do your little spork on the catwalk, yeah
Avast, me hearties! There's no need for the pirate slang, but it's Thursday and that in itself is deserving of something special. Plus, I've got the best of the worst summaries you're not reading!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Initiative finds out that Willow is a witch.
The conversation would have gone kinda like this:
Riley: "So I heard your friend Willow is a witch. For realsies?"
Buffy: "Yeah. Kiss me."
What if during the Salem witch trials they had searched for vampires instead of witches?
Well, for one, we might not be calling them the Salem witch trials.
Willow romances Sabrina from "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" in college.
Hand me that fork. I need to poke my eyes out.
Spike had been having these dreams, these dreams that involved a certain red-headed witch.
Ginny Weasley?
Buffy is kipnaped and killed. But she leaves something precious to her behind. Something that will one day safe the world. i will write a better summary.
I seriously doubt that last part, badfic author.
you do the math!
Thanks, it's my day off. I'll do the math tomorrow.
House
Did you ever wonder how Coma Guy came to be in a coma?
No. Next!
House is trapped in an 18th century kingdom, with a princess who looks exactly like Wilson.
So what you're saying is... she is not a pretty, pretty princess.
Two middle-aged people try to adjust their pendulums so they swing together. In other words Huddy.
How is that "in other words Huddy"? How did you even make that connection? And what the hell is all this talk about pendulums?
House decides to pull a prank on his favorite ex-duckling now that she works in the ER. Will Cameron take it lying down or fight fire with fire.
Couldn't she do both? Lay on her stomach and shoot a flamethrower? I'd buy it.
The Ducklings are in for a surprise, implied slash.
It's only a surprise the first forty times. Except in the "Sarah Connor Chronicles" fandom - then it's always a surprise. And disgusting.
Sometimes things left in childhood refuse to remain behind.
So they're not really left in childhood, are they?
Some supernaturalish elements, but not truly supernatural.
With fanfic-ish elements, but not truly fanfic.
How can happy holidays turn to fear and danger?
Invite my Uncle Ernie! *drum-hit drum-hit cymbals* Thanks, I'll be here all day.
CSI
Who said that video games couldn't be romantic?
No one. Especially not me - I'm up to level 45 on "Kiss and Tell."
I never thought that the show's writers would let Grissom retire and go to Sara.
You and everyone else, badfic author. Well, except for Laurence Fishburne.
Catherine meets a Gangster, but when a rival gang tries to kill him and drags Catherine in by utter chance.
It's not utter chance when you fall in love with a gangster. It's inevitable.
Why is one of our favorite guys using baby talk?
My first answer is "brain damage." My second answer is "m-preg."
St. Patrick's Day 2010 with the crew from the crime lab. What are our favorite CSIs up to today?
Grissom - painting his bugs green. Catherine - wearing a green sequined dress. Hodgins - creating a new green alcoholic drink. Brass - wearing a green tie. Greg and Nick - playing a drinking game. Sara - Riverdancing.
A few references to bugs and canoes, and the others are satisfied.
Bugs and canoes are never enough to satisfy me. I work at a summer camp.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Stories about John Henry, by John Henry, for John Henry fans!
Well, that's not me. Next!
Facing one's fate is the measure of a man. Changing one's fate is the measure of a hero.
And using fortune cookie fortunes as fanfic summaries is the measure of badness.
NCIS
Jenny and Jethro talk...
...using Patricia Arquette. Because Jenny is dead.
The life of an NCIS agent is dark and depressing. What happens when the one thing that makes it worthwhile is taken away?
NO! Not Gibbs' "Firefly" DVDs!
Gibbs and Ziva end up trapped in a dead Marine’s panic room after he was found dead within the room.
As opposed to ending up in an alive Marine's panic room after he was found dead.
A Strange girl is in the office, who is she?
Summer Glau!
When an Earthquake hits DC what will happen, who will get hurt
Since this is totally improbable, so will my answer be - Nathan Fillion.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Initiative finds out that Willow is a witch.
The conversation would have gone kinda like this:
Riley: "So I heard your friend Willow is a witch. For realsies?"
Buffy: "Yeah. Kiss me."
What if during the Salem witch trials they had searched for vampires instead of witches?
Well, for one, we might not be calling them the Salem witch trials.
Willow romances Sabrina from "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" in college.
Hand me that fork. I need to poke my eyes out.
Spike had been having these dreams, these dreams that involved a certain red-headed witch.
Ginny Weasley?
Buffy is kipnaped and killed. But she leaves something precious to her behind. Something that will one day safe the world. i will write a better summary.
I seriously doubt that last part, badfic author.
you do the math!
Thanks, it's my day off. I'll do the math tomorrow.
House
Did you ever wonder how Coma Guy came to be in a coma?
No. Next!
House is trapped in an 18th century kingdom, with a princess who looks exactly like Wilson.
So what you're saying is... she is not a pretty, pretty princess.
Two middle-aged people try to adjust their pendulums so they swing together. In other words Huddy.
How is that "in other words Huddy"? How did you even make that connection? And what the hell is all this talk about pendulums?
House decides to pull a prank on his favorite ex-duckling now that she works in the ER. Will Cameron take it lying down or fight fire with fire.
Couldn't she do both? Lay on her stomach and shoot a flamethrower? I'd buy it.
The Ducklings are in for a surprise, implied slash.
It's only a surprise the first forty times. Except in the "Sarah Connor Chronicles" fandom - then it's always a surprise. And disgusting.
Sometimes things left in childhood refuse to remain behind.
So they're not really left in childhood, are they?
Some supernaturalish elements, but not truly supernatural.
With fanfic-ish elements, but not truly fanfic.
How can happy holidays turn to fear and danger?
Invite my Uncle Ernie! *drum-hit drum-hit cymbals* Thanks, I'll be here all day.
CSI
Who said that video games couldn't be romantic?
No one. Especially not me - I'm up to level 45 on "Kiss and Tell."
I never thought that the show's writers would let Grissom retire and go to Sara.
You and everyone else, badfic author. Well, except for Laurence Fishburne.
Catherine meets a Gangster, but when a rival gang tries to kill him and drags Catherine in by utter chance.
It's not utter chance when you fall in love with a gangster. It's inevitable.
Why is one of our favorite guys using baby talk?
My first answer is "brain damage." My second answer is "m-preg."
St. Patrick's Day 2010 with the crew from the crime lab. What are our favorite CSIs up to today?
Grissom - painting his bugs green. Catherine - wearing a green sequined dress. Hodgins - creating a new green alcoholic drink. Brass - wearing a green tie. Greg and Nick - playing a drinking game. Sara - Riverdancing.
A few references to bugs and canoes, and the others are satisfied.
Bugs and canoes are never enough to satisfy me. I work at a summer camp.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Stories about John Henry, by John Henry, for John Henry fans!
Well, that's not me. Next!
Facing one's fate is the measure of a man. Changing one's fate is the measure of a hero.
And using fortune cookie fortunes as fanfic summaries is the measure of badness.
NCIS
Jenny and Jethro talk...
...using Patricia Arquette. Because Jenny is dead.
The life of an NCIS agent is dark and depressing. What happens when the one thing that makes it worthwhile is taken away?
NO! Not Gibbs' "Firefly" DVDs!
Gibbs and Ziva end up trapped in a dead Marine’s panic room after he was found dead within the room.
As opposed to ending up in an alive Marine's panic room after he was found dead.
A Strange girl is in the office, who is she?
Summer Glau!
When an Earthquake hits DC what will happen, who will get hurt
Since this is totally improbable, so will my answer be - Nathan Fillion.