Not the worst Voldy's Daughter Sue I've ever seen, but still pretty bad.
Casey sat in her room, brushing her hair. It felt so good to be in her father's presence again. To live in his house. (What house? Voldy had an orphanage, a bed at his school, and possibly/probably a flat at some point while he was living in London after leaving school. There has never been any mention of him having a house. He has no legal rights to the Riddle House, and even if he did, I'm not sure that he'd want it.) And it was fun at nights to sneak down to the village and terrify the villages. But there was always one thing she'd always missed out on. Real friends and a Real education. (As opposed to that fake education she has gotten while presumably studying under some of the most talented Dark witches and wizards in the country?)
All her life she'd always wanted to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. (Why? Did her father brag about it extensively to her, just to crush her dreams by telling her she couldn't go? ...Actually, that sounds like something Voldy would do. Carry on, then!)
Her father had always told her that he'd never make her have to be that close to the goodie-two-shoes scum that was Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore. (How did he always tell her anything? You essentially say in the next paragraph that she's only recently met him.) Although she would be sorted into Slytherin, she'd be in the same grade as Harry potter.
She dispised Harry Potter. He was the person who had made her live without her father for the past 17 years. She'd always loved her father, but not having him close was devastating. She had grown up without a father. Sure, Potter had to grow up without both his parents, but they knew the risks when they joined the order of the phoenix, unlike Casey's father, who could possibly have imagined that becoming a Dark Lord might be risky! Grindelwald had sworn that it was the safest job ever (right before he was defeated and locked in prison for life).
She had been stuck at an orphanage for magical children, because she apparently doesn't have a mother. Until this last summer, her father had been unable to find her. Seriously, who'd have expected the girl with no parents to be at an orphanage? Dumbledore hid her well. But now she was with him again. Except it wasn't the same. She still had no mother and her father doesn't have the same love for her now as he used to. He loved her so much more when she was a baby! (Casting the Cruciatus on her every time she cried was a sign of love, right?)
Now his life is consumed with Harry Potter, and killing him. And when he's not thinking about The-Boy-who-lived, he's trying to free his precious followers. How dare he prioritize getting his followers out of prison and fucking world domination over her ballet recitals? Hasn't he ever seen Despicable Me?
{Snip: Peter tells Casey to go see her father. Tonight is going to be the night. That is all we're told. Then we're in a graveyard and Casey wanders off.}
"You had your chance to baby me, I'm 17 now, relax" she wandered off again, like the stubborn, disobediant teenager girl that was.
Tom puffed with anger. "How do you control that?" He yelled to Peter and walked off in the opposite direction. (Imperius usually does the trick. Come on, Voldy, you're The Dark Lord. You can think of something.)
Peter knew better than to mention torture, it would be the best way. But he liked Casey and her mother had always been so against violence. (I don't think a mother necessarily needs to be against violence in general to object to her own kid being tortured. It may be slightly hypocritical, but it's certainly understandable.) So he knew his Lord would never perform a curse of physically hurt her unless life threatening to her or himself. (Imperius doesn't hurt. Just saying.)
After five minutes of wandering both Casey and Tom returned. Both glaring at each other, and in sour moods. (So, "any moment now" suddenly means "in ten minutes or so"? Was his, uh, ex-wife so against violence that Voldemort has completely stopped disciplining everyone? At this rate, showing up to the circle at all will be optional in a few months.)
Peter sighed, but was forced to bring his attention to the clearing as followers were arriving.
Each apparating then taking their spot in a half circle (The other half of the circle was... what? Dead? Imprisoned? Is attending the meetings already optional?), across from their master.
Peter stood at Tom's side, Casey slightly hidden behind her father. (The Death Eaters' first impression of Casey.)
{Snip: Death Eaters show up.}
"You're all here tonight as I have made my decision on my heir and tonight you will find out who that heir will be." (OMG, who could this heir possibly be? His one and only child? ...Nah. I mean, who ever heard of a guy's child being his heir? Madness!)
No one made a noise.
"As you are aware, I, myself, was once married. And yes, I had a child. Although my child was not born a boy, but a girl." The Death Eaters gasped. "Can children really do that?" Several of them wondered aloud. None of them could imagine what might have caused such a strange occurrence. "Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you, my daughter. Lady Casey" he motioned for Casey to step forward.
