what is it with Mary Sues
...and Joker? Even the animated version can't escape them. Since the first three chapters of Mr Jokers daughter make no freaking sense at all, I'm skipping to the fourth, which explains her Tragic Backstory (tm).
Joker’s daughter looked at the mirror on the back of the door.
Why do I not look like my dad? she wondered. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t be doing something like this.
She had not received her father’s crazy red hair.Uh, what? Joker's hair is green. Always has been. Maybe she's actually Ronald McDonald's kid. *thinks about that, throws up in mouth a little* Moving on!! Her hair was long and glossy, a brown made from the deepest hues of the earth, for she was an earth child, HIPPIE! grounded and somewhat realistic. Her hair was like her mother’s, Joker used to say. She was a spitting image of her, he had told her as she grew up. What had scared her from a fear to hate of her father was that sentence. That she looked like her mother.
It freaked her out to no end, especially after what had happened to her mother. ALL RIGHT, we get it, MOMMY ISSUES! Jeez.
Joker had many whores during the little time when he was rich, well-known, and not in jail, as most of the evil arch-nemesis people tend to do. Because it's totes in the How to Be Evil Handbook that you have to be rich, famous, and do hookers. Right after the chapter about not ordering traps from Acme. And in other news, apparently Batman canon is phoning into work sick today.
*snip, Joker and Mary Sue's mom, Anne, don't wrap it up. Hence how Mary Sue arrived. Moral of the story: Use a condom! Prevent ridiculous OCs!*
Whatever and whomever was to fault, Anne was gone from Joker’s life for three years while Joker was in jail. She came back from hiding once, to dump their two-year-old daughter on him, and left him To go right back into the arms of Bruce Wayne, multi-millionaire. World's worst conjugal visit. "Hi honey. I'm leaving you for some playboy. Oh! Have our daughter, despite the fact that you're behind bars! BYE NOW!"
Her abandonment of him never stood well with Joker. But he forgot Anne for his daughter, a bubbly two-year-old who’s intelligence surprised him. Her tiny fingers and toes fascinated him around every turn, as he learned to love from a little child who never knew how not to. *GAG*
His cell mates teased him about his newfound lover, *DOUBLE GAG* Where's "To Catch a Predator" when you need them!! until they too fell under the spell of the gurgling child. Joker received the best food for his daughter, RIGHT, because the people in charge of the cafeteria in PRISON are the same little old ladies from the school hot lunch program. and cared for her more than himself. He swore to teach her everything he ever knew, to make her his heir. That would be his biggest mistake, and his downfall.
When Joker escaped with her baby from jail, Anne tracked him down. Wait up. HER baby? Isn't she the one who ditched it with him in the first place? And where the hell is Harley Quinn in all this? She talked to everyone, high and low people. They told Anne what they could. She called in her debts and pulled strings everywhere to follow her baby’s daddy as he raced away from her.
This was unknown to the police, of course. No one but a hardened criminal like Anne could manage to track the Joker down. Whore =/= hardened criminal. Author, please, for the sake of my brain, throw away your keyboard.
Eventually, she found him. Where, it is not important. What was more important was that Anne’s contacts had been fully truthful to her-but had also been fully truthful to their other boss, Joker. They tipped him off, so he knew of her progress, and was prepared to meet her.
Coincidently Also known as "Coincidentally", but apparently the word is using an Alan Smithee for this story a mirror quite like the one in front of his daughter in the present had smashed over Anne’s head while they had fought. She would have won if he hadn’t cheated like that. But that was Joker’s way.
*snip snip* Anne is a Mary Sue as well, fights off every single of of Joker's "six foot goons" without so much as breaking a sweat and then goes to find Joker. Guest-starring a nonsensical paragraph of epic proportions that I could not, for the life of me, figure out!
All Joker had to do was walk to where she could see him. She had come at him with her club and raised it up to beat him down. Her anger got the better of her serene demeanor, and she yelled “I want to see my daughter!” This break from her natural, calm, daughter-ditching and in control self was what Joker was waiting for.
He grabbed her bat from behind to stop her from beating him with it.
He slowly stood up, while holding his foot to Anne’s neck at the same time. Wait, how did he... Oh forget this, I'm going to go dunk my head in brain bleach until the pain goes away. It was unfortunate for Anne that the past few years were probably the only years of his life he had ever worked out. Being cooped up with only a baby for entertainment, he had used the gym, and had become slightly more muscular.
He was strong enough to have torn the bat from her hands, and now he used it to smash up her face. Her jaw bones broke, she looked up at him from the ground and into the face of her former lover. "Now YOU need plastic surgery! Isn't that ironic," Joker giggled in a sudden fit of characterization. "Don't you think?"
Smiling, as usual, he blew her a kiss.
“Good-bye, Anne.” He walked behind the mirrors and pushed them on top of her-a perfect trap. Um... how is it a perfect trap? Methinks the author doth overestimate too much in regards to the weight of the mirror.
He had killed his baby’s mother. That baby who, at the moment, was staring at a mirror. So she was not only a super-genius baby, she also has mirror-related powers over the flow of time! -Why am I trying to rationalize this crappy sentence??
