(no subject)
The basic plot of this is that Light saves L by taking a bullet from a sniper. Souichirou starts beating L up at the hospital because it’s all L’s fault that his son’s hurt. L is a wuss and doesn’t fight back. Then some stuff happens, and Light’s better after, like, a day. Then L is in the hospital, and… it’s just really messed up. And then there’s a really terrible back story and the MPreg...
My commentary/sporking is bold, and I've underlined a couple of things for emphasis. Enjoy (or not).
For full sporkage of this fic, click here: http://retrophilic.livejournal.com/45816.html#cutid1
“ He had done this to him. What had he done to his friend? I don’t know, you tell me, you just said you’d done it to him. ”
“ Not wanting to make Light uncomfortable, L decided to do something he never would have dreamed of. Become in character. Sing for another human being. His mother always used to tell him that he had a beautiful voice. Apparently, his mother wasn’t human. Since, you know, he never would have dreamed of singing for another human being.
Insert Evanescence song here. No, I am not joking.
Suddenly, L felt a warmth on his cheek. He looked up to see that Light's eyes were just barely open. L's eyes widened. Light’s eyes emit heat. Oh. So that’s why his name’s Light. ”
“ Propping himself up on the pillows, he leaned over the side of the bed in what seemed like slow motion to L, and wrapped his arms around the frail insomniac. This was confusing to L. He had never had someone worry over him. He had never had someone care. His mother had beaten him in between complimenting his singing. And he certainly never had anyone, let alone a male (since his father was actually his mother-different species, remember?), let alone a best friend wrap their arms around him for comfort. ”
“ When L awoke in the same chair in Light's room, Which makes no sense, since he had a concussion just a little while ago. he was fairly surprised. His injuries still hurt like Hell but he was still alive. Usually would have discovered him by now. Unfortunately, Usually wasn’t around, so he’d just have to deal with being OOC for the rest of the fic. Because he was still holding Light's hand - which of course he didn't understand - this made him even more anxious. The complexities of “holding hands” were unknown to the genius detective. ”
“ Light's eyes flickered open, gently adjusting to the brightness of morning in a hospital. Morning in a hospital is a completely different affair from morning anywhere else, as you know. ”
When asked by Matsuda and Light about why he looked so beat up, “ The raven shrugged and ruffled the feathers he had spontaneously sprouted. "Fell down the stairs." ”
“ Light's confrontation with L had left Matsuda and himself with many questions. Matsuda and himself. Light either has no questions or is part of Matsuda. ”
“ Finally giving up, the raven closed his dark eyes and waited for the rain to wash him away. After all, a bird’s bones are hollow. He should be light enough. ”
“ "I don't know where he went. Just that he's probably dead by now." The older man This is Souichirou. was smirking, his glasses making his eyes look even more sinister. Light dropped him and all his worthlessness onto the floor. Shit, I just dropped my worthlessness! Give me a few seconds while I gather it up… ”
“ Light had pulled L into him, hugging him as tightly as he could. Ow, that must have hurt. Oh, no, wait, is this the promised YAOI? ”
“ They had even tried having real sex. (This time, Light was made to be on top.) Followed by a flashback of them having “real sex”-is there any other kind? Can I have fake sex? ”
“ Light had his face glued to the cool white tile of the bathroom floor. Yes, great hyperbole there. ”
“ And so the pregnancy of Light Yagami, lover to L Ryuuzaki, fake boyfriend to Amane Misa, friend of many, son of Soichiro Yagami, brother to Sayu Yagami, lover of animals and L, began. Department of Redundancy Department, how can I be of help to helping you? ”
I love the random “lover of animals.” Bestiality, anyone?
My commentary/sporking is bold, and I've underlined a couple of things for emphasis. Enjoy (or not).
For full sporkage of this fic, click here: http://retrophilic.livejournal.com/45816.html#cutid1
“ He had done this to him. What had he done to his friend? I don’t know, you tell me, you just said you’d done it to him. ”
“ Not wanting to make Light uncomfortable, L decided to do something he never would have dreamed of. Become in character. Sing for another human being. His mother always used to tell him that he had a beautiful voice. Apparently, his mother wasn’t human. Since, you know, he never would have dreamed of singing for another human being.
Insert Evanescence song here. No, I am not joking.
Suddenly, L felt a warmth on his cheek. He looked up to see that Light's eyes were just barely open. L's eyes widened. Light’s eyes emit heat. Oh. So that’s why his name’s Light. ”
“ Propping himself up on the pillows, he leaned over the side of the bed in what seemed like slow motion to L, and wrapped his arms around the frail insomniac. This was confusing to L. He had never had someone worry over him. He had never had someone care. His mother had beaten him in between complimenting his singing. And he certainly never had anyone, let alone a male (since his father was actually his mother-different species, remember?), let alone a best friend wrap their arms around him for comfort. ”
“ When L awoke in the same chair in Light's room, Which makes no sense, since he had a concussion just a little while ago. he was fairly surprised. His injuries still hurt like Hell but he was still alive. Usually would have discovered him by now. Unfortunately, Usually wasn’t around, so he’d just have to deal with being OOC for the rest of the fic. Because he was still holding Light's hand - which of course he didn't understand - this made him even more anxious. The complexities of “holding hands” were unknown to the genius detective. ”
“ Light's eyes flickered open, gently adjusting to the brightness of morning in a hospital. Morning in a hospital is a completely different affair from morning anywhere else, as you know. ”
When asked by Matsuda and Light about why he looked so beat up, “ The raven shrugged and ruffled the feathers he had spontaneously sprouted. "Fell down the stairs." ”
“ Light's confrontation with L had left Matsuda and himself with many questions. Matsuda and himself. Light either has no questions or is part of Matsuda. ”
“ Finally giving up, the raven closed his dark eyes and waited for the rain to wash him away. After all, a bird’s bones are hollow. He should be light enough. ”
“ "I don't know where he went. Just that he's probably dead by now." The older man This is Souichirou. was smirking, his glasses making his eyes look even more sinister. Light dropped him and all his worthlessness onto the floor. Shit, I just dropped my worthlessness! Give me a few seconds while I gather it up… ”
“ Light had pulled L into him, hugging him as tightly as he could. Ow, that must have hurt. Oh, no, wait, is this the promised YAOI? ”
“ They had even tried having real sex. (This time, Light was made to be on top.) Followed by a flashback of them having “real sex”-is there any other kind? Can I have fake sex? ”
“ Light had his face glued to the cool white tile of the bathroom floor. Yes, great hyperbole there. ”
“ And so the pregnancy of Light Yagami, lover to L Ryuuzaki, fake boyfriend to Amane Misa, friend of many, son of Soichiro Yagami, brother to Sayu Yagami, lover of animals and L, began. Department of Redundancy Department, how can I be of help to helping you? ”
I love the random “lover of animals.” Bestiality, anyone?