(no subject)

[bailerina17]

its been a million years since i updated...well..not realy but close enough! lol. so anyways, heres an update on lately. the band and show choir went on the dc/annapolis trip, and it was really fun. pool was closed tho, poo on that. my friends were great, but we def missed anna and sarah! we took lots of pix, and i made a slide show of them but its a hugemongous file and probly wont fit on here. in busch gardens some lady that worked there handing out maps yelled at me. heres what happened. we just went on a water ride and i was soaked, and i was wearing my bikini (its like...straight across so u cant see anything) and we walked by that lady she was like ur inappropriate u needa put a shirt on. i was SO pist....what a jerk. so i was fuming abt it outside ireland giftshop and a few kids (Freshmen) from school walked by. i knew them by sight jus never talked to em b4. so one of them notices im upset and hes like whats wrong? so i told him the story (w/o knowing his name!! ) haha until i finally was like umm...whats ur name? and he said alex. so he ended up going around the park with me and my friends. we went on another water ride (by then i was like FUCK THE LADY and took my shirt back off lol!) and itw as me alex stacia and heather, and 4 seats her boat thingy. stacia and heather squished in the back, and of course that left....me and alex for the front. basiclaly he hadda straddle me! haha so yeah, it was interesting, me in a bikini in his lap having jus met him. lol! on the big drop i kinda flipped my hair in his face on accident and he got a mouthful..lol that was funny. our performances while we were down there sucked ass tho...oh man...really...bad. they stopped our music on us! jerks..but we picked up and kept going anyways. we got back from the trip and it was ap test week. that blew...oh man toooooo many tests. i took the english mon, calc tues, and history fri. then sats on saturday!! i skipped a day that week to do homework and had a field trip, so combined with everything i missed 7 days of: english, advisory, calc, phyiscs, and most of history. that was kinda cool. im way behind in everything tho, and my grades arent that hot. spanish is frustrating me a ton b/c im not doing as good as i always had in spanish. i wish i was more smart seriously...i know ppl would fault me for saying that, but idk...i just feel 2 inches tall most of the time when it comes to how smart i am even tho i am high up in class rank. whatever. ive so had enough ive got premature senioritis. im sooooooo sick of work. i stay up all hrs of the fucking night doing it! but yeah more on the alex thing from before. we started talking online, cuz i asked sum1 for his sn. first hannah but she gave me the wrong one so i got it from sum1 else but i forget. i ended up liking him n stuff, and i told him. only prob was, her had a gf, ashli. (sry alex...i dont like her much...i dont much like being called the c word she had a chance until she did that lol) but yeah, he ended up liking me too. which obviously...created...problems. to make a long story short, he ended up breaking up with her. she cried for a few days, and it made me feel soo bad...i felt like such a bitch. i almost wondered if it was ok, seriously, cuz she was/still is sooo upset (its been a week n she still cries at school.....u can imagine how that makes me feel..but w/e, its over now and theres really nothin that can be done, cuz it definitely wont go back to how it was) a few days after she 'talked' to me and basically said shes not mad anymore but dont ever hurt him. i was like ok. so then at the end of that same day, i was talking to milla and alex walking outside, and alex left. me and milla were walking back into school cuz we had practice, and who comes up to me but ashli. she flipped a nut on me at the top of her lungs, every swear imaginable and the c word like 50x. i was kinda dumbfounded, i dint do or say anything, but i was kinda blown away literally. it like winded me lol. it made me feel worse tho, cuz obviously shes hurt and trying to get her anger out, obviously on me. but at the moment i couldnt be happier. alex makes me feel like the only girl in the world. he always says the sweetest things and always puts a smile on my face. he may be a freshman, and im a junior, but i really dont care. this is the first time really that im doin suttin for me, something that makes ME feel happy and not caring what other ppl think. im the same person, only doing something that i feel is right for me. he treats me like a princess and i love that. i actually feel like a better person cuz of it (minus the ashli part...) beaner and i had a heart to heart abt it the other day, and im really realizing that my friends are still guna be by me no matter what. im still me. i mean, me anna and alex went to the movies last night, and it was so awesome. alex went to my game before hand, and i got 2 double plays in the first 2 innings and then sucked tho, but i was so happy he was there. i slept over annas house after (first time sleeping over anyones house for me!! i loved it thanks chica!) he paid for me AND her. how sweet is that? not many guys do that. keith freshman year made ME pay for HIM. asshole...but regardless, hes the best thing thats happened to me honestly. anna likes him too and totally approves :-). we all definitely had fun and i wanna do it again :-D. it just...felt so..right with him holding me. idk how to explain it...but it jus did. it kinda gave me a buzz also when he kissed me. anyways, thats it for now cuz its later. ill save today's happenings for a later time cuz it was all sucky.

ps i sang in front of alex yesterday in annas car. I SANG!! IN FRONT OF SUM1!! that like never happens, but he makes me feel like nothing matters but him...and i just feel comfortable around him. if ur reading this alex, thanks. for being u, for everything really. i love u :-*