mess
Little rant , Update.
I am still waiting to see the gender clinic. I have had no word from them in 8 months. I know covid and all this has had an effect. I was buying hormone treatment myself online and my Dr was great about it and reviewed it with blood tests. In reality I didn't get on with the hormones. It made me depressed an introspective. I have a propensity to that anyway so felt my usual creative energies fade. I need those things though. I am very up / down but l like to be able to focus and I didn't get that chance when I felt my balance was wrong. Balance is a strange idea within itself. It presupposes there is a normal. We all unique with our 'normal' . One thing It did do is give me more empathy with women/girls who have hormone fluctuations their whole life. It made me feel a bit guilty, in the sense that l hadn't always noticed that before. Some of the behaviours id dismissed as 'silly girl' are actually fucking real. I don't mind admitting that. I don't want to be messed with chemically (unless I'm electing for that experience). I stopped the hormones because they did something to me that wasn't me. I liked that my body changed a bit but there is little written about the mental cost. Im super aware of myself and my 'normal'.
Id never tell anyone else what to do. When you think about how much womens bodies are politicised and manipulated to fit the culture over 100s of years you understand that the trans experience, while it suffers the same prejudice, is actually a separate world. That is my personal view at this time. Misogyny in all its forms must be destroyed.
I am still waiting to see the gender clinic. I have had no word from them in 8 months. I know covid and all this has had an effect. I was buying hormone treatment myself online and my Dr was great about it and reviewed it with blood tests. In reality I didn't get on with the hormones. It made me depressed an introspective. I have a propensity to that anyway so felt my usual creative energies fade. I need those things though. I am very up / down but l like to be able to focus and I didn't get that chance when I felt my balance was wrong. Balance is a strange idea within itself. It presupposes there is a normal. We all unique with our 'normal' . One thing It did do is give me more empathy with women/girls who have hormone fluctuations their whole life. It made me feel a bit guilty, in the sense that l hadn't always noticed that before. Some of the behaviours id dismissed as 'silly girl' are actually fucking real. I don't mind admitting that. I don't want to be messed with chemically (unless I'm electing for that experience). I stopped the hormones because they did something to me that wasn't me. I liked that my body changed a bit but there is little written about the mental cost. Im super aware of myself and my 'normal'.
Id never tell anyone else what to do. When you think about how much womens bodies are politicised and manipulated to fit the culture over 100s of years you understand that the trans experience, while it suffers the same prejudice, is actually a separate world. That is my personal view at this time. Misogyny in all its forms must be destroyed.