Fic: Noises In The Night
Title: Noises In The Night
Author: badly_knitted
Characters/Pairing: Ianto, Jack, Team Torchwood
Rating: G
Word Count: 1603
Summary: Torchwood has been asked to investigate some weird noises coming from an abandoned building.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Silliness bordering on crack.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters. Which is sad.
As far as Ianto was concerned, the derelict hotel couldn’t have been any creepier if it had tried. It had been standing empty for almost a decade, but recent reports of strange noises coming from inside meant that Torchwood had been called in by a certain Detective Inspector to check into it, so here he and Jack were. This wasn’t the kind of evening out he’d been hoping for, but he supposed it was the sort he should have been expecting. All things strange and unexplained came under the heading of Torchwood business, something he ought to be used to by now.
On the whole, Ianto considered himself to be a level-headed kind of bloke, but a mere twenty minutes into the investigation he was already starting to regret suggesting to Jack that they split up in order to get the job done faster, in the hope they might be able to salvage at least part of their evening. There was no electricity supply and the gloom within the hotel’s walls was almost impenetrable, even with the strong beam of his Torchwood issue flashlight to guide him, but still he kept moving deeper and deeper into the building, treading carefully in case of loose or rotten floorboards, or other unseen hazards. Nobody had bothered much about the hotel’s upkeep since the previous owners had gone bankrupt; there was some uncertainty over who actually owned it now, and because of that it wasn’t in the best shape, slowly crumbling away inside and out. The fading grandeur and a lingering odour of decay only added to the sinister atmosphere inside. It was, to put it mildly, unsettling.
‘wopwop’
Ianto paused. Had he heard something just then, a weird sound, like muffled footsteps? He wasn’t sure so he kept as still as he could and listened carefully, but he heard only silence, not even the quiet scuffling and squeaking of rodents.
Shaking his head, he chastised himself for being so jumpy; he was a Torchwood agent, used to facing down Weevils and worse, and here he was getting creeped out from being alone in an abandoned building at night. How pitiful was that? If Owen ever found out Ianto knew he’d never hear the end of it.
Taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders, pushing resurfacing childhood fears of ghoulies and ghosties and long-legged beasties firmly to the back of his mind, Ianto set off again, determined not to let the spooky atmosphere affect him. The worst he was likely to find in a place like this was a nest of Weevils, or possibly a Hoix, although Weevils would be more inclined to settle in the basement than on one of the upper floors. More than likely any weird noises would turn out to be either the result of kids playing pranks, or the wind blowing through the cracked windows and disused plumbing.
He’d only taken a few more steps when…
‘wopwopwop’
His stride faltered; there was no denying it now, it wasn’t the product of an overactive imagination, he’d definitely heard something that time. Steeling his nerves, he forced himself to keep walking at a steady, unhurried pace even though his nerves were screaming at him to run for his life, preferably straight for the nearest exit. The sound was echoing off the corridor walls, and he needed to pin down exactly which direction it was coming from, otherwise he might end up running headlong into danger instead of away from it.
‘wopwopwopwopwopwopwopwopwopwopwop’
There it was again. Whatever it was, it seemed to be coming from behind him, as if the source of the sound was following him, which was a far from comforting thought. He spun around, gun in one hand and torch in the other, casting about with its beam, trying to spot… he had no idea what; not a Weevil or a Hoix, nothing so familiar. Something more out of the ordinary.
There was nothing, the corridor behind him was empty, and yet he knew he hadn’t imagined the weird sound. Quickly he backed towards the nearest wall. As defensible positions went it was far from ideal, but it was the best available to him at present and at least it meant nothing could attack him from behind. As he tried to calm his racing heart by taking a few deep breaths, his eyes searching the shadows around him for any sign of movement, the sound came again…
‘wopwopwopwop’
It was right in front of him now! Dreading what he might see, he lowered his gaze.
Two big, round, yellow eyes were staring up at him. Slowly, warily, he pointed his torch downwards and the eyes blinked in the light. Ianto stifled a laugh.
