Been a while
Well its been a while since I have updated. Things have been up and down lately but they are looking up for now! I had a good last week at the state. It was a fun job and I would gladly do it again if given the chance. I went to the fair a few times and it was good. The last saturday I was home was a little sad knowing that was the last time I was going to hang out with my friends from home. We all went to the fair and it was good for the most part. You know up until Jeremy came and acted like I was just no one. I did end up getting to talk to him but Im not sure that it was worth anything in the end. We did both come to realize that it was not just my fault that all this happened there were also things that he could have done to help it from not happening. It was basically a lot of crying and not much finding common ground. I told him that I know that things will never be the same no matter what he says. You know you can not change the past and who knows what the future holds. It was hard to say good-bye but in the end I did it and it was for the best.
I got to school on the 17th and moving in was pretty much smooth sailing. It was a lot easier this time than the last time I was here. I really like where I am staying. It is pretty roomy compared to the regular dorms here on campus. I had a good weekend and I spent today getting organized so that I would not feel like a chicken with my head cut off on Monday.
I started going back to church today and it felt really good. I have not been in a long time but I just did not have any reason to go or so I thought I had no reason to go. I guess I was a little mad at God because I felt like everytime that life seems to get good something crazy happens to mess it all up. I know that is not Gods fault but you know you just dont always think straight when things are crazy in your life. I really like the church here on campus. Its nice and I felt really welcomed there. They had a lunch today after mass and I stayed for that it was nice. The priest was good to. He was talking about a friend on his who was from New York and he use to always say Life is a bitch! I guess this man had a really hard life and he would tell the priest that he really hopes that there is a heaven becuase otherwise he would feel like he got screwed in life. He said thats what keeps him going each day is knowing that someday he will be in heavan. And as he put it a great place to be.
It was really uplifting to here the sermon today. It gave me a big ray of hope for myself and I think that I really needed that at this point in my life. I know that I have been feeling so down lately and I was not sure what I was going to do to get myself out of that feeling. Who knew that going to church would be the solution. I have an aunt that always tells me if your not sure of something pray about it and you will find the answer. Well I guess that I have found my answer becuase even though I have not been going to church I have been praying about what I needed to do to get myself back to being happy like I normally am. And you know these past few days have been some of the happiest that I have had in a long time. I finally feel good about myself and what I am doing with my life.
I really only have one more issue to figure out. I have to decide if I want to do the special education certicate. It will take me an extra semester but I am really leaning towards it. I would also be able to teach regular education and that is why I would have to stay an extra semester. Im torn about what to do but I know that I will figure it out soon. I just dont want to be kicking myself later if I dont do. You I feel like I have a lot of love in my heart to give and those kids really need that. I know that I would feel very satisfied doing it and I would feel like I have a purpose on this earth for once! I think that I need to think hard tonight so I can decide tomorrow about what to do.
Well not much else going on. More at a later date in time!