Most people would reevaluate their life choices if they went through alcohol swabs at the rate I do.
Well, hello there, faithful viewers. It's been awhile. As you probably know, I'm stranded up in NoVa with no transport of my own, waiting for my mother to decide my fate. Hopefully I'll be back in Staunton soon. Maybe I'll even be back in school. For the moment, however, I'm hanging in limbo, fighting for higher doses of Zoloft and sneaking out for a smoke when it gets too much. But I've also been writing, and sewing, and terraforming my room. And finishing this here angsty song about my family. I'm actually really proud of it. I'd like to show it to them, in the hopes it might help them understand where I'm coming from in this whole tangled thing we have, but they'd probably just take offense. So, another one for the vaults, I suppose. Anyway, here it is:
I have mother’s mangled, gaping brain,
Dad’s sharp eyes and silver tongue.
I’ve Grammy’s health and her resignation.
I have a roadmap flowing in my veins
And burns upon my arms
Chart some dark and distant constellation
You’re in my blood, my DNA
You’re in my thoughts when I kneel and do not pray
Your names are in my lips and your number in my fingertips
But I’ve learned to walk away
I’m sorry you can’t trust what you can’t tame
When you raised me to be wild
To walk alone with my ambition
I have given up alleging we’re the same
And I thought you ought to know
I’ve not come here in contrition
You’re in my blood, my DNA
You’re in my thoughts when I kneel and do not pray
Your names are in my lips and your number in my fingertips
But I’ve learned to walk away
Tell me why that’s not enough
Tell me what I’d have to do
Give it to me straight, give it to me off the cuff
When I want nothing from you
Not your money nor your home nor least of all your love
When I’ve lived here long enough to see what it has done
Just tell me what you want
And you’ll still be in my blood, my DNA
You’re still there in my thoughts when I’m choosing not to stay
Just take your names out of my lips, take your number from my fingers
Just let me take a breath as I turn to walk away
I have mother’s mangled, gaping brain,
Dad’s sharp eyes and silver tongue.
I’ve Grammy’s health and her resignation.
I have a roadmap flowing in my veins
And burns upon my arms
Chart some dark and distant constellation
You’re in my blood, my DNA
You’re in my thoughts when I kneel and do not pray
Your names are in my lips and your number in my fingertips
But I’ve learned to walk away
I’m sorry you can’t trust what you can’t tame
When you raised me to be wild
To walk alone with my ambition
I have given up alleging we’re the same
And I thought you ought to know
I’ve not come here in contrition
You’re in my blood, my DNA
You’re in my thoughts when I kneel and do not pray
Your names are in my lips and your number in my fingertips
But I’ve learned to walk away
Tell me why that’s not enough
Tell me what I’d have to do
Give it to me straight, give it to me off the cuff
When I want nothing from you
Not your money nor your home nor least of all your love
When I’ve lived here long enough to see what it has done
Just tell me what you want
And you’ll still be in my blood, my DNA
You’re still there in my thoughts when I’m choosing not to stay
Just take your names out of my lips, take your number from my fingers
Just let me take a breath as I turn to walk away