The creature was round and about twice the size of a tennis ball, with short arms, stubby antennae, a tiny round mouth and two big flappy webbed feet underneath. It seemed to be the feet that were making the weird noise as the creature walked.
“Well hello there. Who are you? What are you, for that matter?”
It blinked up at him and went ‘Meep.’
“Are you all alone here?”
It meeped again, louder this time, and there was a thunder of flappy feet as dozens of the little things emerged from the shadows beneath abandoned bits of furniture.
‘WOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOP’
They clustered around his feet, meeping with excitement. Ianto snorted softly; he’d been scared half out of his mind over of a horde of little round aliens? One thing was for sure, he was never admitting that to anyone; he had his pride. Not much of it, true, not after everything the tattered shreds of his dignity had been subjected to in recent years, but he intended to hold on to what little remained. With a shake of his head and a wry grin at his own foolishness he tapped his earpiece.
“Jack?”
“Ianto! Everything okay?”
“Yep! I think I’ve found the source of the weird noises.”
“You have? Good work! Where are you?”
“Third floor, at the back.”
“Stay put; I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Right. I just have to find the stairs… I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.”
“Take your time, no need to rush.” Ianto relaxed; there was nothing to be afraid of at all.
OoOoOoO
When Jack arrived, Ianto was sitting in an abandoned but still relatively solid armchair, surrounded by the excitedly meeping creatures. They parted as he approached and he made his way to Ianto, testing the arm of the chair to make sure it would hold his weight before perching on it.
“Well, this is fun!”
“Isn’t it? They seem friendly enough, but I’ve never come across anything like them in our databases, or UNIT’s either. D’you have any idea what they are?” Ianto asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do. Hang on a minute. Hold this.” Jack passed Ianto his torch and started fiddling with his wrist strap. “They’re called Oblerons, one of the smaller spacefaring races. Their voices are too high pitched for human ears, but with this I should be able to make them more audible. If I just…” He pressed a few more buttons and moments later, squeaky voices filled the room.
“Helping, pleeeease? We crash, hide here long time. Wan’ go home!”
“Their ship must be somewhere nearby; they can’t walk long distances on dry ground,” Jack explained. “They come from a very marshy planet, where their feet are an advantage, but on dry land they don’t get around so well. Better call Tosh and the rest of the team, looks like we’ve got a spaceship to fix.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Ianto was already on his phone, contacting the others.
Jack turned towards the Oblerons. “Don’t worry, guys. We’ll soon have you on your way home.”
OoOoOoO
It turned out that the Oblerons were a scientific study group, researching human social interactions. They’d only been intending to carry out their observations for a few days, gathering data remotely by way of small, cloaked drones, but fate had intervened, and their ship, which was also cloaked, had been stuck on the roof of the hotel for several weeks, ever since lightning had hit it during a severe storm, causing it to crash there. They hadn’t been able to acquire the necessary resources to make repairs, being unable to move around or communicate with humans, but Torchwood had encountered no such difficulties and in fact had been able to supply everything the Oblerons needed just by dipping into the vast store of junk in the archives. Ianto had always known those broken bits and pieces would come in useful someday.
Three hours later, their spaceship repaired courtesy of Tosh, with Jack’s able assistance, eighty-four Oblerons bid the team a squeaky farewell and waddled up the ship’s ramp in single file. Needless to say, it took quite a while for them all to board.
As the ramp drew in and the doors closed, Team Torchwood stood back and watched as with a muted hum, the ship rose into the air. There was a brief flash of golden light as it opened a Rift portal, and then in the blink of an eye they were gone.
“Not a bad night’s work at all,” Jack announced in a satisfied tone. “I think this calls for a celebration. Who wants fish and chips? I’m buying!”
Chatting cheerfully, the team trooped out of the hotel, piled into their vehicles, and drove away in search of a late supper, leaving the abandoned hotel behind them, silent and still.
