(no subject)
I survived my first therapy appointment yesterday morning. It was as stressful as I expected and as hard, completely draining and I’ve felt rather empty and numb for the last two days but I think it’s going to be really helpful and I’m having a glimmer of hope for the first time in months. I've been in and out of various different therapies for over 25 years and this is the only time anyone's ever asked me what I want to achieve.
It’s like I said to her, I don’t want to feel like this but I don’t know how not to. And I’ve been having issues with my mental health for over 20 years - I’m not entirely sure who I am without this blanket of depression/anxiety. Can I just say admitting that might just be the hardest thing I’ve EVER done.
So we established my mental health baseline - I'm severely depressed with moderate-to-severe anxiety. We talked about some of my current feelings, behaviours and physical symptoms. We talked about how it's all affecting me on a day-to-day basis. We talked about my short-term and long-term goals and then the various types of treatment we can combine
We're going to be doing a plan called BASE which combined body, achievement, socialisation and Enjoyment and she's going to be using a combination of CBT, NLP, DBT and talk therapy.
My homework for the first week is to contact my GP to discuss a different sleeping pill - it's like I said to Chloe; I don't know I need one until 5-6 hours too late to take one, they knock me out of 12 hours so at 1am they're no good. So she wants me to get one that isn't as strong. And I also have to ring the musculoskeletal people to chase up my physio appointment.
Right now though, it's cold and snowing, all my joints hurt, I have a thumping headache and feel mildly sick so I'm going to curl up in my blankie nest and watch something pretty. Not sure I have the spoons for reading/commenting right now but I'll catch up with y'all over the week :)
It’s like I said to her, I don’t want to feel like this but I don’t know how not to. And I’ve been having issues with my mental health for over 20 years - I’m not entirely sure who I am without this blanket of depression/anxiety. Can I just say admitting that might just be the hardest thing I’ve EVER done.
So we established my mental health baseline - I'm severely depressed with moderate-to-severe anxiety. We talked about some of my current feelings, behaviours and physical symptoms. We talked about how it's all affecting me on a day-to-day basis. We talked about my short-term and long-term goals and then the various types of treatment we can combine
We're going to be doing a plan called BASE which combined body, achievement, socialisation and Enjoyment and she's going to be using a combination of CBT, NLP, DBT and talk therapy.
My homework for the first week is to contact my GP to discuss a different sleeping pill - it's like I said to Chloe; I don't know I need one until 5-6 hours too late to take one, they knock me out of 12 hours so at 1am they're no good. So she wants me to get one that isn't as strong. And I also have to ring the musculoskeletal people to chase up my physio appointment.
Right now though, it's cold and snowing, all my joints hurt, I have a thumping headache and feel mildly sick so I'm going to curl up in my blankie nest and watch something pretty. Not sure I have the spoons for reading/commenting right now but I'll catch up with y'all over the week :)