eyes. He then shook his head and smiled at Kazuya. The sleepy smile he had on made the younger one think he was very cute, a word that wouldn't normally suit Jin. “Are you ok?” The older one nodded.
“Look, about last night...”
“Don't explain. Please.” Kazuya smiled and got up.
“But I want to. Please let me explain.” he signed and Kazuya followed his request, sitting down in front of him.
“Ok.”
“It happened about ten years ago. I went on a trip with my best friend somewhere near Tokyo, with the thought of catching some fish, or at least have some fun. When we got there, we rented a boat to go on the lake. Everything was fine until something happened in the lake which produced a big wave, hitting our boat and throwing me overboard. He then jumped in to save me, but he...” Kazuya noticed Jin started shaking a bit.
“Jin, calm down.” he let out softly and gripped his hands, but the older one released himself seconds later.
“Sorry. It's the first time I'm telling someone else this.”
“Don't force yourself.”
“But I want to tell you this.” Jin shook his head softly.
“You can tell me some other time. No need to get upset.” he smiled. Kazuya couldn't believe how much this man started to change him. He became so... soft after meeting him and his family, so... loved. He couldn't resist the urge to hug Jin, and when he did, Jin embraced him tight. “By the way, don't you have work today?” he let go and looked at him.
“It's Saturday, Kame.” he smiled. The younger one liked seeing him smile, thinking that that was indeed a real and nice smile.
“It is?” Kazuya chuckled. “Come on, let's go eat breakfast. I'm sure your mom's waiting for us.” he let out and urged Jin to go ahead. On his way out of the room, he heard his phone vibrating, letting Kazuya know he received a new message. He took his phone out, flipped it open and read the message. It was from one of his older brothers, asking him to answer his phone. He then checked his missed calls list and, as he scrolled down the list, he saw a lot of calls from him. He was the closest one to Kazuya from the whole family, but not close enough to tell him what was on his mind. He decided to dial his brother's number and see what he wanted.
“Moshimoshi?”
“Kazuya? Where the hell are you? Mom and dad are looking for you!”
“I'm at... a friend's place.”
“For almost two weeks?”
“Stop yelling at me, nii-chan!” he whispered. “What do they want?”
“They don't know where you disappeared to.”
“Well father told me that if I leave, I won't return to the house. And I was a good child and listened to him.”
“Cut the irony, Kazuya. He wants you to return.”
“Why?”
“Because... I don't know why. He just does.”
“Try not to listen to him blindly, nii-chan. Tell them I'm ok and I don't need them to worry. “
“But...”
“Goodbye, nii-chan. I'll call you soon.” he let out and hung up, leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get rid of the sudden feeling of fear and anger forming inside his chest.
“Kazuya, are you ok?” he saw Jin sign to him.
“Uhm... yeah.”
“Sure?” The younger one nodded. “Ok then, let's go eat.”
That day, Kazuya was a bit affected by the thought that his father actually wanted him back. But he was already old enough to take care of himself and decided to search for his own apartment. He had some money he saved for cases such as this when he might need some, and he still had to receive his last paycheck from the baseball club. From what Kazuya counted, the money was enough to buy himself a small apartment and afford living for a few weeks until he found another job. But what job could he get? The only thing he was good at was baseball and he was certain a lot of people knew about the scandal, thus minimizing his job options. He flopped on the floor in front of the TV and sighed.
“What's wrong?” Jin signed and sat down near Kazuya.
“I have to make some decisions and they're pretty hard to make.”
“Like?”
“I want to move into my own apartment and get a job, any job.” he let out and placed his forehead on his knees. He felt a soft caress on his hair. He tried thinking about what he should do and looked up at Jin, who smiled at him softly. “If I do that... will you move in with me? I mean... don't take it the wrong way, but... I don't like being alone.” he turned his gaze at his feet, staring at them as he felt so... lost. However, he came back to his senses when he felt himself being pressed to the older one's chest. Kazuya encircled his arms around his waist, feeling very safe in those arms. “Please say something...” he let out and pressed his head against Jin's chest, trying to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes. He didn't hear his voice this time either, but as an apology, Jin placed a soft kiss on his hair as he was caressing the younger one's back lightly. “So... would you like to move in with me?” he gazed at the other with his teary eyes, an image that would break anyone's heart. Jin let go of him and paused.
“I don't know if I can. That would mean leaving my mom and Reio alone and...”
“It's alright. I understand if you can't.” he smiled bitterly and sat up, wiping his tears away.
“Kame...”
“It's ok, Jin. I understand. I'd rather stay with my family too if I were in your shoes and not with a stranger.” he let out and got up. He turned around as Jin caught his attention.
“Where are you going?”
“To find a place to stay. You've been too kind to me and I can't bring myself to bother you any further.” Kazuya stepped outside of the living room into the hallway and was about to put his shoes on when he felt himself being turned around into a hug. “Jin, what-” his words were cut by those soft, plump lips Kazuya liked feeling on his own.
“Don't go. Stay with me.”
“I can't stay here. I don't want to put your family in danger. You're the most amazing persons I ever met and I'm grateful for that. I really am. And that's the main reason I have to go.”
“I'll talk to my mom and see if she'll manage without me here.”
“What? Does that mean...”
“I won't leave you alone.” That phrase made Kazuya smile.
“Thank you.” he let out and hugged the older one.
“Why don't we try searching online? It's faster and you can get a lot of results.”
“Really?” Jin nodded. “Show me then.”
