Fic: Ornamental
Title: Ornamental
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1453
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Ianto and Jack already have a lot of things to do around the house and garden on their day off, but Jack can’t resist an impulse buy.
Written For: Weekend Challenge Prompt: Grab Bag at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Getting a day off was rare enough for Torchwood that both Jack and Ianto wanted to make the most of it, not so much in terms of going somewhere and having fun, but to catch up on overdue chores. There was so much to do both inside, and out in the garden of their small end of terrace house that after a short lie-in, they decided their best course of action was to divide and conquer.
Ianto hung out the laundry he’d done the previous night and got another load on, then ran the hoover around while Jack mowed the lawns, front and back. Then they piled into Ianto’s car to do the grocery shopping, heading towards one of the larger supermarkets on the outskirts of town because it had a garden centre right next door, and they needed a few things from there.
“Right,” said Ianto as they got out of the car. “You nip next door, get the compost and fertiliser, and a new watering can. I’ll make a start in here. You can join me when you’ve stowed everything in the car.” He handed the keys to Jack before giving his lover a quick kiss on the lips. “Try not to get a load of stuff we don’t need, okay?”
Jack grinned. “No promises, but I’ll try.”
“Jack…” There was a note of warning in Ianto’s voice. “I don’t want to get back here and find the car so filled with bedding plants we don’t have room for that there’s nowhere to put the shopping.”
“Minimal bedding plants, I promise. Only if I see something I really can’t resist.”
It was pointless for Ianto to tell his partner to only get what was on the list; Jack didn’t work that way. If he saw something he wanted then he bought it, so Ianto simply sighed.
“Good enough, I suppose.” He couldn’t really blame his lover for getting a bit carried away sometimes; it had been a long time since he’d had a garden, and he seemed determined to cram as many flowering plants into it as he could. “Just don’t spend all day in there.”
“I’ll be back to help with the rest of the shopping before you know it,” Jack promised.
“I’ll believe that when I see it. Don’t make me have to come looking for you!”
“Oh ye of little faith,” Jack complained. “I’m not that bad.”
“No comment. See you in a bit.”
To Ianto’s surprise, Jack found him in the supermarket when he’d only made it as far as the dairy section and still had the frozen foods to get. He always put the coldest things in his trolley last, even though it meant walking right back to the far end of the store again. That way there was less chance of things thawing before he got them home and put away.
“That was fast. You did get everything on the list, I hope.”
“Three bags of multi-purpose compost, plant food, two watering cans…”
“We only needed one!”
“They were on offer, and I thought if we had a spare, we wouldn’t have to use a jug from the kitchen next time one gets broken.”
Ianto huffed. “If you hadn’t left it where you did, it wouldn’t have been flattened when you jumped off the decking.”
“I didn’t put it there; it was probably the local foxes. You know what they’re like with anything left outside. It’s not my fault that almost all watering cans these days are so easy to damage.”
“Plastic weighs less than the metal ones, so most people prefer them.” Ianto put a piece of extra mature cheddar cheese in the trolley and turned to face his lover. “So, how many plants did you buy?”
“Not many, just a couple of bearded irises, some of the striped petunias, and some cottage pinks, the clove scented ones. They didn’t have any the last time we were here.”
“Hm, that doesn’t sound too bad then. Get the milk, will you?”
“Yes, Sir!” Jack saluted, grinning, and headed for the milk while Ianto got the yogurts.
Half an hour later, they were through the checkout and on their way home, the bags of groceries tucked in the back, taking up the floor as well as the seat, since the gardening things were in the boot. Ianto reversed into their driveway to make unloading easier, Jack helped him take the food and other essentials indoors and put them away, then it was back outside to empty the boot.
“We’ll get this done, then after lunch we can sort out where the new plants should go,” Ianto said, opening the boot, only to be confronted with two large metallic objects. He stared at them for a moment, his mind in a whirl. Were they something that had come through the Rift and that Jack had forgotten to mention? “What on earth…”
“Aren’t they brilliant?” Jack was beaming his thousand-watt smile, practically bouncing with excitement. “I saw them, and I couldn’t resist getting a couple. They’re completely recycled, handmade by Kenyan artisans. Don’t worry, I got liners for them, and some pegs to fasten their feet down so they won’t topple over. They had bigger ones, but I thought they might be a bit much for our garden, so I went with the medium size.”
Ianto couldn’t speak, simply staring at the pair of three-foot tall ostriches made of what looked like old nuts, bolts, washers, and twisted metal, all carefully welded together.
“They reminded me of Ozzie,” Jack rambled on, oblivious. “You remember the ostrich that followed me home that time?”
“How could I possibly forget?”
