I'm not sure whether this belongs here or on
goodfic_quotes, because if it's intended to be as wacky as it is, it's awesome. However, it's horrifyingly surreal and it definitely has absolutely nothing to do with its originating canon, so it fits here as well.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, better known as "Thirty Hs" for ease of spelling and pronunciation. Fic is not work safe, nor brain safe.
Harry withdrew his guitar, Fuckslayer, from a dimension where all screamed for naught.
Wrought from the silver heart of heaven's false promise, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals, it laughed as it was set loose, a laugh that only Harry could hear, but no one could share.
[...]
Harry then did fly his meteor through space, punching astral vampires in half with his fists encased in fuckfire and throwing their ruined heads into the past where they bit cavemen on mars so that history changed and now there are vampire cavemen on mars.
[...]
Harry slammed his book shut. It wasn't really a book, because the pages were made of lasers and the words were made of headless women making godless love to dragons made out of motorcycles, but it was still reading.
"Gumbledorp, if you don't stop, we'll starve, and no one will be around to kill everyone in the universe if we get around to bringing everyone back to life after we killed them."
This is just the start, but since it's so short I didn't want to end up quoting the whole thing.