Jin went after his laptop and both of them sat at the table next to each other, so both could see. They searched for about an hour and Kazuya saw some good offers, Jin urging him to call and ask about the price and stuff. He then decided over two small apartments somewhere near the park - in which vicinity was Jin's home - and went to check them out. Finally, Kazuya liked the second one more because it had a nice view of the park and the rooms were a bit bigger compared to the first. He talked with the owner and got a small discount since he said he was able to pay cash. The latter told him it would take a few days to process the documents, but he could move in if he wanted, as soon as the payment was done. Kazuya told the owner that they could meet on Monday to sign papers and deal with the bureaucracy, Jin offering his help as well. After they were done, Kazuya invited Jin for a coffee, wanting to thank him for his help and for his time. They found a pretty cozy place near the block where Kazuya would live in and entered it.
“Thanks for coming with me. I don't know what I would have done without your help.” he smiled sheepishly at Jin.
“No need to thank me. It was my pleasure.” he smiled back. The waitress soon brought them their order. Kazuya looked out the window, wondering if he took the right decision. He was trying to convince himself that he did, because he needed to get on with his life and not depend on his father anymore, him being the one managing his and his brothers' careers. And he had had enough. He wanted to be free, to decide for himself and... to fall in love. That was what he was thinking about when he felt a soft touch on his hand, bringing him back to reality. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing. I was just... thinking.”
“About?”
“How my life changed in such a short span of time.”
“In a good or bad way?” he took his cup of coffee and sipped from it.
“I guess you can say a good way.”
“Then why that serious expression?”
“Serious?” Jin nodded. “Well...” he paused a bit as he thought about saying his mind. “I was thinking that I'm glad I sort of escaped my father's grip. I love baseball, but I hated the way he managed my career. Sometimes it was too tiring for me, but I always gritted my teeth and told myself to hang on for a while longer. And then... well, one day it went downhill.”
“The accident?”
“Yes. Is it wrong if I'm glad it happened? I mean... it gave me time to breathe. Even if I spent a month behind bars...” he chuckled bitterly. He noticed Jin taking out a notepad and writing something, after which he gave it to Kazuya. 'It's not wrong to think that way. If this happened to you, then it happened for a reason. And honestly? I'm glad it happened to you, because this way I got to meet you, something I always wanted ever since I saw you on TV. And if anything else happens, I want to be there for you.' Kazuya read it to himself and couldn't help the small smile that escaped his lips. “Thank you.” he let out and gripped Jin's hand lightly.
“Kazuya?” he turned around when he heard his name and took his hand away from Jin's in that instant, his smile also disappearing. “What are you doing here?”
“Nii-chan...”
“You know dad is-”
“Nii-chan, I'd like you to meet Akanishi Jin, a friend of mine.” he let out fast, not wanting to talk about his father. “Jin, this is my brother, Kamenashi Koji.” the older brother turned to Jin and bowed, the latter responding to it.
“You should come back home with me. Now.”
“I don't want to, nii-chan. Tell father that I won't be coming back.” he turned his gaze away from his brother, upset.
“You know he won't take 'no' for an answer. You have to come, Kazuya.”
“No, nii-chan. I don't have to go back.” he let out in a low tone, with slightly gritted teeth. “And I'll tell you why: I'm buying a small apartment and I'll be living alone. I'll find a job and go on with my life.”
“Kazuya, you can't- baseball is the only thing you know...”
“Of course. Father made sure of that.” While the two brothers were bickering, Jin watched them silently. Kazuya looked at him when he realized what he was doing. He mouthed 'sorry' to Jin and calmed down. “Look, nii-chan... I don't want to argue with you. Just go home and forget that you saw me. And don't tell him what I'm up too, for now. I need time and space to think and to breathe. If you can't do this small favor I'm asking, then forget I was even born in that family.”
“Kazuya, stop saying stupid things. You know he cares about you and-”
“Nii-chan, he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have acted so cold towards me, as if he... despises me. Your situation is different than mine. I'm not asking you to understand.” He turned away from his brother again, glancing at Jin, wondering what he was thinking about their argument.
“Look, Kazuya...”he pulled a chair and sat down. “It would be better if you returned home.”
“I don't want to talk about it anymore, nii-chan. No offense. Plus, we're not alone.” Hearing Kazuya's words, the older brother looked at Jin, analyzing him.
“Akanishi-san was it, right?” he asked and Jin nodded. “Tell me... what do you want from my brother? Money?”
“Nii-chan!”
“Shut up, Kazuya, I'm talking to your... friend here. So tell me... what do you want from him?”
“Nii-chan, he-”
“Kazuya.” he glared at his younger brother. “Answer me, Akanishi-san.”
The older brother looked at Jin with a frown, seemingly impatient. However, the latter just shrugged and started 'talking' through signs.
“W-what's he doing?” Koji turned to his younger brother, confused about what Jin was doing, and saw Kazuya sigh.
“He can't speak, nii-chan. And I wanted to tell you that, but you never give me a chance to say anything.” he let out and sat back in his chair.
“Then... what did he... say just now? And when did you learn to read sign language?”
“He taught me. And he said he doesn't want money or stuff like that from me.” he said and saw Jin continue. “He says that he just wants to be there for me and-” He stopped talking and just gaped at Jin. He couldn't believe his eyes.
“And?”
“A-and he... he just wants to be my friend.” A heavy silence lay over them as Kazuya looked straight at Jin, the latter meeting his gaze with a... loving one. Koji must have sensed something was off, so he got up.
“I have to go. I have practice in half an hour. Ne, Kazuya...” the younger one looked at him. “I won't tell dad yet; you have to do it. You have to tell him your decision.”
“I will, nii-chan.”
“Good. Do your best, Kazuya.” he bowed to Jin and left.