“Well, you wouldn’t let me keep him, but I figured you couldn’t possibly object to these. Just think how amazing they’ll look standing in the garden filled with the petunias. Everyone will admire them! Ianto? Say something!
Shaking his head, Ianto turned to his lover. “Metal ostriches? Seriously?” He sighed. “Well, I suppose that’s better than the plastic flamingos you had your eye on the other week.”
“You were right about those. I mean, I still like them, but they wouldn’t suit our garden, they’re a bit too bright. These are much better, because they’re not just decorative, they’re planters.” Jack lifted one out of the boot and stood it up. “See? You put the liner in here, fill it with compost and plants, and that makes the ostrich’s body! I got two so they wouldn’t be lonely.”
“Lonely? They can’t get lonely, they’re not alive! You’re certifiable!”
Jack paid no attention whatsoever. “I thought we could put one each end of the decking.” He lifted the second one out. “I’ll take them around the back, you bring the plants. They should probably be watered before we put them in.
“Well,” Ianto muttered to himself as Jack vanished around behind the house with his metal pets, “I suppose it’s his home too, and I never said he couldn’t have garden sculptures. I should be thankful; at least he didn’t buy a bunch of hideous plastic gnomes.”
Unloading the rest of Jack’s purchases and propping the bags of compost against the wall of the house until they could be moved down to the garden shed, Ianto slammed the boot shut and started ferrying the plants into the back garden, where Jack was already busy trying to find the best places for the ostriches to stand. He wanted them to be in full view, but not in the way of the washing line or blocking any of the paths. When he was satisfied, he pegged their feet down.
“What d’you think?” he asked as he straightened up. “I wasn’t sure whether they should face the house or look out across the garden, so I put them at an angle. That way they can keep an eye on everything. They’ll look even better once I’ve got them planted up.”
“You can do that after lunch, while I’m hanging the rest of the washing out.” Whether Ianto liked it or not, and at the moment he was still undecided, it looked like Jack’s ostriches were there to stay. Maybe they wouldn’t be so bad once they were filled with flowers. They made Jack happy, and perhaps that was the most important thing. Before he could think, he found himself saying, “We should probably get a couple of lengths of chain and secure them to the deck so no one can steal them.”
Jack beamed back at him. “I knew you’d like them!”
‘Like’ was probably too strong a word, but… “They’re certainly going to stand out.”
“That’s what I thought! Just wait and see, we’re going to have the best garden on the whole street!”
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1453
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Ianto and Jack already have a lot of things to do around the house and garden on their day off, but Jack can’t resist an impulse buy.
Written For: Weekend Challenge Prompt: Grab Bag at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Getting a day off was rare enough for Torchwood that both Jack and Ianto wanted to make the most of it, not so much in terms of going somewhere and having fun, but to catch up on overdue chores. There was so much to do both inside, and out in the garden of their small end of terrace house that after a short lie-in, they decided their best course of action was to divide and conquer.
Ianto hung out the laundry he’d done the previous night and got another load on, then ran the hoover around while Jack mowed the lawns, front and back. Then they piled into Ianto’s car to do the grocery shopping, heading towards one of the larger supermarkets on the outskirts of town because it had a garden centre right next door, and they needed a few things from there.
“Right,” said Ianto as they got out of the car. “You nip next door, get the compost and fertiliser, and a new watering can. I’ll make a start in here. You can join me when you’ve stowed everything in the car.” He handed the keys to Jack before giving his lover a quick kiss on the lips. “Try not to get a load of stuff we don’t need, okay?”
Jack grinned. “No promises, but I’ll try.”
“Jack…” There was a note of warning in Ianto’s voice. “I don’t want to get back here and find the car so filled with bedding plants we don’t have room for that there’s nowhere to put the shopping.”
“Minimal bedding plants, I promise. Only if I see something I really can’t resist.”
It was pointless for Ianto to tell his partner to only get what was on the list; Jack didn’t work that way. If he saw something he wanted then he bought it, so Ianto simply sighed.
“Good enough, I suppose.” He couldn’t really blame his lover for getting a bit carried away sometimes; it had been a long time since he’d had a garden, and he seemed determined to cram as many flowering plants into it as he could. “Just don’t spend all day in there.”
“I’ll be back to help with the rest of the shopping before you know it,” Jack promised.
“I’ll believe that when I see it. Don’t make me have to come looking for you!”
“Oh ye of little faith,” Jack complained. “I’m not that bad.”
“No comment. See you in a bit.”
To Ianto’s surprise, Jack found him in the supermarket when he’d only made it as far as the dairy section and still had the frozen foods to get. He always put the coldest things in his trolley last, even though it meant walking right back to the far end of the store again. That way there was less chance of things thawing before he got them home and put away.
“That was fast. You did get everything on the list, I hope.”
