I feel...kinda evil for sporking this. But hey.
From "The Bible" section of The Pit. But, bizarrely, has nothing to do with the bible.
Does She Not Know? by
All about the evils of cutting birthday cake with the fish knife.
What happened to the friend I could always lean on? She fell over. Because you kept leaning on her.
Snip.
Does she not know that there's a new J.K Rowling out?
That this is a one way road to Cleethorpes, Lincs.
No turning back Well, the "One way road" bit kinda told us that. But hey, poetic license, I guess.
Just going forward Yes, the "One way road" bit - oh, never mind.
Does she not know that swans mate for life?
This can ruin her Friends and Family and next door neighbours and casual acquaintances, and even the postman
Not just her hamster
Does she not know that Claude Rains never got an Oscar?
That Cutting paper dolls and fairies out of scrap paper can not stop the pain
Just bring more annoying scraps of paper lying around
Does she not know about the new Sean Penn film, Milk?
That there is a hope
A light at the end of this tunnel which is a train. Sorry, old joke...
Does she not know that the only play Shakespeare devised all by himself was The Tempest?
That the History plays are historically inaccurate?
That Hope is God!! Yay! God is so awesome he needs two exclamation marks! Not three, though. That's a bit mean, really. God is that awesome, and he doesn't even get three exclamation marks?