Even after Koji left, Kazuya was still in a bit of a shock. He just looked at Jin, who took another sip from his coffee and then smiled at the younger one.
“Jin, why... I mean... How...”
“Why don't we go? It's getting pretty late and I still have some work to do.” Jin signed and got up. He left the money for the coffee and gripped Kazuya's hand, dragging his still affected self along. They took a shortcut through the park, walking leisurely and in silence.
“Jin...” Kazuya let out and looked at the other, when he was suddenly pulled by him off the main walkway. “What are you doing?” he asked as Jin pushed him gently against a tree.
“It's true, Kazuya... What I told you earlier and what you didn't tell your brother.”
“But... how? I mean... I thought that you just needed-”
“You thought wrong.” he caressed Kazuya's cheek. “I-”
“No. Don't.” he looked up at Jin and pulled him closer to him. “I want to hear those words from you.” he smiled shyly and in the next second he felt Jin's lips on his and his arms around his waist. It was then when he realized he was starting to feel the same for the older one.
*
A few days later, Kazuya was already settled in his new apartment. He managed to convince his older brother to bring him some of his clothes and other stuff from the house, without his father knowing that. With the money that was left he bought himself some furniture and other things he needed and Jin dropped by to help him arrange stuff. He also bought Ran-chan her own bed and some toys. It didn't take them more than a few hours to finish the job and when they did, Jin cooked something for the both of them, while the younger one went to buy something to drink and some desert.
“Umai!”Kazuya let out as he tasted the omuraisu Jin cooked. “It's the best I've eaten up until now.” The cheerful tone made Jin smile at him.
“Thank you. It's my mom's recipe.”
“Is there anything you're not good at?” Kazuya chuckled.
“There is, but I'm not telling you.” he signaled and stuck his tongue out.
“Eeeh? Why?” Kazuya pouted, hoping he'd get an answer out of the other. But it didn't seem to work, as Jin continued eating and smiled at Kazuya's antics.
“Still not telling you.”
“Oh come on, Jin...” he whined, but the older one didn't give into his charm. “Wait, I just remembered something.” he stated and met Jin's questioning eyes. “Why didn't you let me finish reading that book?” he asked and saw how Jin's smiled faded almost instantly, but managed to put on a pretty fake one. He shook his head and got up, washing the dishes. “Jin...” Kazuya got up as well and approached the older one, hugging him from behind, with that occasion closing the water tap. Jin turned around and looked at the younger one, his smile completely gone. “Did I upset you?” he saw Jin shake his head and push him gently away.
“No, you didn't. But I don't want to hear about that book. Or any other books written by that... author.”
“But why?”
“Because... because I hate him.”
“Hate him? Why? I mean... do you know him?”
“Too well, maybe.”
“Are you close friends?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then how come you know him so well if you're not that close?”
“Because...” he paused and moved his gaze on the floor. “Because I'm him.”
“You're... Takaguchi Hitoshi?” Kazuya asked carefully, not yet fully realizing what Jin had said. “Wait... You're Takaguchi Hitoshi??” His eyes widened as he looked at the older one. “Why didn't you tell me?”
“I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid that if you finished the book, you might have hated me.”
“Why would I hate you?”
“The book doesn't have a happy ending, that's why. And the fact that the way we met was almost exactly like the one in the book, plus other scenes that were similar, I... I was afraid.” he turned around.
“Jin...” he let out and hugged the older one from behind. “I don't hate you. I can't.” He felt Jin's hands over his own as he rested them on the older one's stomach. He glued himself to Jin's back and kissed his shoulder. “Thank you.”Hearing that whisper, Jin turned around in the hug and looked at the younger one.
“Why are you thanking me?”
“Because you told me. Because you're near me and... because you protect me.” he said and placed his forehead on Jin's chest. He soon felt the older one's arms around him and a soft kiss being placed on his head. “Just as the title of the book... hearing your voice is my dream now. I hope I can hear it one day.” he looked up and smiled at Jin, who then caught his lips in a sweet kiss. But they were 'bothered' by Kazuya's little fur ball, who felt ignored and wanted some attention. Kazuya chuckled and brought her up, letting her join the hug.
Onto the next part
_____________
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Pairing: AKame
Genre: romance, a bit of everything else ^_^
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: Part 2
Summary: “Anata no koe, watashi no yume by Takaguchi Hitoshi.” Kazuya let out loud as he flipped it around; his eyes set on the synopsis on the back. “A girl with a broken past meets a young man who seemed different from others. Can he help her overcome it? Can she clear the misunderstanding that was created? And if she does, what will her biggest dream be?” Kazuya finished and just stared at the book. “Sounds... interesting.”
Disclaimer: I own their hearts.... no, wait... it's the other way around *sigh*
A/N: This is for my girl hinatah . Here's the second part of my b'day present dear *HUG* I know you were the one that gave me the idea, so this fic is yours and yours only <3
The next morning he was woken up by his dear Ran-chan, who was licking his face. The moment he opened his eyes, he saw her wiggling her tail and then running out of the room to play with Pin. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, after which he glanced around the room. He suddenly remembered what had happened before he went to sleep, so he got up and approached the altar. He sat down in front of it and took the photo that was put there, wanting to see if there was a name somewhere. But there wasn't, so he looked at the photo one last time before he put it down and arranged his bed. He then left the room to greet the inhabitants of the house, but there was no sign of them. Kazuya then glimpsed a piece of paper on the table with something written on it, and a key right next to it.