“Three bags of multi-purpose compost, plant food, two watering cans…”
“We only needed one!”
“They were on offer, and I thought if we had a spare, we wouldn’t have to use a jug from the kitchen next time one gets broken.”
Ianto huffed. “If you hadn’t left it where you did, it wouldn’t have been flattened when you jumped off the decking.”
“I didn’t put it there; it was probably the local foxes. You know what they’re like with anything left outside. It’s not my fault that almost all watering cans these days are so easy to damage.”
“Plastic weighs less than the metal ones, so most people prefer them.” Ianto put a piece of extra mature cheddar cheese in the trolley and turned to face his lover. “So, how many plants did you buy?”
“Not many, just a couple of bearded irises, some of the striped petunias, and some cottage pinks, the clove scented ones. They didn’t have any the last time we were here.”
“Hm, that doesn’t sound too bad then. Get the milk, will you?”
“Yes, Sir!” Jack saluted, grinning, and headed for the milk while Ianto got the yogurts.
Half an hour later, they were through the checkout and on their way home, the bags of groceries tucked in the back, taking up the floor as well as the seat, since the gardening things were in the boot. Ianto reversed into their driveway to make unloading easier, Jack helped him take the food and other essentials indoors and put them away, then it was back outside to empty the boot.
“We’ll get this done, then after lunch we can sort out where the new plants should go,” Ianto said, opening the boot, only to be confronted with two large metallic objects. He stared at them for a moment, his mind in a whirl. Were they something that had come through the Rift and that Jack had forgotten to mention? “What on earth…”
“Aren’t they brilliant?” Jack was beaming his thousand-watt smile, practically bouncing with excitement. “I saw them, and I couldn’t resist getting a couple. They’re completely recycled, handmade by Kenyan artisans. Don’t worry, I got liners for them, and some pegs to fasten their feet down so they won’t topple over. They had bigger ones, but I thought they might be a bit much for our garden, so I went with the medium size.”
Ianto couldn’t speak, simply staring at the pair of three-foot tall ostriches made of what looked like old nuts, bolts, washers, and twisted metal, all carefully welded together.
“They reminded me of Ozzie,” Jack rambled on, oblivious. “You remember the ostrich that followed me home that time?”
“How could I possibly forget?”
“Well, you wouldn’t let me keep him, but I figured you couldn’t possibly object to these. Just think how amazing they’ll look standing in the garden filled with the petunias. Everyone will admire them! Ianto? Say something!
Shaking his head, Ianto turned to his lover. “Metal ostriches? Seriously?” He sighed. “Well, I suppose that’s better than the plastic flamingos you had your eye on the other week.”
“You were right about those. I mean, I still like them, but they wouldn’t suit our garden, they’re a bit too bright. These are much better, because they’re not just decorative, they’re planters.” Jack lifted one out of the boot and stood it up. “See? You put the liner in here, fill it with compost and plants, and that makes the ostrich’s body! I got two so they wouldn’t be lonely.”
“Lonely? They can’t get lonely, they’re not alive! You’re certifiable!”
Jack paid no attention whatsoever. “I thought we could put one each end of the decking.” He lifted the second one out. “I’ll take them around the back, you bring the plants. They should probably be watered before we put them in.
“Well,” Ianto muttered to himself as Jack vanished around behind the house with his metal pets, “I suppose it’s his home too, and I never said he couldn’t have garden sculptures. I should be thankful; at least he didn’t buy a bunch of hideous plastic gnomes.”
Unloading the rest of Jack’s purchases and propping the bags of compost against the wall of the house until they could be moved down to the garden shed, Ianto slammed the boot shut and started ferrying the plants into the back garden, where Jack was already busy trying to find the best places for the ostriches to stand. He wanted them to be in full view, but not in the way of the washing line or blocking any of the paths. When he was satisfied, he pegged their feet down.
“What d’you think?” he asked as he straightened up. “I wasn’t sure whether they should face the house or look out across the garden, so I put them at an angle. That way they can keep an eye on everything. They’ll look even better once I’ve got them planted up.”
“You can do that after lunch, while I’m hanging the rest of the washing out.” Whether Ianto liked it or not, and at the moment he was still undecided, it looked like Jack’s ostriches were there to stay. Maybe they wouldn’t be so bad once they were filled with flowers. They made Jack happy, and perhaps that was the most important thing. Before he could think, he found himself saying, “We should probably get a couple of lengths of chain and secure them to the deck so no one can steal them.”
Jack beamed back at him. “I knew you’d like them!”
‘Like’ was probably too strong a word, but… “They’re certainly going to stand out.”
“That’s what I thought! Just wait and see, we’re going to have the best garden on the whole street!”
The End