‘glorp squelch glurp ribble ribble glorp’
Well, almost silent…
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters/Pairing: Ianto, Jack, Team Torchwood
Rating: G
Word Count: 1603
Summary: Torchwood has been asked to investigate some weird noises coming from an abandoned building.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Silliness bordering on crack.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters. Which is sad.
As far as Ianto was concerned, the derelict hotel couldn’t have been any creepier if it had tried. It had been standing empty for almost a decade, but recent reports of strange noises coming from inside meant that Torchwood had been called in by a certain Detective Inspector to check into it, so here he and Jack were. This wasn’t the kind of evening out he’d been hoping for, but he supposed it was the sort he should have been expecting. All things strange and unexplained came under the heading of Torchwood business, something he ought to be used to by now.
On the whole, Ianto considered himself to be a level-headed kind of bloke, but a mere twenty minutes into the investigation he was already starting to regret suggesting to Jack that they split up in order to get the job done faster, in the hope they might be able to salvage at least part of their evening. There was no electricity supply and the gloom within the hotel’s walls was almost impenetrable, even with the strong beam of his Torchwood issue flashlight to guide him, but still he kept moving deeper and deeper into the building, treading carefully in case of loose or rotten floorboards, or other unseen hazards. Nobody had bothered much about the hotel’s upkeep since the previous owners had gone bankrupt; there was some uncertainty over who actually owned it now, and because of that it wasn’t in the best shape, slowly crumbling away inside and out. The fading grandeur and a lingering odour of decay only added to the sinister atmosphere inside. It was, to put it mildly, unsettling.
‘wopwop’
Ianto paused. Had he heard something just then, a weird sound, like muffled footsteps? He wasn’t sure so he kept as still as he could and listened carefully, but he heard only silence, not even the quiet scuffling and squeaking of rodents.
Shaking his head, he chastised himself for being so jumpy; he was a Torchwood agent, used to facing down Weevils and worse, and here he was getting creeped out from being alone in an abandoned building at night. How pitiful was that? If Owen ever found out Ianto knew he’d never hear the end of it.
Taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders, pushing resurfacing childhood fears of ghoulies and ghosties and long-legged beasties firmly to the back of his mind, Ianto set off again, determined not to let the spooky atmosphere affect him. The worst he was likely to find in a place like this was a nest of Weevils, or possibly a Hoix, although Weevils would be more inclined to settle in the basement than on one of the upper floors. More than likely any weird noises would turn out to be either the result of kids playing pranks, or the wind blowing through the cracked windows and disused plumbing.
He’d only taken a few more steps when…
‘wopwopwop’
His stride faltered; there was no denying it now, it wasn’t the product of an overactive imagination, he’d definitely heard something that time. Steeling his nerves, he forced himself to keep walking at a steady, unhurried pace even though his nerves were screaming at him to run for his life, preferably straight for the nearest exit. The sound was echoing off the corridor walls, and he needed to pin down exactly which direction it was coming from, otherwise he might end up running headlong into danger instead of away from it.
‘wopwopwopwopwopwopwopwopwopwopwop’
There it was again. Whatever it was, it seemed to be coming from behind him, as if the source of the sound was following him, which was a far from comforting thought. He spun around, gun in one hand and torch in the other, casting about with its beam, trying to spot… he had no idea what; not a Weevil or a Hoix, nothing so familiar. Something more out of the ordinary.
There was nothing, the corridor behind him was empty, and yet he knew he hadn’t imagined the weird sound. Quickly he backed towards the nearest wall. As defensible positions went it was far from ideal, but it was the best available to him at present and at least it meant nothing could attack him from behind. As he tried to calm his racing heart by taking a few deep breaths, his eyes searching the shadows around him for any sign of movement, the sound came again…
‘wopwopwopwop’
It was right in front of him now! Dreading what he might see, he lowered his gaze.
Two big, round, yellow eyes were staring up at him. Slowly, warily, he pointed his torch downwards and the eyes blinked in the light. Ianto stifled a laugh.