“In case you wake up after we leave, here's the key to lock the door if you go home. You can leave it under the rug. Jin.” he read the note out loud and took the key in his hand as he did so. “Home? I'm not going back there.” he let out, sad at his father's words. Kazuya thought that it would be nice for him to wait for at least one of them to come back, as he didn't want something to happen if he let the key where the older one said to leave it. He looked at the clock and thought that he should find something to do until the others came back home. So he took out the book he started reading and sat down somewhere to continue it.
He had reached the part where the young man in the story helped the girl escape from the people that were after her, hiding her at his place, where he was living with his mom and younger bro-
“This is too similar with what happened yesterday.” Kazuya frowned, but kept on reading.
She started realizing her feelings towards the young man. The only thing she knew about him was that violin was his hobby, even if he was very good at it, even better than her colleagues at music school. She remembered the day they met, how arrogant she was towards him, trying to intimidate him a bit, and how he didn't give in to her. What she really liked about him was that even if he knew she was so famous, he didn't seem to care. She learned to trust him in quite a short time, one of the reasons might have been that he couldn't - or wouldn't - talk. There was also a scene Kazuya found maybe too similar to one that happened the previous night: when she was about to leave the room they were in at some point, he grabbed her hand and got up, leaning in, placing a chaste kiss on her lips before they heard his mother and brother returning.
“Did he...” Kazuya's eyes widened as he realized what the older one wanted to do. “But... I'm straight...” he whispered to himself and continued reading.
It seemed that the girl had almost the same questions Kazuya did, especially regarding the photograph on the altar and she asked the young man about it the next day. But he didn't want to answer her and from that moment on, he shut himself away from her. She then sought his mother's help, who managed to calm him down a bit.
“This is getting way to creepy.” he let out. Just when he was about to find out what had happened to the boy in the photo, he heard the door unlock, which distracted him.
“Ah, Kamenashi-kun, you're still here.” Jin's mother let out with a smile.
“Y-yes. I didn't want to leave the key where Jin told me, afraid something might happen.”
“How sweet of you. Have you eaten?”
“No. But I'm not hungry, thank you.”
“You're lying, Kamenashi-kun.” she let out giggling. “You're too slim for your own good.”
“I have to be like this. With my career in-” he stopped and the woman looked at him. “I'm sorry. I forgot I don't have a baseball career anymore.” he chuckled bitterly.
“Then that means you can eat as much as you want, right?”
“Um... I guess so.”
The lady went into the kitchen to prepare something to eat, as her two sons would arrive soon. Kazuya offered his help and the lady gladly accepted it. However, she jut gave him simple tasks like cleaning the vegetables and such. Kazuya was feeling relaxed around her, himself. He wished his mother was warm and caring like her...
“What's wrong, Kamenashi-kun?”
“Please call me Kame or Kazuya.”
“Ok, Kazuya-kun. What happened? You look sad.”
“Nothing...”
“You have the same look my boys have when they're sad.”
“It's, um... can I be honest?”
“Of course, dear.”
“I was just thinking what it would be like to be part of a normal family. A family where everyone loves each other and not be so cold.”
“I'm sure your family cares about you, but in their own way.” she let out as she took the vegetables Kazuya worked on. “Every family has its moments of coldness towards each other. It happened in this family as well. But we overcame it.” She put the ingredients in the pot, washed and dried her hands and joined Kazuya at the table.
“My family is different. All they care about is money and fame. But that's not what I'm so upset about... I know my parents weren't pleased when I was born. Because I was born by accident. But I can't complain much, because they paid for everything they had to pay so I could get where I was. They seemed proud of me. But the moment the association suspended me, they became colder than they were.” he finished his words with a discouraged sigh.
“You poor thing. I'm surprised they don't care about such a wonderful child. I cannot believe they can't see the treasure they have.” she said and caressed Kazuya's hair, smiling at him. “Why don't you spend a few days with us? It might give your family and yourself some time to think.”
“Oh, no, I couldn't. I don't want to disturb you.”
“Nonsense dear. Any friend of my sons' is welcomed in our house.”
“Thank you, Akanishi-san.” Just when he was about to say something more, the two heard the door opening and closing and a pair of footsteps going their way.
“Ah, Jin. You're back.” She let out and the figure in the doorway was surprised to see Kazuya still there. “I asked Kazuya-kun to stay with us for a few days. You don't mind, right?” she smiled at her son and the latter's expression turned into a smiling one as well as he nodded. “The food will be ready soon. Let's just wait for your brother, ok?” Jin nodded as he approached his mother and kissed her forehead before sitting down. Kazuya was jealous about the scene he had witnessed, but kept it to himself. “Thank you for your help, Kazuya-kun. Why don't you boys go in the living room and set the table? Reio should be home soon and it would be nice to eat together with three handsome young men.” Kazuya saw Jin signaling something to his mother with a big grin on his face. “Don't be silly, dear. He really is handsome, but he's too young for me. Unfortunately.” she faked a heart-broken sigh, after which she laughed lightly. Kazuya glanced from the mother to the son and was taken a bit aback by the dazzling smile plastered on his face. His heart started beating a bit faster and Kazuya asked himself what was happening to him. But he soon woke up from his trance when the older one pushed a notepad with something written on it.