Casey did so. All eyes turned to her as she removed her hood and allowed her jet black, blood red streaked hair to fall out of her cape and down her back. (Purple tips and she might be Ebony's twin!)
"This is my heir" Boomed her father's voice.
Full Sporking Here.
All her life she'd always wanted to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. (Why? Did her father brag about it extensively to her, just to crush her dreams by telling her she couldn't go? ...Actually, that sounds like something Voldy would do. Carry on, then!)
Her father had always told her that he'd never make her have to be that close to the goodie-two-shoes scum that was Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore. (How did he always tell her anything? You essentially say in the next paragraph that she's only recently met him.) Although she would be sorted into Slytherin, she'd be in the same grade as Harry potter.
She dispised Harry Potter. He was the person who had made her live without her father for the past 17 years. She'd always loved her father, but not having him close was devastating. She had grown up without a father. Sure, Potter had to grow up without both his parents, but they knew the risks when they joined the order of the phoenix, unlike Casey's father, who could possibly have imagined that becoming a Dark Lord might be risky! Grindelwald had sworn that it was the safest job ever (right before he was defeated and locked in prison for life).
She had been stuck at an orphanage for magical children, because she apparently doesn't have a mother. Until this last summer, her father had been unable to find her. Seriously, who'd have expected the girl with no parents to be at an orphanage? Dumbledore hid her well. But now she was with him again. Except it wasn't the same. She still had no mother and her father doesn't have the same love for her now as he used to. He loved her so much more when she was a baby! (Casting the Cruciatus on her every time she cried was a sign of love, right?)
Now his life is consumed with Harry Potter, and killing him. And when he's not thinking about The-Boy-who-lived, he's trying to free his precious followers. How dare he prioritize getting his followers out of prison and fucking world domination over her ballet recitals? Hasn't he ever seen Despicable Me?
{Snip: Peter tells Casey to go see her father. Tonight is going to be the night. That is all we're told. Then we're in a graveyard and Casey wanders off.}
"You had your chance to baby me, I'm 17 now, relax" she wandered off again, like the stubborn, disobediant teenager girl that was.
Tom puffed with anger. "How do you control that?" He yelled to Peter and walked off in the opposite direction. (Imperius usually does the trick. Come on, Voldy, you're The Dark Lord. You can think of something.)
Peter knew better than to mention torture, it would be the best way. But he liked Casey and her mother had always been so against violence. (I don't think a mother necessarily needs to be against violence in general to object to her own kid being tortured. It may be slightly hypocritical, but it's certainly understandable.) So he knew his Lord would never perform a curse of physically hurt her unless life threatening to her or himself. (Imperius doesn't hurt. Just saying.)
After five minutes of wandering both Casey and Tom returned. Both glaring at each other, and in sour moods. (So, "any moment now" suddenly means "in ten minutes or so"? Was his, uh, ex-wife so against violence that Voldemort has completely stopped disciplining everyone? At this rate, showing up to the circle at all will be optional in a few months.)
Peter sighed, but was forced to bring his attention to the clearing as followers were arriving.
Each apparating then taking their spot in a half circle (The other half of the circle was... what? Dead? Imprisoned? Is attending the meetings already optional?), across from their master.
Peter stood at Tom's side, Casey slightly hidden behind her father. (The Death Eaters' first impression of Casey.)
{Snip: Death Eaters show up.}
"You're all here tonight as I have made my decision on my heir and tonight you will find out who that heir will be." (OMG, who could this heir possibly be? His one and only child? ...Nah. I mean, who ever heard of a guy's child being his heir? Madness!)
No one made a noise.
"As you are aware, I, myself, was once married. And yes, I had a child. Although my child was not born a boy, but a girl." The Death Eaters gasped. "Can children really do that?" Several of them wondered aloud. None of them could imagine what might have caused such a strange occurrence. "Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you, my daughter. Lady Casey" he motioned for Casey to step forward.
Casey did so. All eyes turned to her as she removed her hood and allowed her jet black, blood red streaked hair to fall out of her cape and down her back. (Purple tips and she might be Ebony's twin!)
"This is my heir" Boomed her father's voice.
Full Sporking Here.