The creature was round and about twice the size of a tennis ball, with short arms, stubby antennae, a tiny round mouth and two big flappy webbed feet underneath. It seemed to be the feet that were making the weird noise as the creature walked.
“Well hello there. Who are you? What are you, for that matter?”
It blinked up at him and went ‘Meep.’
“Are you all alone here?”
It meeped again, louder this time, and there was a thunder of flappy feet as dozens of the little things emerged from the shadows beneath abandoned bits of furniture.
‘WOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOPWOP’
They clustered around his feet, meeping with excitement. Ianto snorted softly; he’d been scared half out of his mind over of a horde of little round aliens? One thing was for sure, he was never admitting that to anyone; he had his pride. Not much of it, true, not after everything the tattered shreds of his dignity had been subjected to in recent years, but he intended to hold on to what little remained. With a shake of his head and a wry grin at his own foolishness he tapped his earpiece.
“Jack?”
“Ianto! Everything okay?”
“Yep! I think I’ve found the source of the weird noises.”
“You have? Good work! Where are you?”
“Third floor, at the back.”
“Stay put; I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Right. I just have to find the stairs… I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.”
“Take your time, no need to rush.” Ianto relaxed; there was nothing to be afraid of at all.
OoOoOoO
When Jack arrived, Ianto was sitting in an abandoned but still relatively solid armchair, surrounded by the excitedly meeping creatures. They parted as he approached and he made his way to Ianto, testing the arm of the chair to make sure it would hold his weight before perching on it.
“Well, this is fun!”
“Isn’t it? They seem friendly enough, but I’ve never come across anything like them in our databases, or UNIT’s either. D’you have any idea what they are?” Ianto asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do. Hang on a minute. Hold this.” Jack passed Ianto his torch and started fiddling with his wrist strap. “They’re called Oblerons, one of the smaller spacefaring races. Their voices are too high pitched for human ears, but with this I should be able to make them more audible. If I just…” He pressed a few more buttons and moments later, squeaky voices filled the room.
“Helping, pleeeease? We crash, hide here long time. Wan’ go home!”
“Their ship must be somewhere nearby; they can’t walk long distances on dry ground,” Jack explained. “They come from a very marshy planet, where their feet are an advantage, but on dry land they don’t get around so well. Better call Tosh and the rest of the team, looks like we’ve got a spaceship to fix.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Ianto was already on his phone, contacting the others.
Jack turned towards the Oblerons. “Don’t worry, guys. We’ll soon have you on your way home.”
OoOoOoO
It turned out that the Oblerons were a scientific study group, researching human social interactions. They’d only been intending to carry out their observations for a few days, gathering data remotely by way of small, cloaked drones, but fate had intervened, and their ship, which was also cloaked, had been stuck on the roof of the hotel for several weeks, ever since lightning had hit it during a severe storm, causing it to crash there. They hadn’t been able to acquire the necessary resources to make repairs, being unable to move around or communicate with humans, but Torchwood had encountered no such difficulties and in fact had been able to supply everything the Oblerons needed just by dipping into the vast store of junk in the archives. Ianto had always known those broken bits and pieces would come in useful someday.
Three hours later, their spaceship repaired courtesy of Tosh, with Jack’s able assistance, eighty-four Oblerons bid the team a squeaky farewell and waddled up the ship’s ramp in single file. Needless to say, it took quite a while for them all to board.
As the ramp drew in and the doors closed, Team Torchwood stood back and watched as with a muted hum, the ship rose into the air. There was a brief flash of golden light as it opened a Rift portal, and then in the blink of an eye they were gone.
“Not a bad night’s work at all,” Jack announced in a satisfied tone. “I think this calls for a celebration. Who wants fish and chips? I’m buying!”
Chatting cheerfully, the team trooped out of the hotel, piled into their vehicles, and drove away in search of a late supper, leaving the abandoned hotel behind them, silent and still.
‘glorp squelch glurp ribble ribble glorp’
Well, almost silent…
The End