“About me? But...” he felt his cheeks burn a bit, so he got up and left the room fast. He heard soft giggles on his way to the room where he slept and couldn't help his blush spreading. And he didn't even know the reason for it. Moments later, the door to the room slid open and Jin entered, sitting down next to Kazuya. “I-I'm ok. It's just that... I don't know how to answer to sincere praises.” he looked away as he pulled his legs to his chest. “Please go... I don't want you to see this weak side of me. No one should see it.” he put his head on his knees, wishing the older one left. But to his dismay, he didn't. He just stood there, looking at Kazuya and waiting for... something. The younger man raised his eyes to glance at him and Jin went closer. “What do you want?” he asked softly, looking at the older one confused. Jin took his hand and caressed it just before he pulled the younger one in a tight hug. Kazuya struggled out of it, as he felt a bit awkward, for reasons unknown to him. “Let me go, Jin.” the latter did let go of him and pulled out his pen and paper. He wrote that Kazuya was more than welcome to stay at their place and that it also made him happy he agreed to stay. Buy Kazuya remembered the questions he wanted to ask. “Ne... about last night... right before your mother and brother came back.... what did you want to do? Why did you grab my hand and-” Kazuya stopped when he felt Jin's hand over his mouth, silencing him. He then saw what he wrote: that Kazuya shouldn't think too much into that. “And... I have another question...” he took a deep breath, remembering what was written in the book. What if Jin reacted that way too? “Were you the one here last night? I mean... I saw someone light the candles on the altar and...” he left his words stand as he saw Jin's smile fade. “Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have butted in.” he distanced himself a bit from the older one, afraid of his reaction. However, he was eased when the older one didn't do anything to him, instead picking up his notepad. “Why did I distanced myself? Well... Can I tell you the truth?” the older one nodded, so Kazuya continued. “I'm reading a book and... everything there seems so... familiar to what's happening.” Kazuya got up and brought it from the living room, where he sat to read it. “This is the one.” he gave it to Jin and looked at him. He saw how his face turned white and his eyes widened, suddenly feeling worried. “Are you ok?” he let out and wanted to touch Jin, but the latter backed away a bit. “Why shouldn't I finish reading it? But it's-” Kazuya sighed, not understanding why he should stop. “Fine, then. I won't read it anymore.” he let out disappointed and moved towards the window. He then came up with and idea and turned around, startling the still shocked form. “Will you teach me how to read sign language?” He saw the older one get back to his senses and nod faintly. “Thank you.” he went back and sat down near Jin. “Can we start now?” He received a positive answer and Jin showed him the signs to different words. He was starting to return to his normal self, Kazuya noticed and smiled inwardly. But he still wanted to find answers to his questions.
**
Kazuya spent the next week and something at Jin's place, doing simple chores and even cooking once or twice for the other three. Of course he knew he was a stranger in that house still, but he felt more loved there than by his own family. Kazuya was convinced that a loving family was what he wanted the most, even if people talked about his so-called love for money, women and fame. They were all lies. He blushed madly when, one afternoon after they ate and he was washing dishes, Jin's mother kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for the meal. And he felt his cheeks burn more when he saw Jin standing in the doorway, looking at him with a smirk on. They had fun those days and slowly, but steadily, he learned how to read basic sign language and could now understand what Jin wanted to say without using pen and paper. But there was something he tried fighting with: his feelings. He kept telling himself that he's not attracted to the older man, that they're just friends. But there were moments when he just wanted to jump on him and taste those big, plump lips. However, he managed to refrain himself from doing that, to his relief. He didn't know how he could face him if he did it.
During the night, Kazuya indeed convinced himself it was Jin that was... crying in front of the altar, but still didn't have the courage to ask him about it. He didn't want to upset him especially because...
“I like him.” he whispered to himself one night, when everyone else was asleep. He sat up and looked out the window. He couldn't see the stars, as much as he would have liked to. He just sat there, thinking about everything that was bothering him and everything that made him happy. He weighed them and reached the conclusion that he was happy in the presence of this family. If it were up to him, he'd live with them forever, but he was well aware of the fact that he had to leave soon. He has been there for more than a week and Kazuya thought that it might be best if he left, so as not to create any inconveniences for the family. He told himself that it was best to wait for the morning and say a proper goodbye. He was about to lie back down when he saw the older one entering the room. It seemed that Jin didn't notice him at first, and only did so when Kazuya whispered his name softly. That's when the older one stopped and looked at him through the dark. He sat down in front of the altar and lit the candles. Kazuya moved silently to his side and noticed him praying. As he sat down, he saw a small tear run down the older one's face as he turned to meet Kazuya's gaze. The younger one could see pain in his eyes, mixed with a bit of... fear?
“What's wrong?” he let out softly as he took Jin's hand in his. The dim candlelight made the older one's features seem much more appealing than before and this time Kazuya was the one who desperately wanted to hug him. “Tell me what's wrong.” he tried catching Jin's gaze, but to no avail. He couldn't look into Kazuya's eyes.
“I'll try to tell you...”
“Ok. If you want to stop, just stop then, ok?”
“The kid in the photo was my best friend. He died about ten years ago and it was all my fault. I killed him!” Jin's tears started falling freely at the memory.
“What do you mean you killed him?”
“Because I was the one that was supposed to die.” he sighed.
“Don't blame yourself for it.”
“Of course I am! If I hadn't asked him to join me in that stupid-” he stopped. Kazuya noticed the pain in his eyes as the older one glanced at him, a bit ashamed. That's when he did something that surprised Kazuya: Jin put a hand behind his neck and slowly pulled him close, pressing his lips against the younger one's. At first Kazuya didn't know how to react, seeing that he wasn't the only one... interested. He brought to his chest the hand in which he had Jin's hand, pulling himself closer to the older man, wanting to feel more of that warmth. He couldn't believe he didn't feel nauseated about kissing a guy, but felt rather good with Jin. His other hand made its way to the older one's face, resting on his jawline, while he felt Jin's arm snake around him, pulling him closer. But he soon broke the kiss and glanced at Jin before hugging him tight. No words were needed right then and Kazuya knew that. He knew that even if the older one didn't want to or couldn't talk, he would enjoy the silence. His silence.
