My Heart
Hmm...so much going on lately...
This is the closest I have been, with this many of my friends in my life... and yet, I feel so alone. I was thinking tonight about my last REAL relationship. Despite the fact that it ended in bitter tragedy, it was a feeling unlike any I had felt in my life. I was in love and the feeling was beyond words. It sounds so passe' to say it, but its the comfort I miss- The whole idea that someone out there returns a little piece of how you feel. That you can love so completely, and be loved in return. It's been over two years since last I felt that connection. The feeling still lingers, but the mind has moved on. It's like a severed connection...it's still there just raw and exposed for all the world to see. I have always thought of myself as a hopeless romantic, wanting nothing more than to find the right girl, sweep her off her feet and be her "knight in shinning armour." I do believe fairy tale relationships can exist, and I also believe in the existance of TRUE love. Funny how the ideals of La Boheme or Moulin Rouge always return to conscious memory at these times of reflection.
TRUTH, FREEDOM, BEAUTY, LOVE (Above all things, I believe in love)
These all exist for a purpose. In the mind's eye, they serve to entwine a couple in each other's embrace and make the world around them stand still and fade away. For me, I think of love as unrequited, and a constant pursuit... it is the emotion that drives all of us, in the beauty of music it can make a sonnet uplift to the heavens or come crashing back down to the depths of hell by showing the wrought emotion of love's labor lost. I know this feeling all too well. The absence of love in my life still drives me to tears in my sleep. I wish everyone that has found their connection well, and that they hold on to that special bond. I am here with the constant hope of someone. One day I might again find that feeling that was driven from me so long ago. That I may once again feel the sweet touch of love's true embrace. In the meantime, my shield and knightly apparel await collecting dust.
This is the closest I have been, with this many of my friends in my life... and yet, I feel so alone. I was thinking tonight about my last REAL relationship. Despite the fact that it ended in bitter tragedy, it was a feeling unlike any I had felt in my life. I was in love and the feeling was beyond words. It sounds so passe' to say it, but its the comfort I miss- The whole idea that someone out there returns a little piece of how you feel. That you can love so completely, and be loved in return. It's been over two years since last I felt that connection. The feeling still lingers, but the mind has moved on. It's like a severed connection...it's still there just raw and exposed for all the world to see. I have always thought of myself as a hopeless romantic, wanting nothing more than to find the right girl, sweep her off her feet and be her "knight in shinning armour." I do believe fairy tale relationships can exist, and I also believe in the existance of TRUE love. Funny how the ideals of La Boheme or Moulin Rouge always return to conscious memory at these times of reflection.
TRUTH, FREEDOM, BEAUTY, LOVE (Above all things, I believe in love)
These all exist for a purpose. In the mind's eye, they serve to entwine a couple in each other's embrace and make the world around them stand still and fade away. For me, I think of love as unrequited, and a constant pursuit... it is the emotion that drives all of us, in the beauty of music it can make a sonnet uplift to the heavens or come crashing back down to the depths of hell by showing the wrought emotion of love's labor lost. I know this feeling all too well. The absence of love in my life still drives me to tears in my sleep. I wish everyone that has found their connection well, and that they hold on to that special bond. I am here with the constant hope of someone. One day I might again find that feeling that was driven from me so long ago. That I may once again feel the sweet touch of love's true embrace. In the meantime, my shield and knightly apparel await collecting dust.