HSJ White Love
Warning: This post contains extensive discussion of mental health issues that may be triggering.
Hello everyone, how are you feeling today? I hope you are well and happy :) Before I get down to HSJ new single White Love, I just have a little rant. I apologise before hand if anyone feel offended. I'm not trying to use HSJ and link it to the rant, but since their single is released around the same time as the current incident, I thought I'll just get my thought out.
PS. If you feel like all the news regarding this incident is too much for you, then feel free to just skip and download the songs without reading my rant.
[Rant on depression ...]
To be honest I am still heartbroken after hearing the news about SHINEE's Kim Jonghyun, though it made me realise that its OK to say that you are not OK, you are not fine and you need some comforting. Do you know what's the problem with our society is? Whenever someone says "I'm having a hard time", most of the time people will just say "You think only you are having it hard? Everyone is the same". So there are many people who seems very happy on the outside but depressed on the inside. Honestly, I am one of them. Furthermore, whether you are a man or a woman, you will be told the equivalent of "man up". People thinks that what is tolerable for the majority is expected to be tolerable for the entirety.
More so, people make assumption that because you are rich, famous, successful, etc you cannot suffer from depression. People need to learn that depression can hit anyone regardless of who they are - rich, poor, weak, strong. Jonghyun (according to us) had everyting we all wanted - fame, fortune, success, loved by millions of fans and family. However, the only thing he really really wanted was happiness. Can't even imagine how sad and tragic that is :( What's more tragic is that he tried to get help, he tried to cling on to life so desperately. He talked to his family, his friends and even to us fans. He consulted the doctor about his illness but none of us could help him and towards the end he was just too tired. I was told that people who commit suicide didn't do it because they want to die, they do it because they want to end their pain.
I had a fair share of hard times in my life (I won't call it depression since I don't think mine was that severe). And guess what, I did try to seek some help. My doctor (GP not psychologist or the likes) told me to go out more and meet friends and people. I think this is what Jonghyun meant when he said the doctor told him to change his attitude like it was his fault or something. To some degree I agree with Jonghyun because at that times I felt very annoyed with my doctor as well. I mean, do you not know why I came here in the first place. If I can talk with my friends then probably I would have. On the other hand, however, I don't want to put the blame on the doctor. I believe the doctor meant well when he said that, you kind of talk to people about your problems. But when you were in that kind of state, that kind of advice could be taken wrongly, as in the case of Jonghyun. Fortunately for me, my case was very light and not so severe, so I could move on and continue on with life.
UPDATE: *I add more rant here*
* Yesterday, an acquaitance of mine told me (ironically he is a doctor), that he doesn't undertand why people like Jonghyun would commit suicide. He was popular, rich and loved by many. He then continued on saying people with priviledge such as him should go to Africa and experienced the life in there to open his eyes and know what hardship really mean. First of all, let me highlight again that HE IS A DOCTOR!!!! yes, a doctor! The one who is supposed to help you heal, not criticised you for feeling more helpless and more alienated. I do think that this is the kind of doctor Jonghyun talked about in his farewell note. I am not blaming the doctor, because I do understand what he meant. My parents and brothers used to tell me that whenever you feel down, then starts looking down instead of up. Its good that you look up so you can become a better person, but when you look down then you start to realise that your life is not that bad. That kind of advice works on normal people (I'm not trying to offend anyone, but by normal I mean those without mental issue), but when you are in depression, it doesn't work that way. In defence of that doctor (I do think that he is a good person, but this again highlight the misconception of depression), he did say that he felt sorry for people sufferring from depression and how tragic it is that they felt that way.
Now, onto the song itself. The title track, White Love is used as the main theme song for Chinen Yuri's new film Miseinen Dakedo Kodomo Janai, with rough translation I am a minor but I am not a child (some site state it as That is Not a Child But a Minor). I actually shudder upon hearing the title, HOWEVER, I think the actual storyline is not that bad. The female lead (played by Yuna Taira) is 16 and the male lead (Kento Nakajima) is her sempai in High School (so around 17/18). So its not like what many people think about relationship between old man and a minor. The only issue I have here is probably them being in an arranged married at 16.
[DOWNLOAD FOR HSJ's WHITE LOVE]
I'm too tired (and don't feel like) typing up the track list and such, so you can just find the details https://www.j-storm.co.jp/heysayjump/discography/white-love
And download link! The zip files contains all the songs from all edition.
Depression is tragic! The strongest people hide it. The more you approach them and ask them to open up, the more they shrivel away. Sometimes, showering them with love and understanding is not always the answer. That's what makes depression so dangerous. And this time, it claimed Jonghyun as its victim :(
Keep your friends a little closer, hug your loved ones a little tighter, cherish every moment with the people around you.
If you or someone you know is at risk of self-harm or suicide, seek help as soon as possible by contacting agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention in the United States and abroad.