“I guess... I guess this was bound to happen, sooner or later.” he let out softly and looked at Jin. He then smiled faintly, seeing that the older one's tears disappeared. He brushed away the remaining traces and smiled. “I want to be there for you, Jin. In these last few days you have given me the opportunity to see how a family should really be and I thank you for that. I cannot be more grateful.” he felt a small peck on his forehead. “I wish I could hear your voice...” Kazuya whispered to himself and rested his head on Jin's shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other's warmth, until Kazuya - barely - decided to let go. However, Jin asked him if he would let him sleep there, with him. Kazuya couldn't resist him, so he agreed, even making room for him. He watched the older one calm down, bit by bit, until he fell asleep. It was only then when the younger one mustered up some courage and caressed his hair lightly.
“I wonder what exactly happened...” he let out softly. Very soon he fell asleep too, thinking about his own problems.
*
The next day, Kazuya woke up, slowly opening his eyes. What came into his view was something that made his heart prickle: the older man was still sleeping, a peaceful expression on his face, and a few locks of his hair covering it. Kazuya was surprised when he noticed his hands held tightly to Jin's chest by the latter. He tried to release himself and let the older one continue sleeping, but he woke up.
“I'm sorry, I didn't want to...” he let his words hang as Jin sat up as well and rubbed his eyes. He then shook his head and smiled at Kazuya. The sleepy smile he had on made the younger one think he was very cute, a word that wouldn't normally suit Jin. “Are you ok?” The older one nodded.
“Look, about last night...”
“Don't explain. Please.” Kazuya smiled and got up.
“But I want to. Please let me explain.” he signed and Kazuya followed his request, sitting down in front of him.
“Ok.”
“It happened about ten years ago. I went on a trip with my best friend somewhere near Tokyo, with the thought of catching some fish, or at least have some fun. When we got there, we rented a boat to go on the lake. Everything was fine until something happened in the lake which produced a big wave, hitting our boat and throwing me overboard. He then jumped in to save me, but he...” Kazuya noticed Jin started shaking a bit.
“Jin, calm down.” he let out softly and gripped his hands, but the older one released himself seconds later.
“Sorry. It's the first time I'm telling someone else this.”
“Don't force yourself.”
“But I want to tell you this.” Jin shook his head softly.
“You can tell me some other time. No need to get upset.” he smiled. Kazuya couldn't believe how much this man started to change him. He became so... soft after meeting him and his family, so... loved. He couldn't resist the urge to hug Jin, and when he did, Jin embraced him tight. “By the way, don't you have work today?” he let go and looked at him.
“It's Saturday, Kame.” he smiled. The younger one liked seeing him smile, thinking that that was indeed a real and nice smile.
“It is?” Kazuya chuckled. “Come on, let's go eat breakfast. I'm sure your mom's waiting for us.” he let out and urged Jin to go ahead. On his way out of the room, he heard his phone vibrating, letting Kazuya know he received a new message. He took his phone out, flipped it open and read the message. It was from one of his older brothers, asking him to answer his phone. He then checked his missed calls list and, as he scrolled down the list, he saw a lot of calls from him. He was the closest one to Kazuya from the whole family, but not close enough to tell him what was on his mind. He decided to dial his brother's number and see what he wanted.
“Moshimoshi?”
“Kazuya? Where the hell are you? Mom and dad are looking for you!”
“I'm at... a friend's place.”
“For almost two weeks?”
“Stop yelling at me, nii-chan!” he whispered. “What do they want?”
“They don't know where you disappeared to.”
“Well father told me that if I leave, I won't return to the house. And I was a good child and listened to him.”
“Cut the irony, Kazuya. He wants you to return.”
“Why?”
“Because... I don't know why. He just does.”
“Try not to listen to him blindly, nii-chan. Tell them I'm ok and I don't need them to worry. “
“But...”
“Goodbye, nii-chan. I'll call you soon.” he let out and hung up, leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get rid of the sudden feeling of fear and anger forming inside his chest.
“Kazuya, are you ok?” he saw Jin sign to him.
“Uhm... yeah.”
“Sure?” The younger one nodded. “Ok then, let's go eat.”
That day, Kazuya was a bit affected by the thought that his father actually wanted him back. But he was already old enough to take care of himself and decided to search for his own apartment. He had some money he saved for cases such as this when he might need some, and he still had to receive his last paycheck from the baseball club. From what Kazuya counted, the money was enough to buy himself a small apartment and afford living for a few weeks until he found another job. But what job could he get? The only thing he was good at was baseball and he was certain a lot of people knew about the scandal, thus minimizing his job options. He flopped on the floor in front of the TV and sighed.
“What's wrong?” Jin signed and sat down near Kazuya.
“I have to make some decisions and they're pretty hard to make.”
“Like?”
“I want to move into my own apartment and get a job, any job.” he let out and placed his forehead on his knees. He felt a soft caress on his hair. He tried thinking about what he should do and looked up at Jin, who smiled at him softly. “If I do that... will you move in with me? I mean... don't take it the wrong way, but... I don't like being alone.” he turned his gaze at his feet, staring at them as he felt so... lost. However, he came back to his senses when he felt himself being pressed to the older one's chest. Kazuya encircled his arms around his waist, feeling very safe in those arms. “Please say something...” he let out and pressed his head against Jin's chest, trying to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes. He didn't hear his voice this time either, but as an apology, Jin placed a soft kiss on his hair as he was caressing the younger one's back lightly. “So... would you like to move in with me?” he gazed at the other with his teary eyes, an image that would break anyone's heart. Jin let go of him and paused.
