am I oblivious? Stupid? Right on track?
I don't really know. I'm a bit dizzy actually. I have the mellow sounds of buckethead's soothsayer going and I'm thinking of a few things which never really turn out well. I don't really know what I'm thinking of either, I;m not sure if it's a searching for a purpose or place to belong or if I have the right make myself belong in anyone's life or even the possibility to do so. then I think oh well...if I'm meant to be there then I'll be there...but what if I am supposed to be there but that rests solely upon my actions to make it so? What if it doesn't but I think it does and I act on those thoughts...heh...see why I'm dizzy? Then...maybe some people just don't want me around...ugh...I just don't know...I'm just looking forward to some wings tomorrow...and maybe some drumming. I'm going to stay away from the computer for the majority of the day and meditate on this. We'll see where it takes me...