“You killed her, Dad. I will make your life a living hell,” she swore. She threw a final dart at her father’s picture which was hanging on the wall, and left her room.
Joker’s daughter looked at the mirror on the back of the door.
Why do I not look like my dad? she wondered. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t be doing something like this.
She had not received her father’s crazy red hair.Uh, what? Joker's hair is green. Always has been. Maybe she's actually Ronald McDonald's kid. *thinks about that, throws up in mouth a little* Moving on!! Her hair was long and glossy, a brown made from the deepest hues of the earth, for she was an earth child, HIPPIE! grounded and somewhat realistic. Her hair was like her mother’s, Joker used to say. She was a spitting image of her, he had told her as she grew up. What had scared her from a fear to hate of her father was that sentence. That she looked like her mother.
It freaked her out to no end, especially after what had happened to her mother. ALL RIGHT, we get it, MOMMY ISSUES! Jeez.
Joker had many whores during the little time when he was rich, well-known, and not in jail, as most of the evil arch-nemesis people tend to do. Because it's totes in the How to Be Evil Handbook that you have to be rich, famous, and do hookers. Right after the chapter about not ordering traps from Acme. And in other news, apparently Batman canon is phoning into work sick today.
*snip, Joker and Mary Sue's mom, Anne, don't wrap it up. Hence how Mary Sue arrived. Moral of the story: Use a condom! Prevent ridiculous OCs!*
Whatever and whomever was to fault, Anne was gone from Joker’s life for three years while Joker was in jail. She came back from hiding once, to dump their two-year-old daughter on him, and left him To go right back into the arms of Bruce Wayne, multi-millionaire. World's worst conjugal visit. "Hi honey. I'm leaving you for some playboy. Oh! Have our daughter, despite the fact that you're behind bars! BYE NOW!"
Her abandonment of him never stood well with Joker. But he forgot Anne for his daughter, a bubbly two-year-old who’s intelligence surprised him. Her tiny fingers and toes fascinated him around every turn, as he learned to love from a little child who never knew how not to. *GAG*
His cell mates teased him about his newfound lover, *DOUBLE GAG* Where's "To Catch a Predator" when you need them!! until they too fell under the spell of the gurgling child. Joker received the best food for his daughter, RIGHT, because the people in charge of the cafeteria in PRISON are the same little old ladies from the school hot lunch program. and cared for her more than himself. He swore to teach her everything he ever knew, to make her his heir. That would be his biggest mistake, and his downfall.
When Joker escaped with her baby from jail, Anne tracked him down. Wait up. HER baby? Isn't she the one who ditched it with him in the first place? And where the hell is Harley Quinn in all this? She talked to everyone, high and low people. They told Anne what they could. She called in her debts and pulled strings everywhere to follow her baby’s daddy as he raced away from her.
This was unknown to the police, of course. No one but a hardened criminal like Anne could manage to track the Joker down. Whore =/= hardened criminal. Author, please, for the sake of my brain, throw away your keyboard.
Eventually, she found him. Where, it is not important. What was more important was that Anne’s contacts had been fully truthful to her-but had also been fully truthful to their other boss, Joker. They tipped him off, so he knew of her progress, and was prepared to meet her.
Coincidently Also known as "Coincidentally", but apparently the word is using an Alan Smithee for this story a mirror quite like the one in front of his daughter in the present had smashed over Anne’s head while they had fought. She would have won if he hadn’t cheated like that. But that was Joker’s way.
*snip snip* Anne is a Mary Sue as well, fights off every single of of Joker's "six foot goons" without so much as breaking a sweat and then goes to find Joker. Guest-starring a nonsensical paragraph of epic proportions that I could not, for the life of me, figure out!
All Joker had to do was walk to where she could see him. She had come at him with her club and raised it up to beat him down. Her anger got the better of her serene demeanor, and she yelled “I want to see my daughter!” This break from her natural, calm, daughter-ditching and in control self was what Joker was waiting for.
He grabbed her bat from behind to stop her from beating him with it.
He slowly stood up, while holding his foot to Anne’s neck at the same time. Wait, how did he... Oh forget this, I'm going to go dunk my head in brain bleach until the pain goes away. It was unfortunate for Anne that the past few years were probably the only years of his life he had ever worked out. Being cooped up with only a baby for entertainment, he had used the gym, and had become slightly more muscular.
He was strong enough to have torn the bat from her hands, and now he used it to smash up her face. Her jaw bones broke, she looked up at him from the ground and into the face of her former lover. "Now YOU need plastic surgery! Isn't that ironic," Joker giggled in a sudden fit of characterization. "Don't you think?"
Smiling, as usual, he blew her a kiss.
“Good-bye, Anne.” He walked behind the mirrors and pushed them on top of her-a perfect trap. Um... how is it a perfect trap? Methinks the author doth overestimate too much in regards to the weight of the mirror.
He had killed his baby’s mother. That baby who, at the moment, was staring at a mirror. So she was not only a super-genius baby, she also has mirror-related powers over the flow of time! -Why am I trying to rationalize this crappy sentence??
“You killed her, Dad. I will make your life a living hell,” she swore. She threw a final dart at her father’s picture which was hanging on the wall, and left her room.