“I don't know if I can. That would mean leaving my mom and Reio alone and...”
“It's alright. I understand if you can't.” he smiled bitterly and sat up, wiping his tears away.
“Kame...”
“It's ok, Jin. I understand. I'd rather stay with my family too if I were in your shoes and not with a stranger.” he let out and got up. He turned around as Jin caught his attention.
“Where are you going?”
“To find a place to stay. You've been too kind to me and I can't bring myself to bother you any further.” Kazuya stepped outside of the living room into the hallway and was about to put his shoes on when he felt himself being turned around into a hug. “Jin, what-” his words were cut by those soft, plump lips Kazuya liked feeling on his own.
“Don't go. Stay with me.”
“I can't stay here. I don't want to put your family in danger. You're the most amazing persons I ever met and I'm grateful for that. I really am. And that's the main reason I have to go.”
“I'll talk to my mom and see if she'll manage without me here.”
“What? Does that mean...”
“I won't leave you alone.” That phrase made Kazuya smile.
“Thank you.” he let out and hugged the older one.
“Why don't we try searching online? It's faster and you can get a lot of results.”
“Really?” Jin nodded. “Show me then.”
Jin went after his laptop and both of them sat at the table next to each other, so both could see. They searched for about an hour and Kazuya saw some good offers, Jin urging him to call and ask about the price and stuff. He then decided over two small apartments somewhere near the park - in which vicinity was Jin's home - and went to check them out. Finally, Kazuya liked the second one more because it had a nice view of the park and the rooms were a bit bigger compared to the first. He talked with the owner and got a small discount since he said he was able to pay cash. The latter told him it would take a few days to process the documents, but he could move in if he wanted, as soon as the payment was done. Kazuya told the owner that they could meet on Monday to sign papers and deal with the bureaucracy, Jin offering his help as well. After they were done, Kazuya invited Jin for a coffee, wanting to thank him for his help and for his time. They found a pretty cozy place near the block where Kazuya would live in and entered it.
“Thanks for coming with me. I don't know what I would have done without your help.” he smiled sheepishly at Jin.
“No need to thank me. It was my pleasure.” he smiled back. The waitress soon brought them their order. Kazuya looked out the window, wondering if he took the right decision. He was trying to convince himself that he did, because he needed to get on with his life and not depend on his father anymore, him being the one managing his and his brothers' careers. And he had had enough. He wanted to be free, to decide for himself and... to fall in love. That was what he was thinking about when he felt a soft touch on his hand, bringing him back to reality. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing. I was just... thinking.”
“About?”
“How my life changed in such a short span of time.”
“In a good or bad way?” he took his cup of coffee and sipped from it.
“I guess you can say a good way.”
“Then why that serious expression?”
“Serious?” Jin nodded. “Well...” he paused a bit as he thought about saying his mind. “I was thinking that I'm glad I sort of escaped my father's grip. I love baseball, but I hated the way he managed my career. Sometimes it was too tiring for me, but I always gritted my teeth and told myself to hang on for a while longer. And then... well, one day it went downhill.”
“The accident?”
“Yes. Is it wrong if I'm glad it happened? I mean... it gave me time to breathe. Even if I spent a month behind bars...” he chuckled bitterly. He noticed Jin taking out a notepad and writing something, after which he gave it to Kazuya. 'It's not wrong to think that way. If this happened to you, then it happened for a reason. And honestly? I'm glad it happened to you, because this way I got to meet you, something I always wanted ever since I saw you on TV. And if anything else happens, I want to be there for you.' Kazuya read it to himself and couldn't help the small smile that escaped his lips. “Thank you.” he let out and gripped Jin's hand lightly.
“Kazuya?” he turned around when he heard his name and took his hand away from Jin's in that instant, his smile also disappearing. “What are you doing here?”
“Nii-chan...”
“You know dad is-”
“Nii-chan, I'd like you to meet Akanishi Jin, a friend of mine.” he let out fast, not wanting to talk about his father. “Jin, this is my brother, Kamenashi Koji.” the older brother turned to Jin and bowed, the latter responding to it.
“You should come back home with me. Now.”
“I don't want to, nii-chan. Tell father that I won't be coming back.” he turned his gaze away from his brother, upset.
“You know he won't take 'no' for an answer. You have to come, Kazuya.”
“No, nii-chan. I don't have to go back.” he let out in a low tone, with slightly gritted teeth. “And I'll tell you why: I'm buying a small apartment and I'll be living alone. I'll find a job and go on with my life.”
“Kazuya, you can't- baseball is the only thing you know...”
“Of course. Father made sure of that.” While the two brothers were bickering, Jin watched them silently. Kazuya looked at him when he realized what he was doing. He mouthed 'sorry' to Jin and calmed down. “Look, nii-chan... I don't want to argue with you. Just go home and forget that you saw me. And don't tell him what I'm up too, for now. I need time and space to think and to breathe. If you can't do this small favor I'm asking, then forget I was even born in that family.”
“Kazuya, stop saying stupid things. You know he cares about you and-”
“Nii-chan, he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have acted so cold towards me, as if he... despises me. Your situation is different than mine. I'm not asking you to understand.” He turned away from his brother again, glancing at Jin, wondering what he was thinking about their argument.
“Look, Kazuya...”he pulled a chair and sat down. “It would be better if you returned home.”
“I don't want to talk about it anymore, nii-chan. No offense. Plus, we're not alone.” Hearing Kazuya's words, the older brother looked at Jin, analyzing him.
