out^2
Last night I had my coming-out ball at my house! It was nicely well-attended, and it was great to see people from all the various social groups I have all talking to each other and meeting each other and stuff. I was kind of bouncing and flitting around between groups the whole night, so I didn't get to have too many really deep conversations, but I had a good time anyway, and I didn't really expect to be able to have heart-to-hearts since I was hosting so much. People were all commenting on how it was the only ball this season; I suppose that must be because it's the season for gaiety rather than the season for balls.
Halfway through the party, I figured out why having the party was a good idea. I intuitively knew it was for months, but it took until then to actually understand: I wanted to gather everyone and show them I wasn't a boy. I wanted to give everyone a mental image of me that they could use to help remember name and pronouns and stuff. I don't know for sure if that's what people got out of it, but I think it's possible. I mean, the party was a good time, and all of that, and it serves well enough to mark an important time in my life, but in terms of the social manipulation of symbols, it was ironically strangely close to the meaning of "being presented to society".
I don't think I remember anyone taking photos, though if someone did, I might like to see them. So many people were dressed up so nicely! I had two outfits to wear, even; I changed mid-party. Gratuitous, but fun. The second one was a long enough dress that it required heels not to drag on the floor, so I was amazingly stupidly tall for a bit. Perhaps I will hem the dress to a more reasonable length for the next time I wear it (I don't subscribe to the "you can only wear an outfit once" heresy; I like those dresses, I should be able to get some mileage out of them).
To everyone who came: Thank you so much! I had a wonderful time, and I hope you did too.
Another fun aspect of the weekend: listener came to town (for the party!), and we got to hang out. Like in person. We'd never met in person before, and it was nice to be able to put a physical presence to a person I've exchanged a lot of text with. Yay!
Halfway through the party, I figured out why having the party was a good idea. I intuitively knew it was for months, but it took until then to actually understand: I wanted to gather everyone and show them I wasn't a boy. I wanted to give everyone a mental image of me that they could use to help remember name and pronouns and stuff. I don't know for sure if that's what people got out of it, but I think it's possible. I mean, the party was a good time, and all of that, and it serves well enough to mark an important time in my life, but in terms of the social manipulation of symbols, it was ironically strangely close to the meaning of "being presented to society".
I don't think I remember anyone taking photos, though if someone did, I might like to see them. So many people were dressed up so nicely! I had two outfits to wear, even; I changed mid-party. Gratuitous, but fun. The second one was a long enough dress that it required heels not to drag on the floor, so I was amazingly stupidly tall for a bit. Perhaps I will hem the dress to a more reasonable length for the next time I wear it (I don't subscribe to the "you can only wear an outfit once" heresy; I like those dresses, I should be able to get some mileage out of them).
To everyone who came: Thank you so much! I had a wonderful time, and I hope you did too.
Another fun aspect of the weekend: listener came to town (for the party!), and we got to hang out. Like in person. We'd never met in person before, and it was nice to be able to put a physical presence to a person I've exchanged a lot of text with. Yay!