“Akanishi-san was it, right?” he asked and Jin nodded. “Tell me... what do you want from my brother? Money?”
“Nii-chan!”
“Shut up, Kazuya, I'm talking to your... friend here. So tell me... what do you want from him?”
“Nii-chan, he-”
“Kazuya.” he glared at his younger brother. “Answer me, Akanishi-san.”
The older brother looked at Jin with a frown, seemingly impatient. However, the latter just shrugged and started 'talking' through signs.
“W-what's he doing?” Koji turned to his younger brother, confused about what Jin was doing, and saw Kazuya sigh.
“He can't speak, nii-chan. And I wanted to tell you that, but you never give me a chance to say anything.” he let out and sat back in his chair.
“Then... what did he... say just now? And when did you learn to read sign language?”
“He taught me. And he said he doesn't want money or stuff like that from me.” he said and saw Jin continue. “He says that he just wants to be there for me and-” He stopped talking and just gaped at Jin. He couldn't believe his eyes.
“And?”
“A-and he... he just wants to be my friend.” A heavy silence lay over them as Kazuya looked straight at Jin, the latter meeting his gaze with a... loving one. Koji must have sensed something was off, so he got up.
“I have to go. I have practice in half an hour. Ne, Kazuya...” the younger one looked at him. “I won't tell dad yet; you have to do it. You have to tell him your decision.”
“I will, nii-chan.”
“Good. Do your best, Kazuya.” he bowed to Jin and left.
Even after Koji left, Kazuya was still in a bit of a shock. He just looked at Jin, who took another sip from his coffee and then smiled at the younger one.
“Jin, why... I mean... How...”
“Why don't we go? It's getting pretty late and I still have some work to do.” Jin signed and got up. He left the money for the coffee and gripped Kazuya's hand, dragging his still affected self along. They took a shortcut through the park, walking leisurely and in silence.
“Jin...” Kazuya let out and looked at the other, when he was suddenly pulled by him off the main walkway. “What are you doing?” he asked as Jin pushed him gently against a tree.
“It's true, Kazuya... What I told you earlier and what you didn't tell your brother.”
“But... how? I mean... I thought that you just needed-”
“You thought wrong.” he caressed Kazuya's cheek. “I-”
“No. Don't.” he looked up at Jin and pulled him closer to him. “I want to hear those words from you.” he smiled shyly and in the next second he felt Jin's lips on his and his arms around his waist. It was then when he realized he was starting to feel the same for the older one.
*
A few days later, Kazuya was already settled in his new apartment. He managed to convince his older brother to bring him some of his clothes and other stuff from the house, without his father knowing that. With the money that was left he bought himself some furniture and other things he needed and Jin dropped by to help him arrange stuff. He also bought Ran-chan her own bed and some toys. It didn't take them more than a few hours to finish the job and when they did, Jin cooked something for the both of them, while the younger one went to buy something to drink and some desert.
“Umai!”Kazuya let out as he tasted the omuraisu Jin cooked. “It's the best I've eaten up until now.” The cheerful tone made Jin smile at him.
“Thank you. It's my mom's recipe.”
“Is there anything you're not good at?” Kazuya chuckled.
“There is, but I'm not telling you.” he signaled and stuck his tongue out.
“Eeeh? Why?” Kazuya pouted, hoping he'd get an answer out of the other. But it didn't seem to work, as Jin continued eating and smiled at Kazuya's antics.
“Still not telling you.”
“Oh come on, Jin...” he whined, but the older one didn't give into his charm. “Wait, I just remembered something.” he stated and met Jin's questioning eyes. “Why didn't you let me finish reading that book?” he asked and saw how Jin's smiled faded almost instantly, but managed to put on a pretty fake one. He shook his head and got up, washing the dishes. “Jin...” Kazuya got up as well and approached the older one, hugging him from behind, with that occasion closing the water tap. Jin turned around and looked at the younger one, his smile completely gone. “Did I upset you?” he saw Jin shake his head and push him gently away.
“No, you didn't. But I don't want to hear about that book. Or any other books written by that... author.”
“But why?”
“Because... because I hate him.”
“Hate him? Why? I mean... do you know him?”
“Too well, maybe.”
“Are you close friends?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then how come you know him so well if you're not that close?”
“Because...” he paused and moved his gaze on the floor. “Because I'm him.”
“You're... Takaguchi Hitoshi?” Kazuya asked carefully, not yet fully realizing what Jin had said. “Wait... You're Takaguchi Hitoshi??” His eyes widened as he looked at the older one. “Why didn't you tell me?”
“I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid that if you finished the book, you might have hated me.”
“Why would I hate you?”
“The book doesn't have a happy ending, that's why. And the fact that the way we met was almost exactly like the one in the book, plus other scenes that were similar, I... I was afraid.” he turned around.
“Jin...” he let out and hugged the older one from behind. “I don't hate you. I can't.” He felt Jin's hands over his own as he rested them on the older one's stomach. He glued himself to Jin's back and kissed his shoulder. “Thank you.”Hearing that whisper, Jin turned around in the hug and looked at the younger one.
“Why are you thanking me?”
“Because you told me. Because you're near me and... because you protect me.” he said and placed his forehead on Jin's chest. He soon felt the older one's arms around him and a soft kiss being placed on his head. “Just as the title of the book... hearing your voice is my dream now. I hope I can hear it one day.” he looked up and smiled at Jin, who then caught his lips in a sweet kiss. But they were 'bothered' by Kazuya's little fur ball, who felt ignored and wanted some attention. Kazuya chuckled and brought her up, letting her join the hug.
Onto the next part
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